


Summer of Loss

by Sineadfitz72



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Multi, Sequel to The Wedding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 64,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27991992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sineadfitz72/pseuds/Sineadfitz72
Summary: Six months after they're married, Dean, Castiel and Siobhan have trouble on their doorstep..........
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Dean - Relationship, Sam - Relationship
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Summer of Loss

NATE

It was summer in Lebanon, Kansas.

The sun was shining, the fields were green, and the trees and flowers were in full bloom. Unfortunately for Nate, his meat suit was allergic to everything that fucking bloomed apparently.  
He was on watch. Hunkered down, in a field across from a derelict building. Well it looked derelict and sure the top part was, but the bunker beneath, well that was inhabited.  
Eyes and nose streaming he kept watch for any movement, no matter how small.  
After two hours his patience was rewarded when a 67 Chevy Impala came gunning out of the garage at the back of the building. The only thing he saw of the driver was long brown hair.  
Bingo.  
He ran to his own car and followed the Impala all the way into the town of Lebanon.

Entering Lebanon, Nate watched as the driver of the Impala parked outside the grocery store. When she got out, she looked up and down the street before she entered the store.

Nate knew everything about her. She was the reason the Earth didn’t end six months previous. He also knew she married not just one, but two men which made her all the more interesting. The fact that one of those men was a Winchester made it all that more delicious.

But this wasn’t about her, she was just a means to an end. And when the time came, and it was time to strike, he’ll make sure she was gone forever.

SIOBHAN  
I wandered around the store picking up groceries for the special dinner that night. I was just choosing a chicken when I felt a presence behind me.  
I turned and there in the cold meat section of the grocery store, stood one of husbands. The Angelic one, complete with wings. Smiling at me.  
“Fancy meeting you here” I quipped walking towards him.  
I raised myself up on my toes as Cas’s arms came **around** me, and he lowered his head for a kiss. And what a kiss.  
I so lost myself in it that I forgot where I was until I heard “Get a room” from behind me.  
I could feel Cas’s smile against my lips.  
I broke away from him and asked “Not that I’m complaining but what are you doing here? Does Naomi know you’re playing hooky??”  
“I could feel you thinking about me” Cas said smiling  
I grinned back at him “I’m always thinking about you, honey. I miss you during the day”  
“I know. Me too” Cas replied “But Jack’s ideas need implementing and it’s an honour to do so”  
“I know that Cas. Look everyone works. I get it but I’m still going to miss you. So, you just have to put up with it. Now, dinner is at seven. Be there promptly, husband of mine”  
“I will” Cas promised and then he disappeared.

NATE

He watched as the store clerk piled a mountain of groceries into the back seat of the car. Siobhan, after tipping the clerk, started the car, did a U-turn and drove back the way she came, passing him on the way.

The smile on his face was nasty as he whispered “Soon, very soon”.

SIOBHAN  
I drove back to the bunker with the windows down and the music blasting. Bob Segar was singing about “Night Moves” and the fact that it was one of Dean’s favourites made me smile.  
The weather was glorious, and all was right in my world.  
I was madly in love with two men who I got to work and play with. Today was the six-month anniversary of our wedding and I was making something special. Castiel didn’t eat but he could enjoy a Scotch and I had picked up a real nice bottle at the store.

My mind went to Jack and how much we missed him. He left not long after the wedding. He arrived on the island two weeks into our honeymoon to tell us he was leaving. But that he wasn’t leaving alone. He was taking all the Archangels with him. Michael, Raphael, Gabriel and Lucifer. We were shocked.  
I remember Dean saying “Jack are you sure? What if you can’t handle them”

Jack had replied “I can. They need to learn some humility. And helping me restore the other universes might give them an appreciation for mankind. And some respect for the universe they live in”

I took his hands in mine and said to him “Unlike Chuck, you are not their father so no mollycoddling them, ok”

Jack smiled and said. “I won’t, I promise”. He then hugged each of us and then he was gone.

Arriving back at the bunker, I parked the car in the garage and made my way towards the kitchen. After putting away the groceries I went to look for my other husband. I found him in the map room, sitting at the table while talking on the phone. He beckoned me over by wagging his finger at me. I was only too happy to oblige.  
I sat on his lap, while he continued the conversation.  
“Ok Harry, thanks for letting us know. We’ll keep an eye out” Dean said and hung up the phone.  
“What was that about?” I asked  
“Harry Murdoch, he’s a hunter. He’s trailing a nest of vampires. They look like they’re heading this way. Harry is taking care of it but we better keep on top of it” Dean replied  
“Fantastic, something to look forward to” I said cringing. I hated vampires. Edward Cullen, they were not.  
“Talking about something to look forward to” Dean said waggling his eyebrows at me.  
“Save it for later” I laughed at him when he pouted at me “I have a dinner to get ready.

Dean followed me to the kitchen. As I prepared the dinner, I told him about Cas popping into the grocery store.  
Dean laughed “He better be careful. Jack might fire him for ditching the job”

After I had the chicken and potatoes in the oven, I made my way to the shower. I was so looking forward to tonight. We had the bunker all too ourselves and I wasn’t wasting a second of it.

DEAN  
I made my way back to the research room and booted up the laptop. I entered the information Harry had given me about the vampire nest. He was right, they were coming in this direction. I’ll ask Cas to give me a hand with it. Sam and Eileen were on a much-needed vacation and he didn’t want to handle it with just him and Siobhan.  
Having that much sorted, he went to clean himself up for their dinner this evening.

He was smiling walking back to his room. The last six months had been the happiest of his life. No, longer. When he met Siobhan, and Cas and he finally got together, life had been amazing. But he hadn’t been able to enjoy it until we won against Chuck. Our wedding day was the happiest I had ever felt. I thought I would burst apart from love and pride.  
Now here they were six months later. Every day with Siobhan and Cas just got better and better.

CASTIEL  
I arrived in the kitchen to find Dean pouring wine into a glass on the set table. It looked like Siobhan had gone all out. Dean didn’t notice me, so I walked up behind him and put my hands around his waist from behind.  
“Cas” Dean whispered “Your home”  
I kissed the back of his neck and whispered back “Happy anniversary”  
Dean turned to me grinning “Can you believe it’s been six months already”  
“I know” I replied “The best six months of my entire existence”  
I wasn’t lying. I had been around for a long time, but I never lived until I came to Earth and became friends with this wonderful man. And of our nearly 12 years together the last six months were definitely the best.  
We stood there with our arms around each other and I drank him in. I reached for his face and drew it down to mine until our lips met. Kissing Dean was the simplest pleasure and I never got tired of it. The only thing that matched it was kissing Siobhan.  
I felt Siobhan before I saw her. Turning in Dean’s arms we looked up and saw her standing in the doorway smiling. She wore a cream linen dress and sandals. Her hair was down, and her skin glowed with a healthy tan. She took my breath away.  
Siobhan had told me often, the sight of Dean and me kissing not only turned her on big time but gave her enormous pleasure. She said, “I love how you love each other”. It was that simple. And I understood it. I got the same pleasure watching her and Dean. But tonight, tonight was for the three of them.  
Siobhan stepped down into the kitchen and walked into both our arms. “Happy anniversary Dean” reaching up to kiss him.  
She then turned to me and said, “Happy anniversary Castiel” and kissed me.  
I drew back from her and said, “How hungry are you Siobhan?”  
“For food, I can wait, for you and Dean not so much” Siobhan replied knowingly  
I flew us to our room and for the next few hours we satisfied our need for each other.

NATE  
“The timing has to be perfect. Your only job is keeping the Angel busy, so he doesn’t interfere” I said, “This project of ours is only going to be successful if the Winchesters aren’t sniffing around, do ya hear, so we need them distracted.”  
“Yes, I hear you” the man said “I have the distraction planned. I just need the go ahead.”  
“Good, be ready for my call” I replied

DEAN  
It’s been three days since our anniversary night. And what a night it was. But it didn’t stop there. Ever since we had the bunker to ourselves, we had been acting, well like newlyweds. We couldn’t get enough of each other and this morning was no different. I was enjoying the recap in my head when an article caught my eye.  
Scrolling on the laptop my smile turned into a frown when I read a report from the local paper that a body had turned up, with its neck ripped out. Dammit, that nest of vampires must have turned up. I thought Harry was taking care of it.  
I pulled up the number for the local Sheriff’s office and introduced myself as Agent Carter with the FBI. From the information I got from him, it definitely wasn’t an animal attack. Dammit.  
A noise above alerted me to the bunker door opening and in walked Sam and Eileen looking very tanned and rested.  
“Hey, look who’s back” I said, “Did you have a nice time?”  
“Amazing” said Sam “My first real vacation. It was like a dream”  
Sam walked straight into my arms and we hugged it out. I had missed my brother more than I thought possible, but it was so gratifying to see him so happy. Eileen was grinning at us, and I reached over to give her a one-armed hug.  
“Well you both look great” I said  
Eileen signed “Thank you. it was amazing”  
“I’ll just throw my bag into my room and we can catch up” Sam said  
As he passed my laptop he stopped. “Vamps in Lebanon, Dean is this right?”  
“Yeah, looks like it. I was tracking them, but they disappeared a couple of days ago. I thought Harry Murdoch had taken care of them. Looks like they landed. I was going to ask Cas to give a hand” I said.  
“Well look, we’re here now. We’ll all go” Sam replied  
A shout of “Yes your home” came from behind me and Siobhan ran in laughing. She ran straight for Sam and hugged him before grabbing Eileen saying over and over “I missed you”. Eileen and Siobhan had become fast friends much to Sam and mine’s delight. It’s funny to think we both ended up with Irish women.  
“So, vampires” Sam said “We need to move”  
“Sam are you sure? You both just got home” I said  
“Vampires?” Siobhan asked so I filled her in.  
“Dammit, those sneaky little fuckers” Siobhan said “Do we know who they killed?  
“I didn’t recognize the name. Look I’m going to call Cas. And then we’ll all go” I replied

CASTIEL  
Sitting in my office, I was finalising some plans for Naomi, when I heard Dean praying. I heard him tell me about the vampires and could I give a hand. I stood ready to transport to him when an Angel named Zadkiel came into my office.  
“Whatever it is, will have to wait. I need to leave” I told him  
“I’m sorry Castiel but in the Kempa province, the zahora is collapsing. We can’t stop it. We need your help” Zadkiel said  
“What!” I said “We only sorted that out last week. And there were no problems then”  
“I know” Zadkiel replied “We are at a loss. We need you to look at it. You understand the construction more than I”  
“Very well. Give me a moment” I replied  
Dean couldn’t receive my thoughts, but Siobhan could.

SIOBHAN  
Dean finished his prayer but there was no sign of Cas just yet.  
“That’s weird” Dean said “He’s usually here by now”  
I then heard Cas in my head. He explained what happened in Heaven. “This shouldn’t take long. Can you wait for me?”  
“Cas, one man is already dead. Look we will be fine. Look for us when you can. I love you” I replied  
“And I love you” Cas replied.  
He broke the connection and Dean was looking at me knowingly “He’s not coming, is he?”  
“Crisis in Heaven apparently” I said “Look the four of us can handle this”

DEAN  
I was about to reply to Siobhan when the phone in my hand started ringing. The name on screen told me it was Rowena. “Hey Rowena, what’s up?” I asked her  
“Dean there is something going on that I need your help with” Rowena said “It’s really important”  
“Ok but Rowena, we are just heading out on a hunt. Its local so hopefully it won’t take us too long. Can it wait till we get back?”  
“Yeah sure, sure but you’ll call me as soon as you can” Rowena asked  
“I promise” I replied and then I hung up  
“Ok” I said “Gear up, we leave in 15 minutes”  
………………  
The man who had turned up dead had been found in the local woods, five miles outside of Lebanon. Three miles from the bunker.  
I parked the Impala at the entrance to the wood trail. There we armed ourselves with holy water and machetes from the trunk of the Impala.  
I looked over at Sam and said “I’m really sorry about this Sammy”  
Sam shrugged at me “Back in the saddle again”.

SIOBHAN  
We walked into the woods in single file. Dean in the lead, Sam bringing up the rear with me and Eileen in the middle. Out of the four of us I had the least experience but still I could hold my own, Dean made sure of that.  
The woods were quiet, too quiet. No sounds from birds or insects was usually a sure sign that danger was near. Even the sound of my breath seemed too loud.  
A twig snapped to the left of us. We turned and scanned the trees. Even with my superior eyesight, I couldn’t see anything, but the uneasy feeling was crawling up my spine. Vampires were vicious, cunning creatures. Even the most experienced hunter didn’t take them lightly. I feared for my family and for the first time I cursed that I didn’t take Jack up on his offer to make me a full Angel. Too late now.  
Dean turned to us “We need to spread out, but we stay within shouting distance, you hear”  
We all nodded our agreement. Dean went to the left of the trail while Sam went right. Eileen and I kept going straight until the trail path forked in front of us. With an encouraging nod at each other, we separated.

DEAN  
I hated separating even though tactically it was the best thing to do. Cover more ground. But and Eileen and Siobhan would kick my ass if they knew, I hated them out of my sight. And I knew Sam felt the same. But we were a hunting family and I just had to suck it up.  
I could feel we weren’t alone out here, but I had no sightings yet. The question going around my head that was sending cold sweat down my spine was, were we the hunters or the hunted?  
SIOBHAN  
Feeling very alone in the woods, I tried to steady my breathing. I reminded myself I had superior eyesight and strength to that of a vampire and I was trained by two of the best hunters in the land, but still I felt out of my depth.  
Something flashed in my peripheral vision. I spun to look but could see nothing. A twig cracked behind me. I turned again but still nothing. It was like something was dancing just out of reach. Keeping me off balance. Toying with me.  
I was about to call out to Dean when a light appeared not a couple of feet in front of me. It was a long string of light, like fire dancing in the air. It distracted me so that when I felt the presence behind me, I reacted too slow. I was pushed from behind towards the string of light. I screamed Dean’s name, but it was too late, and I fell.

CASTIEL  
I was working with my fellow Angels to fix the problem with the wall when an emptiness filled my being. It was so sudden that I fell to my knees.  
“Castiel” I heard someone call out. I realised it was Naomi when her face appeared in front of me.  
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Naomi asked  
The feeling was so overwhelming that it took me a minute to realise what it was. Ever since I got my wings back, I imprinted Dean and Siobhan onto my mind so that I aware of their presence at all times. I had done the same with Sam and Eileen. I would find them no matter where they went. Now I realised what it was. Siobhan’s presence was gone. I couldn’t feel her anymore.  
I looked up at Naomi with dread in my heart and said “Siobhan”

DEAN  
Siobhan’s scream had me running to find her. I could hear Sam and Eileen call out her name.  
“Sam, Sam do you have her” I roared  
“No, Dean over here” Sam called. I ran towards his voice. I had no sooner reached him when Cas appeared beside me  
“DEAN, what happened. Where’s Siobhan?” Cas asked  
“What, what” I asked Cas “How did you know something happened?”  
Cas wouldn’t look at me. Oh fuck, this is wrong, I thought  
“I’m going to search the area” Cas said before disappearing  
My breath was unsteady, I could barely fill my lungs. Suddenly Sam was filling my vision, holding my face with both hands “We’ll find her Dean, I promise, we will find her”  
I stared at Sam, drawing strength from him, like I always have. My brother who loved Siobhan like a sister, who disappeared together one day a month for the last six months because they were best friends, but always came home with silly presents for me and Cas and Eileen.  
“I’m ok Sammy. C’mon we need to search” I said  
We spread out, looking not only for Siobhan but for the vampires as well. Maybe this was their plan. Distract us, separate us and pick us off one by one.  
Thirty minutes went by before Cas appeared before me again.  
“I can’t find her Dean. She’s gone. She’s just gone” Cas said, the stress showing on his face “I can’t even sense her”  
“No, No Cas if she was dead, she’d be here. Her body would be here. They must have taken her” I said panicking now  
“Dean, vampires can’t outfly me. Her presence is not even registering with me. If she was anywhere on Earth, I would feel her” Cas said his voice sounded dead.  
That frightened me. Anywhere on Earth. Which means Siobhan wasn’t on Earth. But that was impossible. There was nowhere else to go. Chuck had seen to that. Even Jack couldn’t rebuild whole universes that fast.  
Cas and I stared at each other in horror.  
A cold spot was forming in the centre of my chest. One that would not go away for a long time.

SAM  
None of this made sense. Not only was there no sign of Siobhan, but there was no sign of vampires anywhere. Or that they had ever been here.  
Eileen and I had spread out in a circle checking anything that could be used as a hiding spot. We met up again down by a river that snaked through the woods. There were no fresh footprints in the mud save ours.  
“This isn’t happening” Eileen signed “Where could she be? It’s like she just vanished”  
“I don’t know” I replied.  
I dreaded going back to face my brother and Cas and tell them we couldn’t find her. Eileen and I stayed together while making our way back to them. When we found them, their faces told their own story.  
“Ok there is no way any creature could outrun Cas. There’s no way” I said “Which means they used a supernatural way to take her. Who we need is Rowena. She can tell if magic was used here”  
“Right, right” Dean said “I’ll call her”

DEAN  
Rowena was the last person to call me, so her number was at the top of the list on my phone. I called her now willing her to answer.  
“Dean, that was faster than I thought” Rowena said in lieu of a hello “Are you on the way” she drawled in her thick Scottish accent  
“What” I said momentarily distracted “No Rowena, we need your help. Its Siobhan, she’s gone, and we can’t find her”  
“What do you mean, you can’t find her?” Rowena cried down the phone.  
“Rowena I’ll explain all when you get here ok, but please I’m begging you. Please help us” I asked  
I had no sooner the words out when I heard her behind me “I’m here, what happened”  
I explained as quickly as I could what happened.  
“Show me exactly where she was” Rowena said holding out her hand to me.  
I took Rowena’s hand as the dress and shoes she was wearing were not suitable for a wooded area.  
As we got near to Siobhan’s last known position, Rowena stopped and said “That’s impossible”  
“What, what is it” I asked  
“Give me a minute Dean, I need to make sure” Rowena asked  
I physically had to stop myself from screaming at her to hurry on. I was falling apart, and I couldn’t stop it. A hand clasped mine and I looked into the face of Cas. “This is all my fault” I whispered

CASTIEL  
I didn’t have it in me to reassure Dean. A weight had settled in the pit of my stomach as we waited for Rowena to finish her examination.  
“There’s something here” Rowena said “I can feel the after effects of……..of”  
“What, what is it” Sam asked  
Rowena turned to us with shock on her face and said “Its celestial. Its Angel grace”  
“What does that mean” Dean cried “Rowena please”  
I fell to my knees as Rowena’s meaning sunk in. I put my head in my hands and tried to breathe.  
I barely heard as Rowena explained to Dean and the others that it was Siobhan’s grace she was sensing. That was all that was left of her. That was all that was left of our wife.  
……………………

A week later

DEAN  
I woke up on the floor of my old room, surrounded by beer bottles. My head was thumping, I smelled like a brewery and my tongue and teeth were decidedly furry. I wasn’t fit for purpose, but I didn’t care.  
Lying there I put my arm across my eyes, not wanting to see anything, wishing I could crawl back into a bottle and welcome sweet oblivion for a few more hours.  
I didn’t want to think or feel or remember that last day in the woods. I didn’t want to remember Rowena’s explaining what it meant finding Siobhan’s grace. I didn’t want to remember the tears that fell from Eileen’s eyes. I didn’t want to remember the look on Cas’s face.  
And I certainly didn’t want to remember that it had been week since Cas and I had even spoken to each other.  
Unbidden the memories of that day came tumbling through my mind. Sam had caught me before I fell. Eileen had knelt beside Cas and held him.  
Naomi had appeared and listened grim faced as Rowena explained what happened. Naomi had summoned the whole of Heaven to scour for Siobhan but even they had admitted defeat after a few days.  
We still couldn’t figure out how Siobhan had been killed, or how her body was vaporised with her grace extracted. But Rowena and Naomi were working on it, joined together by a common friendship for Siobhan. The Angels and demons owed Siobhan their lives and apparently, they had not forgotten.  
But here we were a week later and were still no nearer an answer. Cas was working with the Angels looking for answers, but I think he was just using it as an excuse not to come home. He blamed me for not waiting for him. Why wouldn’t he, I blamed myself. Everything felt wrong that day and I didn’t listen to my instincts.  
I had prayed to Jack until I was hoarse, but he never heard me. Jack had told us he would be out of touch for about a year.  
The straw that broke the camel’s back was Sam suggesting that maybe a funeral was in order. I lashed out at him, cursing and swearing and even taking a swing at him before I found a bottle of whiskey and locked myself in my old room. I couldn’t sleep in our bed. Not without Siobhan and Cas.  
How had this happened? Siobhan was trained. Siobhan was a half Angel for crying out loud. How did they get the drop on her?  
The questions and the what ifs going around my head were driving me crazy. I felt I was losing my mind…………oh god help me……….someone please help me……

CASTIEL  
“WELL CHECK IT AGAIN” I screamed at the Angel in front of me  
“Yes Castiel” he stammered before leaving my office.  
Dammit, nobody was having any luck. I hadn’t stopped for a minute, wanting to turn over every stone and leaf, I wanted nothing left to chance.  
A knock at the door had me looking up to find Naomi standing there.  
“Are you alright Castiel? You know we are all doing everything we can for you and Dean” Naomi said  
I looked at her and I knew she was right. I also knew I was being completely unreasonable. None of the Angels including Naomi had stopped for a minute trying to find answers. But if I didn’t keep busy, I would lose my mind.  
“I know Naomi” I said “I promise I will go apologise to him the first chance I get. We’re just not finding anything. How can that be? Neither us nor Rowena’s people, or her magic can find out what happened. I just……. I”  
In my head I could hear Dean, he was praying, he was crying out for help. I could hear his anguish and his shame, and his despair and I felt ashamed. I had completely failed him when he needed me most.  
“I have to go” I said to Naomi.  
………………………………………..

I found Dean in his old room curled up in a foetal position crying like he would never stop.  
I bent down and pulled him into my arms. “I got you Dean. I’m so sorry”  
Dean seemed to cry harder. He tried to speak but no words came out.  
“Shush Dean, stop, let it out” I said as the tears finally started to fall from my own eyes.  
Dean held onto me tighter and I finally let my own dam break over and we held each other as we cried for the woman who we both loved.

DEAN  
Cas and I are lying side by side with our arms around each other on the floor of my old room. I was completely spent. And yet I felt I wasn’t done, that all it would take is for a blink and tears would fall again. That might also have to do with having my husband’s arms around me for the first time in a week. I had missed him so damn much.  
“Cas” my voice sounding raspy “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for losing her”  
Cas leaned away from me and looked at me in surprise “What are you talking about Dean? This wasn’t your fault……………please don’t think that this was……….”  
He broke off and eyes me suspiciously “Dammit Dean please don’t tell me you thought I was blaming you……….. I don’t……..i would never………”  
“Cas stop please, you wouldn’t look at me, you wouldn’t talk to me, I just……..”  
“Dean, don’t you realise, this could easily have been you, or Sam or Eileen” Cas said “I just need to find out what happened to her. We both do, or we’ll go mad”  
“I know. That day, it doesn’t make sense. It just doesn’t” I said sitting up and leaning my back against the end of the bed. Cas sat up as well and faced me.  
Leaning forward he grabbed handfuls of my t-shirt and said “We will find out what happened to her, but we are not losing ourselves in the process. We need each other to get through this”  
“I know Cas” I said before he leaned in and kissed me roughly.  
I returned the kiss briefly before I stopped and said “Cas don’t”  
He looked at me in surprise “What”  
“Cas, look at me, I’m disgusting, I smell bad, I need a shower, wash my teeth” I said  
“I don’t fucking care” Cas said  
It was my turn to be shocked. Cas didn’t curse.  
He grabbed me again and kissed me thoroughly. My t-shirt was pulled over my head and Cas grabbed at the belt on my jeans. All the while he’s kissing me and touching me. I can’t fight him, and I surrender to his lovemaking. When he had me completely naked, he worked his way from the top of my body, downwards, making love to me until I exploded in ecstasy. Only then did he remove his clothes. For the next while we lost ourselves in each other, but still so aware that something was missing.

SAM  
Sitting at the map table with a tumbler of Scotch in my hand, I rerun that day when everything had gone wrong.  
Before that, Eileen and I had the most amazing vacation. We made love every day, sometimes more, we swam, and ate and drank and laughed. It had been perfect. He looked forward to every day with her. He loved being with Dean and Cas and Siobhan too. Life was damn near perfect. Until that day. What the hell happened?  
Hearing footsteps he looked up to see Eileen coming towards him. Her eyes were rimmed red as were his, he knew. His heart hurt for himself and for Eileen but more so for Dean and Cas. He felt useless to help them. There was nothing for them to investigate. No clues, no leads, no………………body. Nothing.  
He held out his hand and when she took it, he pulled her into his lap and hugged her tight. He then leaned her back so she could read his lips. “I love you so damn much, you know that”  
Eileen nodded her head at him and smiled.  
“I hate what’s happened. I miss Siobhan so damn much but…….. but I………” I couldn’t finish  
“What Sam, what is it?” Eileen signed at me  
I closed my eyes and tears ran down my face. I opened them again and said” I’m just so glad it wasn’t you”  
Eileen looked at me sadly and said, “I know what you mean” and hugged me again.

CASTIEL  
When Dean went off to have a shower, I made my way to our room. I had a need to be in the last place where all three of us were together.  
Standing in the open doorway, I looked at the bed which was still rumpled from our love making the morning she…………  
I went over to sit on the bed. I could smell Siobhan’s perfume on the sheets, and I picked up the sheets and held them to my face. The memories of that morning came back to me. Siobhan and I making love while Dean slept beside us. Dean stirring awake while Siobhan and I are chatting quietly. Dean taking Siobhan from behind while I watched and then joined in. It was beautiful and easy, and erotic and sensual and always amazing with the two of them. The sheets were wet when I took them away from my face.  
I turned to see Dean looking in from the doorway. He was dressed in his usual jeans, t-shirt, flannel shirt and boots.  
“C’mon Cas” he said “We have work to do”

DEAN  
Cas and I walked out towards the research room. I squeezed his hand once and then made my way over to Sam. He looked up at me warily. I pulled him out of the chair and pulled him into an embrace.  
“I’m so sorry Sammy” I said feeling ashamed of my actions.  
Sam squeezed me tight and said “No you have nothing to apologise for. I would have probably reacted the same way if our positions were reversed”  
He leaned back to look at me “I’m sorry Dean”  
“Don’t be” I said “Its time to get everyone together. Pool what we know and make a plan. I need to find out what happened. Until then, I can’t bury her, you understand Sammy?”  
Sam looked at me and then over at Cas “I understand”

SAM  
We called a meeting in the bunker. Including myself, Eileen, Cas and Dean, we had Rowena and Naomi.  
We were all siting around the map table. Dean had asked me to run the meeting. He just wanted to listen.  
“Ok everyone. We are going to go over everything about that day. First to see if we were being targeted, secondly to see if it could have been prevented and thirdly to make damn sure it doesn’t happen again.  
So, first why were we out in the woods? Dean that’s for you” I said

DEAN  
I glanced up once and then dropped my eyes to the table. “It was our anniversary……….our…………six month anniversary” I swallowed hard then got myself together.  
“Siobhan had gone into town to get groceries for dinner that night” I continued  
“Just before she got back, I got a call from Harry Murdoch, he’s a Hunter” I said for the benefit of Naomi and Rowena “He was tracking a vampire nest and said they were heading this way. He asked for me to look out for them, but he and another hunter were going to try take care of them, they were just giving me the heads up that they might be in the area. Of course, I’m now realising that they never checked in. Dammit”  
“That’s ok Dean” Sam said “This is the reason we got together now. To see what we missed. None of us have been thinking straight. Ok, keeping going”  
“I was tracking them and then they seemed to stop about thirty miles away. As I said I thought Harry had handled it. It was the day Sam and Eileen got home from vacation that I saw the article in the paper that a man had died with his throat torn out. I called the local Sheriff and he said he wasn’t an animal attack.  
We decided to go looking for them. I called Cas but you couldn’t make it. Something happened in Heaven so Sam, Eileen, Siobhan and I said we would take care of it”  
“Cas what happened in Heaven” Sam asked  
“I had just got the call from Dean when……..Zadkiel came in to tell me the zahora was failing in the Kempa province…….”  
“The what” Sam asked  
“It’s a bit hard to explain. It’s cosmic energy that keeps Heaven being Heaven. It’s like an exterior barrier. Some of the changes to Heaven have not been plain sailing, we are getting there but……….”  
“But what” Sam asked  
“We had only finished that area a few days before. It was stable. We never found a reason for the failure” Cas said  
“That’s right” Naomi said “I kept a few Angels on it, while the others joined the search for Siobhan, and they fixed it relatively easy. Since then there has been no problems”  
There was silence for a minute after that.  
Sam cleared his throat, “Anything else?”  
I remembered something “Rowena, you called me, you wanted a hand with something. I told you I would call you after we came back”  
“Ach sure it means nothing now” Rowena said “Just some loose cannons. Small potatoes compared to…………..”  
“Rowena tell us. Nothing is too small to share.” Sam said  
“Well, it started a few months ago. Rumours and rumblings about a new game in town. Someone maybe trying to muscle in on my territory” Rowena said  
“I paid attention to it, but nothing really came of it. Until a week ago. A surge of power on a cosmic scale ……………oh God” Rowena trailed off  
“Cosmic power?” Sam asked  
“Dean, Cas you have to believe me, I thought this was a power play for hell. I didn’t think this was being directed at you. All the investigations I did, none of your names came up, nothing. If they had I would have told you”  
“We believe you Rowena” I said “I know you wouldn’t put Siobhan in danger”

CASTIEL  
“Rowena, do you know who it was, who the rumours were about” I asked  
“No, I haven’t found out yet. But I’m still looking” Rowena said  
“Who would have that kind of power?” I asked, “Another witch?”  
“There’s hardly any witches left and none that powerful” Rowena answered  
“What about Angels?” Sam asked  
“No, not unless it was a combined effort and Naomi and I would sense it. Jack took the Archangels with him, so it’s not them”  
“We’re getting nowhere” Dean burst out.  
I reached for his hand and squeezed but there was nothing I could say. I looked towards Sam hoping he had answers.

SAM  
I was trying not to let Dean’s outburst affect me, but I wanted to tear the world apart and make everything right for him, for him and Cas.  
“Ok, everyone gets a job. Naomi, I want you to get to the bottom of the breakdown of that……………..whatever it was in Heaven. The timing is a little perfect for my liking.  
Cas looked at me shocked “You think it was deliberate?”  
“I don’t know Cas, but we need to be sure” I answered him  
Naomi piped up “But if it was deliberate, then an Angel was responsible”  
“Shocking” Dean said sarcastically  
Ignoring Dean, I continued “Rowena, I want you to show everything you have to Dean and Cas. Maybe they can see something you can’t”  
“And Eileen and I are going to check out Harry and this other hunter. First to see if they are still alive and if they are, why they didn’t check in” I said  
“Everyone ok with the jobs you got” I asked  
Five heads nodded solemnly back at me.

DEAN  
“Ah good old hell, how I’ve missed you” was my greeting when we materialised in the corridor outside Rowena’s throne room.  
Entering the throne room, Rowena clapped her hands and three demons appeared before her. “Get me all the research we have been gathering for the last five months” she commanded, and the demons ran to do her bidding.  
“Are you hungry, lads?” Rowena asked us  
“No” I said, but Cas interrupted “Yes, thank you, Dean needs to eat. You do” he said when he saw me looking at him.  
“You can eat and work at the same time. I’ve seen you do it” Cas said  
“I can drink and work at the same time as well, you know” I growled. I knew I was being a grouch, but I couldn’t help myself.  
But Cas smiled at me and said “Of course you can…………..after you eat”

SAM  
I had gotten Harry’s number from Dean but my fourth attempt to reach him was still going to voicemail. We didn’t know the name of the other hunter that was supposed to be hunting with him.  
Eileen and I started ringing around to other hunters to see if anyone had seen Harry, but we weren’t having much luck. I even rang local police stations in the towns that Harry was chasing the nest of vampires through, to see if any bodies had turned up but again no luck. It was very frustrating.  
I was running out of ideas when I got a call from a hunter, I’d never met.  
“Hey is this Sam Winchester?” a voice said when I answered the phone  
“Yes, who is this?” “I asked.  
“Name’s Aaron” he replied “I got your number from Cezar down in New Mexico. Said you’ve been asking about a Harry Murdoch”  
“Yeah that’s right. Thanks for calling” I said “He contacted my brother Dean last week about a vampire nest he was tracking. We haven’t heard from him since and we are kind of worried about him. Have you heard from him?  
“Yeah well about that, look Harry’s dead” Aaron said  
“What!” Dammit. Look are you sure?” I asked “I’m sorry we were too late. Did somebody find the body?”  
“No Sam, you’re not understanding me. Harry died four months ago. Werewolf got him. I don’t know who contacted your brother, but it wasn’t Harry” Aaron said

NAOMI  
Sitting before me, Zadkiel looked extremely puzzled at my questions.  
“Naomi, the breakdown was just a random event, surely. The changes we are making to Heaven well they are bound to be setbacks. What makes you think that the breakdown was deliberate?”  
“I have my reasons. Now please answer my question. Tell me what happened from the moment you arrived for your duty shift on the day of the breakdown. And leave nothing out” I asked him  
“Alright. When I arrived for duty Turiel, Yomiel and Veheul were already there. The work was going well” Zadkiel answered but then paused and tilted his head slightly.  
“What is it” I asked  
“Well as I was saying, the work was going well. There was no indication that there were any problems. No misalignments, no drop in power, no nothing. Until……………….there was” Zadkiel shrugged his shoulders,  
“The breakdown happened out of nowhere. One minute everything was alright, the next the zahora was on the verge of collapse in that section. Turiel asked me to get Castiel, saying he would be the only one able to fix it. So, I did”  
“Why get Castiel? Turiel knows the work as well as Castiel does. As well as I do” I said  
“Naomi, Turiel is my superior, I did what he asked. But now that you say it, I do remember that Yomiel and Veheul were puzzled by that request as well” he answered.  
“Where’s Turiel now?” I asked  
“As far as I know, he’s on duty” Zadkiel said

DEAN  
Cas got his way in making me eat, but the fact that Rowena ordered in the best Philly steak sandwich made it no contest. But he was right, I felt better, my head clearer.  
Which was a good thing, in trying to wade through the tons of information that Rowena’s demons collected. Had to hand it to them, you want to know something about anything, send a demon.  
What we could gather was that about five months ago, someone or several someone’s were buying up spells, powerful spells, asking about the Book of the Damned, looking for Angel grace etc. They never got a name though.  
“It was like, just when we thought we had something concrete, it disappeared” Rowena said “Several demons loyal to me disappeared, a couple that worked closely with me. That made me more suspicious. I checked that the book was still here, and it was. But I moved it after that, just in case”  
“Is it possible that someone copied any of the spells from the book” Cas asked  
“No” Rowena answered but there was doubt on her face  
“Rowena, this is important. Is there a way to find out? I asked  
“Yes, there is” she answered

SAM  
I sat there stunned after I hung up with Aaron. The implications of what he told me were rolling around in my head. Eileen who had been watching my side of the conversation now waved her arms and me to get my attention.  
“Sam” she signed “What is it?”, so I told her.  
Eileen after sitting in silence for a minute asked “Can we track the phone call to Dean?  
“Let’s find out” I said.

NAOMI  
Instead of sending someone to check on Turiel, I went myself. I had an uneasy feeling that I didn’t like. This whole business, I didn’t like. When I let myself think about Siobhan, I felt extremely uncomfortable. I don’t know why. I didn’t understand this……………………feeling. This sensation………this……..emotion. Is that what this is, an emotion? I wasn’t sure and I couldn’t ask Castiel. He was………..devastated.  
I arrived at the room from where the zahora was managed. Inside I found Yomiel and Veheul but no Turiel.  
“Where’s Turiel? I asked them  
“I don’t know Naomi” Yomiel replied “He didn’t show up for duty today. I thought you might have assigned him elsewhere”  
A feeling I recognized as dread assaulted me “Find him. Find him now”

DEAN  
Cas and I stood to one side as Rowena performed a spell on the Book of the Damned to see if any of its spells had been copied.  
Standing side my side, I intertwined my fingers with his, just to keep me grounded. I knew what Rowena was going to find out. I knew down in my bones. Just as I knew something wasn’t right in the woods that fateful day. Why didn’t I listen to my gut? Why was I so ready to ignore something that had kept me alive this long? Over confidence perhaps? All I know is that I ignored it and Siobhan died. Cas might not blame me, but I did. All I could do now was get us answers so we could grieve.  
Rowena finished the spell with a flourish and a green mist descended on the book, making it shimmer.  
Rowena’s gasp confirmed what I thought. “Which spells were copied Rowena?” I asked  
Looking at us in horror she said “All of them”

CASTIEL  
We arranged to meet back at the bunker. Sam, Eileen, Rowena, Naomi, Dean and I stood around the map table, after telling each other what we found out.  
I couldn’t believe what Naomi told me. “Turiel is missing” I said “are you sure”  
“Yes Castiel, I’m sorry” Naomi replied “He’s not in Heaven and we have tried to find him on Earth but no luck. We checked his workstation. He deliberately altered the zahora so that it would fail right at that moment”  
“This was a distraction for you Cas” Dean said slamming his hand down on the table “Dammit but why? Why kill Siobhan, what’s the motive? Because she saved the fucking world? It makes no sense”  
“The spell to kill her could have come from the book, but I don’t remember anything like that in there. I will have to go back to check” Rowena said looking upset.  
I looked around the table at everyone, “So what we have found out is, a stranger calls Dean pretending to be this Harry guy to keep us on the look out for a vampire nest heading our way. It looks like they killed a local, just to lure us out into the woods, then using a spell from the Book of the Damned, which was copied in Hell, they killed Siobhan, while keeping me distracted in Heaven. Have I missed anything? Because it looks to me like Angels and demons conspired to kill Siobhan” I broke off  
Everyone looked broken and the fact that someone went to this much trouble to get rid of Siobhan begged the question why.

………………………………………………………………..

THREE WEEKS LATER  
DEAN  
Cas and I are in bed in my old room. We still haven’t moved back into the room we shared with Siobhan. Neither of us can face it.  
Lying on Cas’s chest with his arms around me, I know that he is building up to say something, something I won’t like.  
“Spit it out Cas. I can hear the wheels turning in your head” I told him  
Leaving out a sigh he spoke “Its time Dean”  
I tensed in his arms. There was only one thing he could be talking about. Siobhan’s funeral.  
I knew he was right. It had been a month since we lost her, and in that time we had turned up nothing new, except that a combination of spells in the Book of the Damned could have been used to kill her. Rowena was distraught telling us that bit of news. I rolled over onto my back, throwing my arm across my eyes.  
“I know, Cas. You’re right. Its time”

CASTIEL  
The sun is setting on the island off the coast of Thailand.  
On the spot where we were married stands a wooden pyre that Sam, Eileen, Dean and I made for Siobhan. We had no body to burn, of course.  
We were surrounded by friends, Jody, Donna, Kaia, Claire and Alex. Cezar and Jessie. Garth and Bess, having left the kids with relatives were there as well as some other hunter friends of Sam and Dean’s. A lot of angels were there to pay their respects, having asked Naomi’s permission. And Rowena arrived by herself.  
I had transported everyone out myself. It kept me busy, kept me from………thinking.  
“Dean, do you want to say anything” I asked  
Dean shook his head “I can’t. I can’t. Cas I’m sorry”  
“It’s alright Dean. I understand” I said, and I did.  
I stepped forward.  
“Thank you all for coming. I know that Siobhan would be gratified for you being here. She cared for you all so much. Siobhan would entertain this family every night with a story about one of you. Of conversations she had with you and the exploits you got up. Well, you know who you are”  
Speaking to the Angels I said “My brothers and sisters, Siobhan asked about you often, asked about the work you were helping Jack do and was pleased by what she heard”  
Turning to the girls I said “Siobhan loved being with you so much. Before Eileen joined us, she was always complaining of being outnumbered but yet, she used to hold her own and won a lot of the arguments”  
That earned a quiet laugh from the crowd.  
“The time she spent with you girls she loved because she said, she wasn’t a wife, or a Prophet or a Conduit she was just a girl among friends”  
“Cezar, Jessie, Garth, Bess you stood witness to our wedding and rejoiced with us here. But it didn’t stop there, did it. You kept in touch, with phone calls and pictures exchanges. Nights outs and nights in, you have been our friends and we love you for it.  
“Rowena, Naomi you allowed Siobhan into your lives and she was the richer for it. She spoke of you often and loved you both. Thank you”  
I turned to look at Sam. Tears were streaming down his face and when he saw me looking at him his face crumpled a bit.  
“There’s a story that Siobhan I know hasn’t told anyone, not because she’s ashamed of it but to spare me.  
When Siobhan first came to us, to say she was overwhelmed was an understatement. She was thrust into this world where the hits kept on coming and unfortunately, I was one of those hits. I pushed Siobhan away several times, fool that I was”  
I could see several people looking surprised at that.  
“The person she turned to was Sam. Sam who trained her in spells and hunting and lore. He was the one when Dean and I were caught up in our own hurt, was the rock on which she balanced this new world. You were her anchor Sam. She loved you so much, and she cherished your days out together”  
Sam nodded jerkily at me and Eileen wrapped her arms around him and held him while he cried.  
I reached out for Dean and he clasped my hand tightly. I knew it was taking some effort for him to look at me, but he did.  
I spoke to our friends, but I never took my eyes off of Dean  
“When Siobhan realised that Dean and I had feelings for each other, she left us, so we could have a chance to be happy, not wanting to interfere thinking there was no other way around it. But there was a way and when we approached her about it, she didn’t reach for a gun, which she rightly could have”  
Dean laughed quietly,  
“She took a chance on us. And you my friends, didn’t scorn us, didn’t try talk us out of it, you embraced us and our unusual relationship and stayed by our side every step of the way.  
I looked out at them then,  
“Thank you for that and thank you for being our friends.  
Siobhan I will miss you until the end of my existence. I love you my wife”  
Sam handed Dean a flaming torch, and with my hand on his we walked to the pyre and lit it together.  
I barely heard Dean as he whispered “I love you Siobhan, I’m so sorry”  
……………………………………………………….

SIOBHAN Day 1  
I landed hard on my knees, steadying myself while I caught my breath, the pain that lanced through me had me screaming out loud. I could see a blue light shooting out of my body, while it felt my very essence was being sucked from my core. It no sooner started when it was over. Panting on my hands and knees a pair of boots appeared on the ground before me. I looked up to see the butt of a gun coming towards my face and a man’s voice saying “Fucking Angels” before blackness overtook me.

To be continued


	2. Summer of Loss part 2

**Summer of Loss (Part 2)**

**Day 1**

The leader watched as they carried in the angel and threw her on the floor in front of him. Long brown hair covered her face.

“What this?” he asked the two men that brought her in.

“She appeared out of nowhere Boss. One minute we were on patrol, next minute she appeared at our feet, her grace deserting her body”

“So why have you brought her to me. Dispose of it” he said

“Because she’s not dead, Boss” the man replied

“What, how is that possible? Usually when they fall, the grace leaves them all at once, they don’t survive” the leader said and despite himself was intrigued and bent down to take the hair from her face.

Wow he thought, she’s a looker. Pity she’s an angel though.

“Well it looks like we got an angel to interrogate. Find somewhere to stash her, until she regains consciousness. Search her, make sure she has no weapons on her” the leader told them

“Oh boy, I’m going to have fun searching her” the man said to his friend.

That stopped the boss man cold. He was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a deviant and wouldn’t tolerate it from his men.

“What did you say?” He asked the man

“Nothing Boss. I was only messing” the man replied nervously. The boss man had a notorious temper, and he did not want to be on the receiving end of it.

“Good. Get Catherine and she will do the search and if I find out different, heads will roll, you hear me” the boss man said

“Yes boss, anything you say” both men said picking the angel up off the floor.

…………………………………………….

The woman named Catherine entered the bedroom and found the angel lying on the bed. She was dressed in jeans, a white shirt and a black jacket that came past her hips. On her feet she had the nicest pair of boots, she had seen in a long time. Another thing she noticed was how clean she was. Her nails were manicured for crying out loud. It had been years since she saw anyone with a manicure. Angels included.

She quickly patted her down and found a slim rectangle looking device. It was all black, no lights or symbols on it, but it looked electronic, like one of those new gadgets that were coming on the market before the end of the world started.

She would give it to Stephen. He could work his way around anything electronic. The men who found her had taken a gun and machete off of her unconscious body, but she found a dagger, and holy water in the inside pocket of the jacket. What was with the holy water?

The only piece of jewellery the angel was wearing was a three banded ring on the ring finger of her left hand. She tried to pry it off her finger, but it wouldn’t budge. She’d get it off later, right now she wanted to get the device to Stephen.

………………………………………………………….

When Catherine had come in and said “Present for you Stephen”, he thought the generator or a flashlight had stopped working, but no, the present turned out to be the best thing he had seen in years and the best challenge.

“My talents are so wasted in this world” he mused to himself.

Forty-five minutes later, he had unlocked the device and yes, it was a phone. He couldn’t wait to discover its secrets but the photo on the home screen stopped him in his tracks “What the hell”.

………………………………………………………..

“Is it true?

I looked up to see my friend bursting through the door of the room. “Is what true?” I asked him, knowing full well what he was asking.

“Did an angel fall? And their alive? How is that possible?” he asked

“Why, you happy to see one of your sisters again?” I asked knowing I sounded slightly bitter

“That’s not fair. I thought they were all dead. It has been five years since…………”

“Since the fall you mean” I said “Look I promise, you can be there when we question her”

I couldn’t help noticing the twitch on his face when I mentioned questioning her. “Is that going to be a problem?” I asked

I was greeted by silence.

………………………………………………………………..

“Hey boss, you got a second”

I looked up to see Stephen coming towards me.

“For you always” I said, “Any luck with that device we found?”

“Well that’s why I’m here. The device is actually a phone. But not just a phone, it’s like a minicomputer.

Anyway look, is there something you’re not telling me?” Stephen asked

“No not that I know of” I said “Why?”

“Well because I found these on the phone” Stephen answered

Stephen handed me the phone and started scrolling through photos. Lots and lots of photos. Of familiar faces in unfamiliar settings “What the hell”

…………………………………………………………………

Sitting at a desk in a room he had designated his office, he can’t take his eyes off of the photos. There had to be hundreds of photos on this device. Photos of people he thought of long gone. Photos of people he’s never met. And according to the time stamp the most recent photos are what looks like a wedding. A wedding that took place only six months ago with again faces so familiar and not so familiar, with their new angel guest star in prominent place.

The problem he was having was who she seemed to have married. That blew him away. And could be a very fucking big problem for him.

A knock at the door interrupted my scrolling. I turned the device over before answering.

“Come in” I called

I looked up to see Catherine coming through the door.

“Well is she awake yet?” I asked

“She’s going in and out of it. She also puked all over the bloody place. She might not have died straight away but it doesn’t mean she won’t. We know first-hand, losing their grace is a son of a bitch.” Catherine replied “And usually deadly. She must be strong.”

“Well I need her to answer some questions. Important questions so Catherine, I want you to nurse her back to health like she’s the bloody Queen of Sheba, you hear me” I said making my intentions known.

“Yes Boss, she will get the best health care this side of the Missouri” and she turned on her heel and left the room.

I picked up the phone again and scrolled through the photos. One of them stopped me cold.

There was the angel dressed in what could only be a wedding dress, smiling into the camera with her arms wrapped around…………

“Sammy”

**Day 7**

**SIOBHAN**

Waking up I squinted into the darkness of the room. I was disoriented but I already knew that I didn’t know this place. Lying there trying to get my bearings, I knew a few things. One, I was in a strange bed. Two, I was semi naked under the covers. Three, I wasn’t alone in the room. I could hear someone breathing.

“I know you’re awake” a woman’s voice said “But are you awake, awake”

I considered not answering but I thought what harm could there be and anyway I needed answers. A lot of answers.

“Why, has my wakefulness been in question in the past?” I asked

“Well considering you’ve been out of it for the better part of a week I would have to say yeah” the voice said derisively

That shocked me “A week?” I asked sitting up on the bed and then immediately regretting it. “Ugh” I groaned, my stomach and my head were swirling. “What the hell”

“Don’t you dare get sick. I’m not changing the sheets again” the voice said

“Again? I asked

“Jeez some Angel you are. Is there anything you remember?” she asked scornfully

I have no idea who this woman was, but she did not like me. I found it hard to concentrate. I didn’t feel like me. It was like something was missing. My head was pounding, and my stomach was nauseous.

“What did you do to me?” I asked

“Nothing that you didn’t deserve, invading our territory, angel. But you got yours didn’t you. You got what was coming to you. Enjoy the interrogation, angel. The boss man really likes pulling feathers” she laughed before opening a door and slamming it shut behind her. The turn of the lock made my blood run cold. Where the fuck was I?

Giving my head and stomach a chance to settle down, I gingerly put my feet on the floor. Looking down, I realised all I was wearing was a t-shirt and underwear. Well that’s just great.

Looking around I spotted my clothes hanging on the back of a chair. I also saw a makeshift bathroom. Thank god.

I used the bathroom first, then after splashing cold water on my face, I stared at myself in the mirror. Was it just my imagination or did I look slightly green?

I had a lovely bump on my forehead which would explain the two black eyes. Yeah looking good Siobhan. Ugh

What the hell was going on with my stomach. I rubbed my hand across it, and it felt slightly swollen and hard. What the hell did they do to me?

I remembered……………..i remembered being pushed, falling, boots, looking up…………a gun, I was hit with the butt of the gun.

But I shouldn’t really be feeling it. Did something else happen?

Making my way back into the bedroom I searched my clothes and found my weapons and my phone were gone. Dammit.

Ok first things first. I need to get dressed. No way I’m letting my captors see me like this, no matter what might have happened while I was unconscious. I shuddered thinking about it.

Dressing quickly, my mind turned to Dean and Cas. Were they looking for me, did they get attacked too, were they here somewhere as well or were they………………..NO not going there. They are out there looking for you Siobhan. All you need to do is stay alive until they find you. That is your only job.

The door to the room opened behind me “Good you’re dressed. Boss is really eager to meet you” the woman said, and her smile sent cold shivers down my spine.

She grabbed me by the arm and said “This way. And don’t even think about trying anything funny”

Her grip on my arm was punishing. And it hurt a lot. Like hurt more than I should be able to feel. That scared me, because if there was torture to go with this interrogation, it was going to be bad, hurt a lot bad.

When we left the room we were in, I found myself in a tent like structure. Exiting that I looked back and thought, yes, it is a tent. I looked around. We were outside in a muddy field with tents propped up in a circle. We made our way to another solid looking structure. Like a small log cabin.

Pushing me through the door I tripped and went down on my knees.

“Hey, there’s no need for that” a voice said, and a man knelt down beside me and held my arm to help me up. I looked up and my heart soared “CAS, thank god” and I threw my arms around him and kissed his cheek. Over his shoulder I saw another beautiful sight. “DEAN you found me. What happened, what…………………..”

Cas took my arms from around his neck and looked at me so strangely. I gasped when I looked at him.

A vivid scar ran down his left cheek. “Cas what happened your face? Who did this?”

A bang startled me into silence. I watched in horror as Dean looked at me with eyes I’ve never seen and said, “Lady shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down”.

**CASTIEL AU**

I winced watching Catherine pushing the angel to the ground like that. I couldn’t help myself and ran to help her up. Her gasp and saying my name surprised the hell out of me. Though it really shouldn’t have. Dean had showed me some of the photos.

But when she threw her arms around me and kissed my cheek, a sensation of not wanting to let go overwhelmed me. Not because she was a woman, but because no one had ever done it before.

**DEAN AU**

I watched as the angel looked startled at my outburst. What happened just confirmed what Stephen and he had discussed. The pictures on her phone, the people looking just like him and Castiel, Sammy and a few others. She was from another universe, another reality. Well at least that was something, at least that meant that more angels were not about to fall. But he had to be sure. He had to get whatever information he could.

The one thing that did surprise him was from the pictures in the phone, he was sure that it was another Dean Winchester she was married but judging from her reaction to Cas, it looks like its him she’s married to. Good for Cas. The other Dean must have been the best man. He felt a twinge of longing way down deep, but he didn’t acknowledge it. He never did.

He stepped towards her now as she lowered herself into the chair in the middle of the room, looking at him warily. Cas move back to one side beside Stephen, who had asked to be here, Catherine and Morgan, one of the men who had found her were stationed at the door.

“You’re not Dean Winchester” she asked

“Actually, I am, I’m just not your Dean Winchester” I responded

At her puzzled look, I answered “It looks like you have fallen into another universe honey, where everything looks the same but isn’t”

“That’s impossible” she retorted

“Actually, it is” Stephen said before I could “There’s actually an infinite number of universes, all lying parallel to each other………

He broke off when he saw me staring at him “Sorry Boss”

“That’s not what I meant” the angel continued “I know there are other universes out there. I just mean Chuck destroyed them all except our universe before we stopped him”

“Chuck. Who’s Chuck?” I asked

She stared at me for a moment before she answered “God”

I couldn’t help the snort that came from me “God. You stopped God”

“Actually, I did. Well it was a team effort. We managed to transfer his powers to someone else. Rendering Chuck useless and making Jack the new God”

“Who’s Jack” I asked

The angel seemed to fold in on herself and her face drained of even more colour.

“Look, I have no problem answering your questions but is there any chance of a super-duper pain killer because I can’t concentrate with this headache” the angel said

I nodded to Catherine to get the painkiller and she left.

The angel looked towards Cas “Your human, aren’t you?”

Cas looked towards me and I nodded at him “Yes, how did you know?”

“Your scar” she answered “Angels don’t have scars”

“You’re human too by the way” I told her

At her puzzled look I said “There are no more angels here, no grace, no nothing. When you fell into this world, your grace left you, and you are now stuck in that meat suit you borrowed”

“How did that happen?” she asked

“Honey, if you don’t mind, we’ll ask the questions” I retorted “Starting with this, what’s your name?

She tilted her chin towards me a little defiantly and answered “Siobhan Winchester”

**SIOBHAN**

I was glad to see I could shock this Dean. His attitude was starting to get on my nerves. I managed to get some information out of them, even while they were asking me questions. I didn’t mind answering, they were hardly state secrets. But now the headache was getting worse and I could barely concentrate.

Well at least I now knew why I felt like crap. I was human again. And my grace leaving me like that was probably responsible for the dodgy stomach. Well that’s just great.

The woman came back with a couple of tablets and a glass of water.

“Thank you” I said when she handed them to me, and I swallowed them gratefully.

“Sure honey just call me Florence Nightingale” she said laughing and resumed her post.

Dean was regarding me warily and then he spoke “I thought you might have been married to a version of Castiel, judging by the reception you gave him”

I thought “Oh Yes, I’m going to enjoy this” “I am married to Cas. My version of Cas anyway”

I saw this Cas looking at me in surprise.

“But you said your name is Winchester” Dean said

“Yes, it is” I said

“How would your name be Winchester if you are married to Castiel. You are an angel also, well you used to be?” Dean asked

I was about to answer him and shove it in his face. I was good at body language and I knew this Cas and Dean were not together. But I couldn’t. Firstly, because I knew this Dean wouldn’t like it, and secondly, I needed them to survive.

“I’ll answer your questions if you clear the room of everyone but you and Cas” I said

“Hah yeah right lady, like that’s going to happen” the man behind me said

I looked up at Dean. “As you say, I’m not an angel anymore. I’m no danger to you. But some information, I’m not comfortable giving to a large audience. You’ll understand when you hear it”

Dean regarded me for a moment and then nodded to the two men and the woman to leave.

“Boss are you sure” the woman asked

“Yes, wait outside” he said

**DEAN AU**

When the room was cleared of everyone except me, Cas and the angel, I leaned back against the desk.

“Ok, I’m listening. How is your name Winchester? I asked. I was genuinely curious.

“Because I’m married to my Dean Winchester” she answered.

I blinked in surprise “Hold up, you just said you were married to your Cas”

“I am” she said

“Lady you are not making a whole lot of sense” I said “And I don’t have a lot of patience”

“Do you have my phone?” she asked “I can show you”

“I’ve seen your phone; I’ve seen the pictures. The wedding pictures” I said

“Well if you saw them, the first picture is of Dean, Cas and me on our wedding day” she said

“Your wedding day” I asked getting more confused

“Ok let me be plain. Six months ago, I married my Dean and my Castiel. Both of them together” she said

I am not often struck speechless but today I was.

“Hold on, you married both of them” I asked

“Yes” she answered

“So, what they like what, share you?” I asked

“Yes, and more” she retorted

“What do you mean more?” I asked

“Dean I know you are not that dense. I married Dean and Cas, Cas married me and Dean and Dean married me and Cas. They are not sharing me. We are married to each other including my Dean and my Cas. And both me and my Cas took Winchester as our married name” she replied stunning me into silence.

**SIOBHAN**

I watched as this Dean and Cas absorbed the little bombshell I laid at their feet. And judging by the looks on their faces, a bombshell is right. They both looked stunned.

Both of them glanced once at each other before turning away quickly. It would have been funny if I wasn’t feeling absolutely wretched.

I rubbed my hand across my forehead to try relieve some of the pain, forgetting about the bump I had there and caused myself more pain. Dammit, that hurts.

I looked up to see Dean taking out my phone out of his pocket. He opened it and started scrolling through the photos again.

I drank the remaining water in the cup while I waited. I really didn’t feel well. The painkillers were taking their sweet time kicking in.

The room tilted on its axis and I looked towards Cas and I tried to speak. The last thing I remember is trying to say Cas’s name before blackness overtook me again.

**CASTIEL AU**

I could barely breathe after Siobhan finished explaining her unusual marriage. Was it the truth? But why would she lie. Her initial reaction to him and Dean seemed genuine. The photos on that device, actually the device itself couldn’t be faked. They had nothing like it here. I looked at Dean at the same time he looked at me, but I glanced away quickly. I couldn’t think about that here. Not in front of him.

I looked at Siobhan, an unusual name for an angel, and she was looking worse before my eyes. Her face was so pale, she was practically translucent, which made her injuries and black eyes stand out even more. She turned to speak to me, but nothing came out. I managed to reach her when she started sliding off the chair and caught her before she hit the ground.

Holding her in my arms, I stared into her face and felt strangely protective of her. Maybe because she was married to a version of me in her world, I don’t know. Or maybe because in her world, the Castiel there got everything that he would never get here, and he wanted to get her back to him somehow. At least he would know he was happy in at least one universe.

I looked up at Dean, who had come around the table to us “Dammit Dean when is Doc coming back to camp”

“Not for another couple of days, he’s helping out over in Harrisonville” Dean replied

“Let me take her back to her room. She’s still very sick Dean”

Dean nodded.

I picked her up and carried her out of the room. The look of surprise and the smirk that crossed Catherine’s face when she saw the unconscious Siobhan in my arms made me sick to my stomach.

“Sorry to burst your bubble, Catherine, she’s sick, not tortured” I told her

Her face turned ugly and “Fuck you angel and fuck her. She’ll get hers”

**DEAN AU**

I watched as Cas left with Siobhan in his arms. There was no way she was faking it. She looked terrible. He had photographic evidence of what she usually looked like and it was a far cry from what she looked like now. But considering no other angels except Cas survived their grace leaving them, she was lucky to be alive.

The exchange between Cas and Catherine stopped his rambling thoughts.

“That’s enough Catherine. Get in here” I said suddenly furious

She came in and closed the door. “How many times have I told you, you don’t talk to Cas like that”

“I’m not sucking up to no angel. Just because you’ve made him your pet……..” she retorted

“Shut up Catherine” I interrupted her “You are on dangerous ground. Cas is my friend. You don’t like him fine. But don’t talk to him if you don’t like him. And the same goes for Siobhan. She’s co-operating. So just do as your told. No more no less”

“And if I don’t?” she asked with narrowed eyes

“Then you’re out of here” I said

Looking shocked she said, “You’d throw me out of camp over a couple of angels?”

“No Catherine. I’ll throw you out for disobeying my orders. You don’t like them, you can leave”

She stared at me with something akin to hatred, which stopped me cold. But then she turned on her heel and stalked out.

I’m going to have to watch her.

……………………………………………………………

Later, after doing his rounds around the camp, checking in with the sentries to see if there were any problems, he grabbed some food to bring back to his office. Usually Cas would join him, but there was no sign of him.

Sighing, he sat down at his desk with a plate of stew. Not able to stop himself, he took out Siobhan’s phone and brought up the photos again. He couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t get enough of the photos of Sammy. Sammy with Siobhan. Sammy with this other Dean, arms around each other laughing into the camera. Sammy with a beautiful dark-haired woman. Was he married? Have kids?

The other photo, he couldn’t get enough of was the photo of the other Dean and Cas. Standing with their arms around each other, grinning at each other like idjits. You couldn’t help but see they were crazy for each other. And they didn’t care who saw it. The pain in his chest took his breath away. Dammit, he swore he wouldn’t go there.

It was easier when Cas was around. He wondered where he was.

**CASTIEL AU**

I carried Siobhan back to her room. After laying her on the bed, I removed her boots and her jacket and put the covers over her. Her skin was clammy, and she looked like she was running a fever. Finding a clean rag and a small bowl, I went into the washroom and ran the cold water. Sitting on the bed, I dampened the cloth and patted her face with it. She didn’t stir. I was afraid she might die, and I hoped she wouldn’t. She fascinated me. Her story of her unusual marriage, her life in that other world, I was curious to learn all about it. What was her Castiel like, her Dean? How did they get together? I had so many questions. I pulled a chair over to the side of the bed and got comfortable.

**DEAN AU**

After asking one of the sentries had he seen Cas, he responded that Cas had not left Siobhan’s room after carrying her in. That’s what he was afraid of, Cas was getting invested. Even though Dean’s gut reaction was that she meant them no harm, he couldn’t rely on that entirely. He had been wrong before. And he didn’t want Cas hurt if they had to get rid of her.

He knocked once on the door and then let himself in. Siobhan was asleep on the bed and in a chair beside the bed was Cas. Sleeping.

Dean allowed himself one minute of staring at Cas while he slept. His face relaxed in sleep made him look impossibly young and impossibly beautiful. He ached to hold his face in his hands and just stare into his eyes. But it would never happen. Not for them. Not for him. Not here. It was enough to have Cas at his side as his friend. It was enough.

He left the room quietly, the occupants of the room never knowing he was there.

**SIOBHAN Day 9 AU**

I opened my eyes knowing that he wasn’t a terrible dream. I was still here. In an alternative universe.

The big difference was that my headache was gone, though my stomach still felt a bit dodgy. But I could manage that. The headache not so much.

“Hey, you’re awake. How do you feel?”

I turned my head to see Cas smiling down at me.

He was still a shock to see him as Cas but not my Cas. I had to hold myself back from reaching for him.

“I’m ok. The headache is finally gone. How long was I out this time? I asked

“Over 24 hours” Cas replied “You had a fever. I did my best to keep your temperature down. The fever finally broke during the night”

“You looked after me?” I asked

“Yes” he answered shyly

“Thank you, Cas. Thank you for looking after me” I told him

“Well, I want to make sure you get back to your Castiel. I can only imagine what he is going through without you right now” he said

A pain as swift and sharp as a knife cut through me. I missed them so much. My husbands.

“I think I know. Because I feel it too” I answered

Castiel nodded then asked “Are you hungry? You haven’t eaten in a week; you need to keep your strength up”

“My stomach is still a bit dodgy. Have you something light? I asked

“Yes, I’ll get something. I will be right back” Cas replied

After Cas left, I made my way to the bathroom. Washing myself at the sink I could see my bruises were in the colours of the rainbow phase. Lovely. I didn’t look green anymore, so that was something.

I washed myself as best I could and then returned to sit on the bed.

Cas returned with a glass of water and some dried biscuits.

“These should be ok with your stomach. You want to start light anyway, as you haven’t eaten in a while” Cas said

I ate a couple of the biscuits washed down with the water. They weren’t bad, bit bland but they seemed to settle my stomach some bit, so as far as I was concerned, they were the best thing since sliced bread.

“Thanks Cas” I said smiling at him

The door opened then, and there stood the woman who had escorted me yesterday.

“Look at you two being nice and friendly like. So sweet” she said with a nasty smile on her face. “Boss wants to see you both. Let’s go.

I looked at Cas and he said “C’mon it will be ok”

The woman snorted but said nothing. I stood up and left the room with Cas at me side. We made our way over to the log cabin again. This time there was lots of people milling around and they stopped to watch me. I was shocked at the open hostility on some of their faces. What had happened here? What did the angels do? I wanted to ask Cas, but I knew better than to ask in front of the woman. Maybe later.

We entered the cabin and this Dean was sitting behind his desk. He looked up as we entered.

“You can leave Catherine” he said

I felt the woman hesitate and then she looked at me coldly and left the room.

Dean looked at me for a moment before saying “You look better”

“I feel better” I replied.

“I have more questions” he said

“What do you want to know?” I asked

**DEAN AU**

I stared at Siobhan and all I wanted to ask was about Sammy and Castiel in her world, but I couldn’t. I was a soldier first and I needed intel.

“You said you defeated God. How did you do that? I asked

She looked at me for a second and then she asked “Can I ask, is there a version of me here?

Surprised at the question I answered “No, but all the angels died around five years ago. Maybe that Siobhan died as well”

Smiling Siobhan said “Or maybe she never left Ireland”

“What” I asked

“This isn’t a meat suit; I was born human. I was made into an angel. Well half angel. Which is probably what saved me when I was pushed into this world”

“Pushed………..wait, made an angel.” Cas asked

“Hold on, what has any of this got to do with defeating God” I asked

“Look it’s a long-convoluted story and I’m willing to tell you, if you are willing to listen” Siobhan said

I looked at Cas and he nodded eagerly at me. I smiled slightly at him.

Siobhan looked at the two of us before sighing and then she started her story.

“Two years ago, I left Ireland after my son was killed. He was 12. I moved to New York and worked there for 7 months. One night I was called by Heaven. That was the night I met my Dean, Cas, Sam and Jack. They were sent by Naomi to protect me. I was the final Prophet”

Cas sucked in his breath “You are the final Prophet?

I looked at him “You know about this?

“Yes, it’s a prophecy about the end of days” Cas replied

“Yes” Siobhan said “The end of days that God himself brings about. As well as a Prophet I was made a half angel, I had grace and superior strength and some powers, but I had no wings. My mission was to destroy the Empty, which I did.

“You destroyed the Empty? Cas asked again sounding amazed

At my puzzled look, Cas explained what the Empty was.

“What no one realised at the time was that was just the first step. Once I destroyed the Empty, I was transformed slightly to be an Aquaductus” Siobhan said

“Conduit” Cas said

“Yes. I was the conduit to transfer power from God to Jack. He was the only one who could take it” Siobhan answered

“Why? Who is Jack anyway?” I asked

“Jack is a Nephilim. He is the son of Lucifer and Kelly Kline, a human woman. Did you not have a Jack here?

**SIOBHAN**

At the mention of Jack being the son of Lucifer, the mood in the room shifted. They both looked at me with something akin to horror.

“Hold on a second” Dean said, “You are telling me that the son of Lucifer, the antichrist is the new God, is that what you are saying?”

Ok this is not good, I thought

“Dean, Jack is a good person. He should be, you raised him. Shit I mean, My Dean raised him, and Sam and Cas. They were his fathers, still are. They taught him right from wrong but even if they hadn’t, Jack would have made it on his own. He had more of his mother in him than Lucifer. He’s a really good person Dean”

Dean and Cas both exchanged a look. It was a look that made me ask “What is it”

“Nothing” Dean answered but I could tell it was something. Suddenly I felt I didn’t want to know.

**CASTIEL AU**

All the information that Siobhan had told us was swimming around my head, but it was the last bit of information that slayed me. I stood up abruptly and excused myself. I could see Dean looking at me, but I didn’t care. I had to get out of the room.

Opening the door, I saw Catherine standing sentry outside the door, but I ran past her and I didn’t stop until I got to the woods. There, I allowed myself to remember what we had done. And I never felt shame like it.

**DEAN AU**

Dammit Cas, I thought.

I wish I had the luxury of running, but I didn’t. I saw Siobhan staring at me warily, startled by Cas’s departure.

And I saw realisation crossing her face “You killed your Jack, didn’t you?” she asked

I closed my eyes briefly, but I answered her “We killed Kelly Kline”

Any colour in Siobhan’s face drained at my answer.

“Can I go back to my room, Dean please” Siobhan asked

I stood up and opened the door and asked Catherine to take her back.

I then went back to my desk and wondered what else we had got terribly wrong.

**SIOBHAN**

The woman who I now knew was called Catherine gripped my arm tightly the whole way back and pushed me roughly into my room.

After she left, I fell to my knees and tried to breathe. I knew what Dean hadn’t said. He killed Kelly while pregnant. That’s why Cas was so upset. They killed a pregnant woman. They killed Jack. Oh God. Who were these people? What had happened here that they would be pushed to that? Were the angels that bad?

I lay on the floor in that horrible room and I cried for this worlds Kelly Kline, who must have been terrified knowing she was going to die for something that wasn’t her fault and being unable to save her unborn baby.

**CASTIEL AU**

I made my way back to Dean’s office, but Stephen waylaid me and told me he had gone back to his tent. I changed direction and made my way there.

When I got there, I called his name and I heard him say “Come in Cas”

Dean was sitting on his bed, a drink in his hand.

He pointed to the bottle, which meant to help myself, which I did. I then sat on the bed beside him.

“I’m sorry Dean, for running out like that. It wasn’t very professional of me” I said

“It’s ok Cas, I understood. Truth be told I wished I could have run with you” Dean said

“You should know, I told Siobhan. She’s upset, obviously”

Dean stood up and started pacing around his tent,

“Dammit Cas, am I losing my objectivity? This woman, angel whatever comes along and tells us this amazing story and I realise, I’m buying it, lock, stock and barrel. I’m even questioning my own decisions, which yeah sucked major but I believed we were doing the right thing. Now, what I’m not sure. What if she isn’t on the level? What if this is all bullshit?

I let Dean rant as I know this is his way of sorting stuff out in his head. I then said to him, “Dean you and I know, she’s on the level. Let’s look at what we do know? Her phone for one, we have nothing like that here. The photos on her phone, they are no way they could be faked. And Siobhan herself, she has been genuinely sick. But we can’t second guess ourselves here. We made decisions we can’t change”

“You can” Dean said

“What” I asked

“You can second guess the decisions; you can second guess my decisions. You were against it, the whole time, killing Kelly Kline”

“Dean” I said

“No, I believed your argument in letting her live but then I allowed the community to sway me with their fear and prejudices. I let Catherine sway me. Now I know what drove her”

Dean didn’t have to say it. Catherine’s blood lust was becoming a problem. Apparently, it got worse since I came here. Catherine didn’t hide her hatred of angels. She might have good reason to hate them, but I had never done anything to her personally. But that didn’t matter. I was an angel, or I used to be. That was enough.

“What do you want to do now?” I asked Dean

Sitting back down beside me, Dean glanced at me and said “I want to know more. God help me Cas, I want to know everything she can tell us. But I’m not sure if she’ll be co-operative after this”

**SIOBHAN**

Sitting on the floor with my back against the bed, I was feeling completely wiped out. Ever since I arrived in this world, I had either been unconscious or being questioned. Now I was alone with my thoughts, and I was frightened.

How was I going to get home?

From what my Dean and Cas told me, only an archangel could open a rift between worlds and there was none here? There was also none at home, so that begged the question, how did I get here?

The thoughts of being stuck here with these people, never seeing my Cas and Dean again had me panicking, I could barely breathe thinking about it.

Did they even know what happened to me? Were they looking for me or did they believe I’m lost?

The only thing that was keeping me from falling apart was knowing Jack would be home. Maybe not for another six months but he would find me. I know he would. He had to.

……………………………………………………………………….

I don’t know how long I sat there on the floor, before there was a knock at the door. It had to be Cas. Catherine would just barge in. I didn’t know if I could face him knowing what he had done. But then, it’s not like I had a choice.

“Come in” I said and to my surprise, Cas wasn’t alone, Dean was with him.

“Hi Siobhan, can I talk to you?” Dean asked

“It’s your party” I replied “I’m just the guest here”

To my surprise, Dean sat on the floor across from me and crossed his legs and Cas followed suit.

“I know what you heard has horrified you, Siobhan and I’m not offering any excuses, but I did want to explain, if you are willing to listen” Dean said

I found myself nodding my head “Well you gave me a chance to tell my story. The least I can do is return the favour”

**DEAN AU**

“First things first, I want you to know Cas had nothing to do with it, he was against it and had convinced me to let Kelly live” I said

Siobhan turned her surprised face to Cas and then to me and said “Then, what happened?”

“Just before the angels lost their mojo, we found out that Lucifer had fathered a child with Kelly. We tracked her down and hid her. As I said Cas had convinced me and Sam to spare her”

“Sam” Siobhan asked looking from me to Cas

“Yeah Sammy. He was on board with it. We took it in turns to protect her. The community wasn’t happy about it, especially Catherine. She wanted her dead and was vocal to anyone who would listen. One night, while Sam was on watch, angels attacked. Sam managed to keep Kelly from being taken but Sam……………….died”

“No” Siobhan whispered “I wondered when I didn’t see him here, but I didn’t want to………………………………………I’m sorry Dean”

“Yeah that was a rough time, Cas helped me through” I said “But Catherine used that time to get the community on her side, and in my grief, I allowed them to sway me. I’m glad Sammy wasn’t alive to witness it. He would have been mightily ashamed of me”

Siobhan sat in silence absorbing what I had told her.

“Are you ok Siobhan?” Cas asked

“No, I’m not” Siobhan answered “Nothing about this is ok? But I understand grief, Dean. I lost a son. I know how crazy it can make you”

“It still doesn’t make it right” I said

**SIOBHAN Day 13**

For the next few days, the only person I saw was Cas. He’d knock on my door after he was finished his daily chores and would sit quietly beside my bed.

I hadn’t left my bed in days. I couldn’t. A heavy depression had settled over me. The combined shock of entering this world, losing Dean and Cas, losing my grace, being attacked, questioned was bad enough but to hear the tragic story of the Kelly Kline, was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I was barely eating or drinking.

The other thing killing me was Cas. He looked so like my Cas but wasn’t. I had to physically stop myself from reaching for him. But at the same time, I didn’t want to ask him to go. It was exhausting the constant emotions.

Even when I broke down in tears, Cas would just put a hand on my arm and say, “I’m here” and sometimes that was enough.

**DEAN AU**

I had barely seen Cas for days. Each morning he would report to me after spending the night with Siobhan and tell me how she was. Then he would go do his days’ work, before going back to her room.

Usually Cas and I shared most of our meals together, spent evenings together, even went on patrol together but we had barely spent more than fifteen minutes in each other’s company in the last three days. I hadn’t realised how much I depended on him, how much time I spent with him, until he was gone. I barely even socialised with my people anymore.

The more I examined it, the more I realised it was around the time that Kelly was killed, that I started distancing myself from them. I told myself I was grieving Sammy, but I think I was grieving for what this community had become.

Catherine came in the door with a “Morning Boss. Want me to get the angel for some more questioning”

“No, I have work I need to do” I answered her

Catherine looked at me and said “If you don’t have time, I can do it. We should be getting as much info from her as we can. Who knows what else she can tell us”?

I stood up and stared at Catherine “She has already told me plenty”

“Really, because you’re not sharing with the group” she retorted

“I didn’t realise I had to. This isn’t a democracy Catherine. I am your leader; I decide what you need to know” I said to her suddenly furious

“Really, because you’re not acting like it” she replied

“Catherine, I think you should take care as to the next words out of your mouth. The community here knows I can take care of them. That’s the reason you stayed isn’t it? If you are not happy with my leadership, you can leave. If the community is not happy with my leadership, I can take my men and go. I’m sure you can take care of yourselves”

Catherine looked slightly surprised at my declaration. I’m sure she thought losing the community would be something I didn’t want, but if I was quite honest with myself, as long as I had Cas, I was good.

**CASTIEL AU Day 15**

Siobhan hadn’t left the bed in days and he was worried. She was lying there just staring at the ceiling. She didn’t sleep much and the shadows under her eyes were getting darker despite her black eyes clearing up. He felt helpless. He didn’t know what to do for her. He was about to speak to her when he realised, she was staring at him.

“Siobhan, what can I do for you?” I asked her quietly

She squeezed her eyes shut and said “I can’t ask”

“Why” I said

“Because it’s not fair. Not to me or to you” she replied

“Siobhan, what is it, please ask me?” I begged her

So, she did. And I blinked.

I wasn’t sure I had heard her right but the wave of longing that came over me was intense.

Siobhan had asked me to hold her. I remembered her hugging me in Dean’s office and how it felt, and I wanted to experience it again. But still…………

Siobhan was talking again “I’m sorry, you see I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry Cas”

But suddenly I was standing next to the bed and I climbed in.

Siobhan’s eyes widened. She turned to me and wrapped her arms around me tightly and I did the same. It was the most amazing sensation. He had seen other people hug each other but he never realised the simple pleasure of it. Human contact, Dean called it.

Sometimes when he and Dean were having a good time, he felt Dean was about to hug him, but he always stopped and patted him on the back instead. He never knew why. This woman was the first person to ever hold him like this, in his entire existence. He hoped she wouldn’t be the last.

I realised that Siobhan had fallen asleep in my arms. He looked at her face, so relaxed in sleep and he prayed for the first time in years.

“Castiel, I have her. I will keep her safe and if it’s in my power to get her back to you, I will”

**SIOBHAN Day 16**

I woke up to a warm body in my bed. My face was pressed against someone’s chest. What the……………

Suddenly it came back to me, my moment of weakness. I couldn’t hold back the words. And Cas doing what I asked.

Oh God, I’m mortified.

But I have to admit, I felt better. The cloud hanging over me didn’t feel so dark this morning.

Cas’s arms were still around me. It felt so familiar but yet I knew this man was not my husband.

“Good morning” a voice said above my head.

I looked up into his face and he smiled at me “Thank you Siobhan”

“For what?” I asked surprised “Guilting you into spending the night”

He laughed quietly “No, I have never experienced this before. Holding someone, waking up with them. I never knew how pleasant it is. You are the first person to hug me and now you’re the first person, I spent the night with”

I nearly fell out of the bed. I leaned up on my elbow and looked down at him.

“What, but surely, you’ve hugged Dean, Dean has definitely hugged you right? I asked and was rewarded with a deep blush all over Cas’s face.

“No, Dean is not really a hugger” Cas replied

I looked at him stunned “Now I know I’m in another universe. There is so many things wrong here but that takes the biscuit”

A knock on the door interrupted us and Dean walked in. His face when he saw the two of us in bed was a picture.

**DEAN AU**

Castiel had spent the night in Siobhan’s room again, but he really needed to talk to him about the conversation he had with Catherine yesterday. Maybe he could persuade him to just have some breakfast with him. He knocked and walked in not thinking that Siobhan would be awake. Not thinking that Cas would be in bed with her. Not thinking………..

“I’m sorry” I said, “Excuse me” and I turned on my heel and left.

**SIOBHAN**

“Dean wait. You don’t need to ………………” Cas said but Dean was already gone.

“Crap” I said

“I don’t understand. He didn’t need to leave” Cas said “We weren’t doing anything”

Oh Lord, save me from clueless men in any universe, I thought

“Cas, if you walked in here and found Dean in bed with me, what would you think?” I asked

Cas’s face drained of colour, “I need to go find him” and he jumped out of the bed.

“Yeah, you go do that” I said

**DEAN AU**

I practically ran the whole way back to my office. I couldn’t get the picture of Cas in bed with Siobhan out of my head. When I walked in they were smiling at each other, their heads close together as Siobhan leaned over him.

For five years he was able to ignore his feelings for Cas, because just being around him was enough. Now, after seeing those wedding pictures and hearing Siobhan’s story, it was giving him dangerous ideas.

And from the look of it, Cas didn’t even feel the same way, couldn’t feel the same way. He never showed an interest in anyone else, man or woman until Siobhan. And now she was stuck here with no way back, Cas would be free to pursue something with her, though he was surprised it happened this soon. Siobhan seemed devoted to her husbands.

Castiel bursting through the door, startled me.

“Dean, why did you leave? I was calling you” Cas said gasping slightly

“Well Cas I know I have a kinky side but that does not include me watching you have morning sex” I answered sounding somewhat bitter, but I couldn’t help it.

“We were not having morning sex, or any kind of sex. She’s a married woman, twice over” Cas was practically shouting

“Really” I said sceptically “Because I know what I saw, Cas”

“Ok” Cas said “What did you see? Tell me everything you saw”

“What no” I sputtered

“Yes, if you are going to accuse me of having sex with a married woman, I would like you to explain what you saw” Cas said sounding pissed

“Fine, I will” I said sounding pissed myself

“I walked in, you were lying down, Siobhan was leaning over you, you were both smiling at each other and ……………….”

“And” Cas said

I looked at Cas, really looked at him and that’s when I realised, dammit

“You were fully clothed” I said resignedly

“Yes, and so was Siobhan” Cas replied “Dean, she was broken, she’s lost everything, she asked in her darkest hour for me to hold her. And I did. And that’s all I did. We both fell asleep and that’s why I was still there”

“I’m sorry Cas. I should have known better” I said

“Yes, you should. You know me better than anyone, Dean” Cas replied

“It’s just you’ve never shown an interest in anyone before. I suppose that’s why I was a bit shocked” I said

“The whole camp barely tolerates me Dean. And it’s only because of you that they do. But I’m ok with that, because I have you” Cas replied

I stared at Cas in shock and watched as his face coloured slightly.

“Cas” I said

“You’re my best friend, but you know that, right?” Cas replied

He patted me on the shoulder and said, “I’ll see you later” and he left.

I stood there staring after him and thought “yeah friends”

**SIOBHAN**

Cas knocked on my door, asking if he could come in.

“Yes, come in” I answered

Cas walked in with an armful of clothes. “I thought you might want a change of clothes” he said

“Oh God are you trying to tell me I smell bad” I said cringing slightly.

“No” Cas said, “But your clothes do need a wash.”

“Thanks Cas, a change of clothes is just what I need” I said

“Are you ok Siobhan?” Cas asked

“I am, thank you again for looking after me and for last night. By the way, did you catch up with Dean? I asked

“Oh yes, we’re fine” Cas said

“Really?” I said

“Yes. I explained what happened and he’s fine. We are both fine” Cas replied

Yep, clueless.

………………………………………………………………………….

After Cas left, I washed myself from head to toe at the sink in the bathroom, scrubbing at myself until my skin was pink. I then washed my hair as best I could, having only soap to use, and rinsing it in freezing water from the tap.

I dressed in the clothes Cas left. A pair of white boxer underwear, a tight vest top that would do instead of a bra, sweatpants and a hoodie. They felt wonderful. They felt warm and comfy and wonderful.

I had towel dried my hair as best I could, so I let it loose so it could dry.

I heard Dean outside and he asked if he could come in.

“Come in please” I answered

When he saw me, he smiled “Wow look who’s all scrubbed up. Cas’s clothes?”

“Yeah, he told me my clothes needed a wash. You might show me where I can wash them” I asked

“Actually, I was going to ask you if you wanted to go for a walk? Maybe get the tour” Dean said

“Really, that would be ok?” I asked

“Well, I am the boss man” Dean replied

We walked outside to a beautiful summer day. The air was warm, the sky was blue without a cloud to break it. People were milling about, some were cooking over open fires, some were chopping wood, kids ran around playing hide and go seek. It seemed relaxed and pleasant until they spotted me. Then they got quiet and watched me warily.

“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea Dean. I don’t want to make trouble for you” I said

“They got used to Cas, they can get used to you as well” Dean replied

I looked at him and said “Are you sure about that Dean, because I’ve seen the way they look at Cas”

Dean sighed and I asked, “Were the angels that bad?”

“Yes Siobhan, they were that bad” Dean answered

“Can you tell me what happened?” I asked

**DEAN AU**

I steered Siobhan away from the camp and towards the woods. The woods were pretty, but it was more for the privacy and to get her away from the hostile looks that I came this way.

“Sam and I were hunters. We were raised in the life. It was all we knew. Around 7 or 8 years ago, we noticed that the numbers of monsters were dwindling. All around the country reports were coming in that numbers were down. At first, we were worried thinking that maybe they were going into hiding to come at us in force, but after finding camps of vampires, werewolves, Djinn all dead we realised something else was at work. Even the amount of demons we encountered was way down. Then some witches came forward to say they couldn’t use magic anymore, that nothing was working. Sam dug into the lore but nothing like this had ever happened before.

For some it was a time of rejoicing. Even some of the toughest hunters I knew were thinking of hanging up their spurs and maybe settling down”

“But not you?” Siobhan asked

“Oh, believe me, there were moments” I said smiling down at her “But I was too uneasy, too jaded, I suppose to believe it was too good to last”

“And you were right?” Siobhan said

“Unfortunately, but not for the reasons I thought. The magic was going in our world. No more monsters, no more demons but it also affected the angels” I told her “The angels were losing their power and they thought humans were responsible”

Siobhan stopped dead in her tracks “Dean, what did they do?”

I closed my eyes thinking about when the angels first attacked,

“They were brutal and cruel and relentless. They tortured men, women and children. They showed no mercy. We had never dealt with angels before. We were outmatched at every turn, sometimes we won by sheer luck or stupidity” I stopped to take a breath,

Siobhan’s look of horror and compassion nearly undone me.

“Dean, how did you meet Cas?” Siobhan asked

I thought back to that day, the day that changed my life.

“Five years ago, Sam and I had come across a bunch of refugees. Men, woman and children just trying to survive. We offered to travel with them, to get them to this camp that Sam and I had set up. They were grateful but wary. We came across a barn and decided to hunker down for the night. Sam and I with some of the men took turns at keeping watch.

We were attacked by angels. It was so sudden and quick. I fought off a couple of them then I ran to protect the children. I made them all stand behind, but two angels came towards me, fully intent on killing us all.

Then in a blaze of light, they were dead, and when they dropped to the floor, Cas was standing there, he looked straight into my face and said, “I will protect you”. He turned then and killed the rest of the angels. He turned on his own kind and saved us all.

I didn’t know what to think. He turned to me and asked me “Are you Dean Winchester?”

I told him I was. And he said “I have been looking for you. I want to join your fight”

I couldn’t believe it or him. I asked him why and he said “This is not my way”

“Siobhan, I don’t know why, but I believed him. He’s been by my side since that day. The men who were with me that day, know what he did, and they are on his side but to the others an angel is an angel. I don’t like it, but you have to understand, the angels were that brutal”

“Did you ever find out why the magic went from your world?” Siobhan asked

“No. Sam was trying to find out even up to the day he died. Then one day Cas was trying to heal a child who had broken their leg while playing. He could barely do it. His grace was failing. A week later the angels fell, those who did survive the fall, died within a week. Cas fell very ill. I thought at one stage I was going to lose him. But I think because he was on Earth, his grace had been fading slowly, so that’s why he survived”

I shuddered thinking of that time. I felt Siobhan’s hand on my arm, and I looked at her,

“Dean, why haven’t you told Cas how you feel about him?” Siobhan asked me

**CASTIEL AU**

After I left the clothes with Siobhan, I made my way into the woods to chop some firewood. I liked doing it. The repetitive swing of the axe and feeling the cut of the wood when the axe made contact. Swing, chop, repeat.

Usually the activity cleared my mind, but not today.

I could still see Dean’s face when he came into Siobhan’s room. For a moment, he had thought that Dean was jealous of him, being alone with Siobhan, but it wasn’t Siobhan that Dean had been looking at, it was me. He was looking at me.

A film of sweat broke out over his body, that had nothing to do with chopping.

He must have imagined it.

What, like you imagined other instances over the years. Eye contact held too long. A pat on the back, that lingered.

Siobhan appearing with her story of their lives in another universe, the photos to back it up. They gave him dangerous thoughts.

But his thoughts ultimately ended up at the same place.

In this community, hell, in this world, Cas could never have a relationship with Dean. Not because he was a man, but because he was an angel.

**DEAN AU**

I shook off Siobhan’s arm suddenly angry “Siobhan I know that your Dean and Cas have a different relationship in your world but that doesn’t mean it’s the same here. Here, Cas is my friend, my best friend, but that’s all it is”

Siobhan stared at me in silence before speaking “Ok Dean, I’m sorry if I picked it up wrong. But let me just say this, if I’m not wrong, then you are a fool. My Dean and Cas danced around each other for 12 years before they finally got together. You’ve seen the photos; you’ve seen how happy they are. Don’t you want that?”

A low whistle stopped me from answering. I was on high alert. That whistle only meant one thing. Someone was attacking.

“What’s going on?” Siobhan asked

I explained what the whistle meant.

“Have you a weapon I can use?” Siobhan asked

I raised my eyebrow at her, “You don’t have angel strength anymore. I need you to get back to camp”

“Dean Winchester, I was trained by a Dean Winchester and a Sam Winchester to not just rely on my angel strength. Now are you going to give me a weapon or will I be reduced to slaying them with my witty remarks” Siobhan said

Despite my misgivings I laughed “Here” handing her a machete that was strapped to my back

“Let’s go” and I took off running deeper into the woods, Siobhan running behind me.

We stopped when we heard raised voices, hiding ourselves behind a tree.

“What do you think we are up against” Siobhan asked “I thought there were no monsters left in this universe”

I looked over my shoulder at her and said “There’s only one monster left on this planet, Siobhan……………..Humans.”

**SIOBHAN**

I stared at Dean not quite believing what he had just said. But now what not the time for him to explain. I looked around the tree we were hiding behind, to assess the situation.

A group of five men were demanding food and supplies. As leverage I could see two of the men were holding two boys with a knife pressed against their throats. The boys couldn’t be more than 9 or 10.

They were facing off against four men that I recognized from the community, one of them being Morgan who was there when I was first questioned.

I signalled to Dean that I would go right, and he nodded making his way left.

Stepping lightly, I managed to get close enough to the men.

Raising my hand, I hit the first man on the back of the head with the butt of the machete at the same bringing my foot down on the back of the knee of the man holding one of the boys. Both men went down hard, and I grabbed the boy and pulled him towards the trees. Letting him go, I swung around but Dean had already freed the other boy and his men took down the others.

Dean caught my eye and nodded at me. I returned the nod. I then turned my attention to the boy, who was hugging the tree.

“Are you ok?” I asked

The boy stood and ran away from me.

“Get away from him you bitch” I heard someone scream. I turned to see Catherine coming towards me with a knife. I managed to sidestep her swing and pushed her to one side. She went down on one knee.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing” I heard Dean yell

He grabbed Catherine’s arm and jerked her to her feet.

“What” Catherine yelled “You’re taking her side. She hurt Daniel”

“No, she didn’t. She saved his fucking life and if you don’t believe me, you can ask Morgan” Dean said pointing behind him

“It’s true, Catherine” Morgan replied

Catherine pulled her arm out of Dean’s grasp and stalked back towards camp but not before giving me a look that gave me pause.

Castiel ran into the clearing at that moment and ran to Dean “Are you ok?” he asked putting a hand on Dean’s shoulder

“I’m fine Cas” Dean replied

“I’m sorry, I was on the other side of the woods when I heard the alarm. I got here as soon as I could” I heard Cas saying

I was looking at Cas’s face as he was talking to Dean, and his feelings were so transparent that I couldn’t believe no one else saw it, including Dean. Maybe it was because I knew my Dean and Cas’s faces so well. And Dean was not as unaffected by Cas as he would like me to believe. His face said it all.

“Cas” Dean said “Its fine. You’re here now”

Dean turned to me “I’m sorry, it looks like I have to cut our tour short. I need to deal with these men”

“That’s ok, I’ll go back to my room” I said feeling nauseous again. I had barely eaten anything, and the adrenalin of the last few minutes was eating up what energy I had.

We all walked back together, parting ways outside my room.

I was no sooner back in my room when the door banged open and in strode Catherine. She closed the door behind her and said “Alone at last”

**DEAN AU**

I hated this. I hated what humans had become. But these men would have slit those boys’ throats, if we hadn’t stopped them. They weren’t the first to attack them and try steal their supplies. The men were been held in a makeshift barn and they had to be punished. I hesitated before I went in. I felt Cas’s hand on my shoulder, and he whispered “You got this, Dean”

Together we entered the barn.

I looked around when I entered. The five attackers were strapped to chairs. Standing watch over them were six of my men. Each of these men had been with me since I saved their lives the same night, Cas appeared. They were loyal to me to a fault.

Looking around I realised someone was missing. “Where’s Catherine?”

**SIOBHAN**

“So, word on the grapevine is that you’re married to another version of Castiel or is it Dean, there seems to be some debate” Catherine said

I looked at her warily and said “Well it’s really none of your business, but yes I am a married woman”

“Well now that you’re stuck here, I wouldn’t get your hopes up in replacing your husband with the Dean of this world, as he’s taken” Catherine said

“Well that’s not any of my business, is it” I told her

“What, you’re not even a little bit curious” Catherine asked with a sly look on her face.

“You see, I’ve seen the pictures from your wonderful device. You and the Dean of that world wrapped around each other. Not a care in the world. And on your wedding day too. But here, here Dean is all about one person, can you guess who?”

I was feeling a little sick to my stomach in more ways than one. The taking down of those two men on a barely filled stomach had started making me nauseous but Catherine’s implication was telling me, she wasn’t as blind as other people.

“You know Dean and I used to be involved. Oh yes” she said with a smirk at my raised eyebrows “Very hot and heavy, me and Dean used to be. That is until a certain angel came on the scene. A month later, Dean finishes with me”

“That’s hardly proof of anything” I say “

“That was five years ago and Dean Winchester, ultra-ladies’ man, has dated no one since. Has spent time in no one’s company except one former ex-angel. Yeah please” Catherine snorted

“Catherine, I fail to see what this has to do with me. The Dean Winchester of this world is not my husband. All I want is to get back to mine”

“What it has to do with you is that now another angel has arrived, YOU, and Dean is all about you, warm bed, friendly chats, tours of our compound. You bloody angels are making him soft. He used to be tough, he used to strong, he used to be a man” she spat at me.

I couldn’t help it, but she made me angry “You ugly bitch, how dare you talk about the man who has kept you safe all these years like that? So, he broke up with you, so what? It happens, get over it”

Catherine’s face blanched and she rushed me. I couldn’t move fast enough, and she was on top of me, with her hands around my neck. I could feel the bile rising from my stomach, choking me from the inside and I thought, “This is how I’m going to die”

I could barely hear her as she bent and whispered “Get over it, I will never get over it. First you bastards take my family, then you take Dean. No, I won’t fucking get over it”

**DEAN**

I was about to start interrogating the men when the door burst open and Daniel, one of the kids held by knifepoint today, ran in.

“She’s hurting her, she’s hurting her” Daniel said gasping for breath.

My blood ran cold as I realised who he meant.

I roared at my men to stay and both Cas and I ran to Siobhan’s room.

Bursting in the door, I saw Catherine on top of Siobhan, her hands around her neck. I grabbed her from behind and pulled her off. Cas ran to help Siobhan.

I threw Catherine to the ground, “What the hell do you think you’re doing, you could have killed her?”

Catherine started laughing “I did kill her”

I turned to see Cas, doing CPR on Siobhan, something I had taught him after he lost his angel power.

I turned to see Daniel hovering at the door, “Get the doc and then get Michael and John, tell them I need them straight away”

“Cas talk to me” I said but he didn’t answer. I couldn’t take my eyes off Catherine. She was a good fighter, I should know, I trained her.

The doctor, a good man name Samuel came running and went straight over to Siobhan and checked her while Cas continued to do CPR.

Then Michael and John appeared. “Take her to the cell. Make sure she’s locked up tight. And no one talks to her. No one”

Michael and John didn’t question my orders. They picked Catherine up off the floor and dragged her away. But Catherine didn’t go quietly, “You think I’m the only one, you think I’m the only one who hates you for putting angels first, but you’ll see, just when you least expect it, you’ll get yours” and she started laughing

**CASTIEL**

This is not happening. I made a promise. I made a promise to my other self that I would get you back to him. C’mon Siobhan. Please come back.

I kept up the CPR like Dean showed me.

I was relieved when Samuel appeared beside me. He told me to continue what I was doing while he checked her out.

I felt Dean’s presence behind me. Knowing he was there, gave me strength to continue. It had always been like this with them. From the first moment he met him, he felt stronger at Dean’s side.

A deep inhale broke my concentration and Siobhan jerked beneath my hands.

“Stop Cas” said Samuel “You did it”

I sat back on the floor in relief, and to give the doc room to check Siobhan out. I felt a warmth at my back as Dean kneeling behind me, wrapped his arms around me and said “You did it Cas, you got her back”

Feeling lightheaded, I wasn’t sure what affected me more, bringing Siobhan back or feeling Dean’s arms around me for the first time. I sagged into his embrace, and he bore my weight by holding me tighter.

**DEAN**

The doc helped Siobhan sit up and leaned her against the edge of the bed. She looked over at me and Cas and smiled “My boys” before her head lolled to the side.

“Doc, what the hell?” I asked

I watched as Doc checked her out and said “She’s unconscious. It’s her body’s way of helping her heal. She’s had quite a shock to the system”

That was putting it lightly. Her neck was already showing purple and red bruising from Catherine’s hands. I was ashamed to realise that in the two weeks that Siobhan had been here, she had been black and blue from two attacks by his people.

Doc looked over at me and I realised I was still holding Cas, very tightly. But Doc said nothing except, “Help me get her into bed”

Cas and I stood, and we picked Siobhan up and laid her on the bed.

Doc moved to the door and called Daniel “Go get Shelley and tell her to give me a hand” and Daniel ran off to do his bidding.

Doc turned to us and said “Someone should sit with her at all times. Shelley will help me get her undressed and comfortable”

“How long will she be like this Doc” Cas asked

Doc replied “I don’t know. She’s had one shock after another since she got here. She wasn’t fully recovered from losing her grace when this happened. Look Dean, I’m sorry but you might want to prepare yourselves that she might not make it”

**CASTIEL**

When Shelley arrived, she shooed us out the door. She was one of the only people besides Doc, who treated him with any respect. He knew Siobhan would be safe with them.

Daniel was still hovering nearby, and Dean made his over to him and placed his hand on his shoulder “Thank you Daniel. You saved her life”

“She saved mine” he replied “Will she be ok?

And Dean knowing it never did any good to sugar coat things said “I don’t know”

Dean sent Daniel on his way and then turned to me “What the hell am I going to do with her, Cas?”

I knew he meant Catherine.

“Dean, do you still have feelings for her” I asked

Dean looked shocked “What no. It was never like that with us. And that’s why I ended it. Because I knew it never would be. But she’s a good soldier. At least she was. Now I can’t trust her. I know frontier justice says I kill her, or I turn her out of the camp.

I don’t want to kill her, but my gut tells me if I don’t, she’ll make us pay. Her hatred is too strong. So, I’m going to sleep on it. In the meantime, we have those other guys to deal with. Let’s get it over with”

**To be continued**


	3. Chapter 3

Summer of Loss Part 3

DEAN AU Day 22

I was lying in bed one morning thinking about all the changes that happened in the last three weeks.

Before Siobhan arrived, my life was tipping along predictably. I ran the camp, I chopped wood, I hunted game, I patrolled and most of that I did with Cas at my side, happy with our friendship.  
But that all changed when I saw those pictures. When I got to know Siobhan and her life with another Dean and Cas. When the feelings I had ignored and kept buried were harder to ignore.  
And then there was Siobhan herself. She was still lying unconscious in her room. Six days after Catherine attacked her. The Doc thought there was something else going on, that maybe there was more damage done than we thought, or it could be her mind giving her body time to heal.  
He and Cas along with the Doc and Shelley had taken it in turns to watch her. Even Daniel had asked to take a couple of shifts, which I had allowed him to do.  
I had men stationed at the point of entry where Siobhan had landed in our world, but no one had come for her.

My mind went to that night Catherine attacked Siobhan. Cas and I dealt with the attacker’s frontier style, and we made it quick, quicker than maybe they deserved. I couldn’t bring myself to deal with Catherine in the same way. Her punishment was exile. Cas and I with a couple of my men travelled in our last working vehicle, with Catherine blindfolded and dropped her off 60 miles from our camp. We left her with some food and supplies and I warned her to never show her face around me again. Her reply was predictable.

On the way home we had discussed moving camp, and it was on the agenda for a meeting this morning. Moving camp was a pain but it was necessary to keep the camp safe. Over 100 people were under his charge, he did not take it lightly.

CASTIEL AU

I had the shift to watch over Siobhan. The bruises at her throat, were still visible but other than that she looked fine. Like she was sleeping.  
Every day, he prayed to the other Castiel and told him how she was. He promised him he would do everything to get her better. He hoped that he could.  
“Cas”  
I looked around and Dean was peeking his head around the door. I couldn’t help the smile on my face. It was getting harder and harder to keep my true feelings to myself. It was like my walls of restraint were breaking down, but from the answering smile on Dean’s face, he didn’t look like he minded.  
“I brought breakfast” Dean whispered  
Breakfast was stew. Most meals were stew, but game was pretty plentiful around here and we grew our own vegetables. It could be worse; it could be oatmeal. He hated oatmeal.

Dean sat in the chair beside me while looking at Siobhan “No change?”  
“No” I said “She hasn’t moved an inch”

Dean nodded his head “The meeting is on in an hour. You are coming right?”  
“Yes of course” I said “As most of the adults are going to be at it, I’ve asked Daniel to watch over Siobhan while we are there”  
“Good, that’s good” Dean said

Dean leaned forward and rubbed his face in his hands. He smiled back at me and I tried to ignore the flip my stomach did.  
“It’s been a hell of a few weeks Cas, hasn’t it” Dean said  
“Yeah, that it has” I replied smiling back at him “Do you wish, she hadn’t come here?”

Dean hesitated but then he shook his head “No, I don’t. She saved Daniels’s life; she brought the situation with Catherine to a head. I didn’t realise until she was gone, how much of a strain she was putting on the community. Can you feel it? It’s like with her toxic attitude gone, people are more relaxed”

“I thought I was the only one who noticed” I said

“You’re not” Dean answered twisting his fingers together “Cas, can I ask you something?”  
“Of course, Dean, you know you can ask me anything” I replied  
“Do you ever……….you know…….think about…………..you know…….the other Dean and Cas. Siobhan’s, Dean and Cas and their life there”  
The question more than surprised me. Dean and me, had consciously never brought up the nature of the relationship of our other selves.  
But now that Dean brought it up, I knew I had to answer him honestly. I had never in all the time I knew him, lied to him.  
“I think about it all the time, Dean” I answered him  
Now it was Dean’s turn to be surprised “You do? Does it bother you………..their relationship?  
“No, in fact……” I started  
“Cas”  
We both turned towards Siobhan. Her eyes were open, and she was looking at us.  
“Siobhan, thank god, your awake” Dean said “Are you ok? Why are you smiling?”  
“Déjà vu” Siobhan croaked out  
“What” I asked  
“Nothing. Story for another time” she answered  
“How do you feel” Dean asked  
“Starving” Siobhan answered

DEAN AU

Cas went to get Doc and I sat Siobhan up on the bed. She weighed barely anything at all. “Seriously, Siobhan how do you feel?” I asked her  
“I’m good Dean really. Better than I should be” she answered. Her eyes flicked towards the door nervously.  
“She’s gone Siobhan” I said  
“Gone” Siobhan asked  
“Exiled” I told her  
“And you’re ok with that?” Siobhan asked  
“I am. More than ok” I said  
Siobhan pulled at her hair and I knew she wanted to ask something else.  
“What is it?” I asked  
“How long?” She asked  
“Six days” I answered, and her eyes widened.  
“Has anyone come…………………” she trailed off  
“I’m sorry. Truly I am” I said, and she nodded her head.

The Doc came through the door and I formally introduced them.  
“Well, let me check you out. Dean can you wait outside?” Doc asked  
“Of course,” I smiled at Siobhan and left.

SIOBHAN

I liked the Doc on sight. He was like one of those old country docs you’d see in a Hallmark movie. Crusty but caring.  
I thought about what Dean had said. I was out for 6 days. Which meant I was here three weeks, and no one had come. I tried to dampen down the panic inside.  
“Besides your stomach being a bit swollen, which I put down to not eating, other than that you seem fine. How do you feel?” Doc asked  
“Actually, I feel great. Amazing really. Other than being starving, I’m really really good. Go figure” I said  
“So, I was right, your body just needed time to heal, now you need to eat” Doc said

And with perfect timing a knock on the door and Cas calling “Dinner time” had Doc laughing and calling “Come in”  
Dean and Cas walked in with Cas setting a plate of stew on my lap and handed me a spoon.  
“I know there’s a lot there but eat what you can” Cas said  
“Not a problem” I said, and I tucked in. It was the nicest thing I had tasted since I arrived here.  
I scraped the plate clean and looked up to see the three men looking at me in amazement.  
“What” I asked “I was hungry”  
Cas smiled and said, “Do you want more?”  
“Yes please” I said  
“Yes, I think she’s on the mend alright” Doc said looking really pleased.  
Behind the men I heard someone clearing their throat. They all turned and a man I had never seen before said “Sorry Boss, but everyone is assembled. They’re waiting for you”  
“Ok thanks Michael. I’ll be right there. Oh, and can you fetch Daniel, tell him his shift is starting”  
“Will do Boss” Michael said and left.  
Doc turned to me and said “Siobhan I’ll be back to check on you later”  
“Thank you for everything. I really appreciate it” I said  
“Well now, you’re welcome” Doc replied gruffly, and he left.

“Are you leaving too” I asked Cas  
“Yes, we have a community meeting that we have to attend, but we have someone that’s going to sit with you” Cas said  
“Cas, I don’t need a babysitter. I’ll be fine, in fact I wouldn’t mind stretching my legs” I said  
“Absolutely not” Cas replied “You have just spent a week unconscious in bed, not eating. You will stay here until I get back. If you still want a walk, then I will take you”  
Dean and I looked at Cas in bemusement.  
“Whatever you say Mom” I teased him “Jeez Dean, is he always like this?  
“Yeah, he never lets me have any fun either” Dean answered poker faced  
Cas blushed at our teasing, but I held up my hand and said “I solemnly swear, I will stay here until you get back”  
The arrival of Daniel surprised me.  
“Ah and here’s your babysitter” Dean announced  
“Dean” I hissed “That’s not fair, he’s not comfortable around me. Don’t make him, please.”  
Dean leaned down to me and said “He’s been taking care of you while you were out Siobhan. He wants to do it”  
I looked over at Daniel to find him smiling shyly at me.  
Oh my, I thought.

DEAN AU

The meeting went well. Nearly everyone was happy to move camp. We wouldn’t be moving far and some of the men would be leaving tomorrow morning to scout out possible locations.  
As Cas and I made our way back to Siobhan’s room, I grasped Cas around the shoulders before I realised that I had done it.  
Cas looked at me startled but I ignored it. “The mood in camp is positive Cas, don’t you think? Siobhan is on the mend and I don’t know, everything in general feels good”

Including having this man at my side, I thought to myself. I knew I had to rein myself in, but right now I was in too good a mood to do so.

Smiling sideways at me, Cas said “It’s certainly good seeing you this way. It’s been a while”

Entering the tent that joined onto Siobhan’s room, I smiled down at Cas “Yes it has. But now, life is good and I’m going to enjoy it”  
Cas’s arm went around my shoulders and he squeezed me gently. With my arm around Cas, his embrace brought our heads closer together, and I saw Cas’s eyes glance at my lips.

My breath hitched. Did I see right?  
Looking a bit flustered, Cas removed his arm but stopped dead while looking ahead. I followed his gaze to see Siobhan’s door was open. We both looked inside but the room was empty.

SIOBHAN

After everyone left, I was left alone with Daniel, who was still staring shyly at me.  
“Hi Daniel, it’s nice to officially meet you” I said  
“Hi” he said quietly “I’m sorry I never told you “Thank you”, so thank you.  
“For what?” I asked  
“For saving my life. Those men would have killed me, if you hadn’t saved me” Daniel answered  
“You’re welcome Daniel, I’m sorry you had to go through that” I said “Your parents must have been so worried about you”  
Daniel looked down and I got a very uneasy feeling “My parents are dead” Daniel replied

Shit, well done Siobhan.

“I’m sorry Daniel. I really am” I said  
“That’s ok. Is there anything I can get you?” Daniel said.  
“Well I would love a bath but that’s not going to happen, so I’ll just have a wash in here” I said pointing to the makeshift bathroom.  
“You could use the lake?” Daniel said  
“What?” I asked  
“There’s a stream nearby, that we use for clean water and that runs into a lake, that we use to wash ourselves. I can take you there” Daniel said  
I looked at him with a wry smile on my face “I’m not sure I want to go prancing around the neighbourhood with no clothes on”  
“Oh no” Daniel said his face all earnest “Dean made the rules that you can only bathe at a certain point. As long as someone is there to tell people that the lake is being used, they can’t intrude. I can look out for you”

I remembered the promise I made Cas, but I really felt terrific. And the thoughts of submerging myself in water, even a cold lake was too irresistible.

Jumping out of the bed, I grabbed soap, a towel and my clothes and said “Let’s go”

CASTIEL AU

Dean and I looked at each other, “What the hell?” Dean said  
We both turned and made our way back out.  
Seeing Shelley passing with her arms full of firewood, I asked “Shelley, have you’ve seen Siobhan?”  
“No, but then I’ve just come from the meeting like yourselves” she answered me  
One of the children passing us overheard us and said  
“Daniel and the angel lady made their way down to the lake a while ago” he said  
“Thank you” I said

I looked at Dean and said, “Makes sense” and we made for the lake.

SIOBHAN

The lake wasn’t cold. It was almost warm. It was high summer here and the sun had warmed the water. In any case, it was heavenly. I allowed myself 5 minutes of just floating there, then, not wanting to push my luck, I washed myself with the soap, doing my hair the best I could.  
I looked around before I exited the lake and stood in the shade of the trees while I dried myself with the towel.  
Then I dressed in the clothes I was wearing when I arrived in this world. My jeans, boots and white shirt. Someone had washed them, and they felt a bit stiff, but they were clean. Finally, clean and dressed, I walked back towards the lake and surveyed my surroundings. The terrain looked familiar but that wasn’t what was occupying my thoughts.  
I felt amazing, better than amazing and the reason I was feeling so good was dancing around at the edges of my mind, but I wouldn’t let the idea take hold. Not yet. I wasn’t ready to face it yet.  
Turning on my heel I made my way back to Daniel, to find he was not alone.

DEAN AU

We found Daniel, standing at the lookout spot for the lake. He stood up straight when he saw us coming.  
“Stop right there, boss” he said “Occupied” pointing a thumb over his shoulder.  
I laughed at him and said “I don’t break my own rules but is she ok to be in the lake by herself. She’s not long awake after being sick”  
“She seemed ok on the way down” Daniel said, “Do you want me to call her?”

I was about to answer when I spotted Siobhan coming towards me. As she got closer, I realised how beautiful she was. Her hair was wet and hanging down her back. Her face was blemish and bruise free and her skin was glowing with health. She looked like, well she looked like an angel. For a moment, I envied my counterpart in that other world, but just for a moment.  
“Cas I’m sorry I broke my promise to you, but when Daniel mentioned the lake, well I couldn’t resist” Siobhan said  
Cas was looking at her puzzled “Siobhan your bruises, their gone”  
Siobhan put a hand to her throat and said “Are they? Well, you said it’s been a week, they must had faded”  
“No, I saw them, before the meeting, you still had bruises” Cas said again  
“Cas it must have been the light in the room. I certainly didn’t wash them off” Siobhan replied  
“Yeah maybe” Cas said but he didn’t look convinced  
“Well look, all I know is that I feel good, I’m clean, I had the best babysitter, ever” Siobhan said smiling down at Daniel “And I was wondering if there was any stew left”  
I laughed and said “You bet”

SIOBHAN

Making our way back to camp, I made small talk with Cas, hoping to distract him from my disappearing bruises. It seemed to have worked and he was smiling as we helped ourselves to some more stew.  
Dean suggested we eat in his office and now the three of us were sitting around his desk, eating.  
“So, can you tell me what the meeting was about, or does it involve state secrets” I asked  
“We have state secret meeting on Tuesdays” Dean said smiling  
“Ha Ha. Good one” I said laughing  
Dean laughed “We are moving camp”  
“Why” I asked  
“We usually move a couple of times in a year, but the Catherine situation just made us up our timetable” Dean replied  
“You think she’ll come back and cause trouble” I asked  
“Unfortunately, we all have a reason to hate angels, present company not included, but some turn into zealots. And Catherine is a zealot. I don’t think she will let this go”  
“Where will you move to?” I asked  
Cas replied “Not sure yet? Scouts are heading out tomorrow. We would hate to lose the lake and the stream. We depend on them a lot”  
A thought I had down at the lake came back to me, “Dean are we in Kansas?  
Looking surprised Dean replied “Yes. You know Kansas?”  
“Dean, I live in Kansas. Lebanon to be exact. Are we anywhere near there? I asked  
“Yeah, we’re about only 5 miles from Lebanon, or what’s left of Lebanon” Dean replied

I looked from Dean to Cas and back again, thinking that I knew a place that could keep all these people safe, that had running water, electricity that ran off its own power source, well at least it did in my world and then I thought, I’ll just get these peoples hopes up for nothing but dammit I had to ask,  
“Dean did you ever hear of the Men of Letters bunker?”

DEAN AU

I looked at Siobhan and said, “The Men of what?”  
Siobhan then told us about how her Dean and Sam had found out they were Legacies, how they should have been raised as such and how they found the bunker in their world.  
“Dean look I’m not sure that it will be here, or that it’s not already occupied but in my world it’s the more secure place on Earth. It has its own power source, running water, enough rooms to house everyone here. It’s also warded which you don’t need anymore, but also no one can get in unless you let them in” Siobhan told us  
“But how will we get in if we don’t have a key?” Cas asked  
“If Dean is a Legacy here as well, his blood should open the door. Once inside there should be a key. I know in our world, Dean and Sam found several keys in storage”

I stared at Siobhan for a moment and for a second, I doubted her. What she was telling us seemed like the answers to all our prayers. A secure place with beds and running water and electricity, just seemed too good to be true.

“Dean we could go tomorrow and check it out. You, Cas and me and we should bring Stephen” Siobhan said  
“Why Stephen” I asked  
“Because he’s a freaking wonderkid. He can check that everything is ok, there’s a lot of equipment down there. My Sam showed me how some of the machines maintained the bunker but I’m no Stephen” Siobhan answered  
I nodded my head “I need to think about this Siobhan”  
At her surprised look I said “I’m supposed to be sending out scouts tomorrow. I don’t want to do that if I’m taking a trip to Lebanon. I need to make a plan”  
“Of course,” Siobhan said “Look I want to earn my keep around here. Is there anything I can do to help out in the camp until you decide?”  
“Siobhan, you’re just out of bed, shouldn’t you take it easy?” Cas asked  
“Cas I’ve spent enough time taking it easy. Put me to work, ok” Siobhan answered  
Cas looked at me and I nodded “Ok in that case, you’re with me” 

CASTIEL AU

I knew from experience that the camp liked to keep a bit of distance from me and I’m sure the same would be true of Siobhan. So, I gave her a choice, chopping wood or tending to the horses. Both were solitary jobs. I was so sure of Siobhan’s answer that she surprised me when she said she would chop wood.  
“Are you sure?” I asked  
“Yes, look I love animals, but I’ve never been around horses before, and anyway I’ve some pent-up energy I want to work off, so lead on” she answered.  
We walked to the woods where we found Daniel already hard at work. Daniel seemed happy to see Siobhan.  
“Hey Daniel, want some company?” I asked  
At his nod, Siobhan picked up an axe and got to work. She swung the axe like a pro.  
Seeing me watching her she laughed and said “I just pretend their vampire’s necks”  
I laughed and then left them to it. I needed to get back to Dean.

DEAN AU

After Cas and Siobhan had left, I sat and thought about what she had said. Why was I uneasy? That this bunker of hers seemed too good to be true. Or was it that I thought for the first time she was hiding something. Ever since she woke up this time, something was different with her. I couldn’t put my finger on it.  
I looked up as the door opened and Cas walked in.  
He stood there looking at me, seemingly debating on whether to say something or not.  
“Spit it out Cas” I said  
He sighed and then rubbed his eyes “She had bruises, Dean, they were still there and then they weren’t”  
“I know, Cas. I hadn’t remembered until you said it. But she also looks better in every way” I replied  
“What do you think it means Dean? She’s out chopping wood right now, better than any man in camp when a few hours ago she was on day 6 of being unconscious” Cas asked  
“I don’t know. But I’d like to find out sooner than later” I said  
“What do you have in mind? Cas asked  
“Cancel the scouts for tomorrow. Tell Siobhan and Stephen to ready for a trip tomorrow. We leave at first light” I said

SIOBHAN

For the next couple of hours Daniel and I worked side by side, chopping wood. He told me how he arrived here two years ago after his parents had been killed by angels.  
“Dean and Cas found me. They were hunting game and Dean nearly shot me” he grinned at me  
“I’m sorry Daniel. Are you sure you don’t mind being around me? I can work elsewhere you know” I said  
“No. I like you Siobhan” he answered me shyly “And you’re completely different than other angels. You and Cas, you’re both different”.  
“Well how would like to hear a fun filled fact?” I asked him  
At his nod I said “I was born human. I was made into an angel”  
“Why” he asked surprised

So, I spent the next hour telling him about the prophecy and meeting the Dean and Cas of my world, keeping it completely PG rated of course. He was an attentive audience and I enjoyed his company. Truth be told, he reminded me of my Brodie.  
After we finished chopping, we then had to transport it back to the camp. Daniel showed me where to find the wheelbarrows and we made several trips to and from camp with the wood.  
After we were finished, Daniel showed me the horses and how to feed them and brush them down. I found them to be beautiful creatures and between them and Daniel’s company, the day flew, and I found myself sitting at a campfire with Daniel at my side, eating dinner, realising we still hadn’t run out of things to talk about. He had so many questions about my world, which I was happy to answer.  
Throughout it all though I was aware that for the first time since I got here neither Dean nor Cas had come to find me during the day. My disappearing bruises had made them suspicious; I was sure of it.  
But there was nothing I could do about that now.  
After dinner, Daniel walked me back to my room and I told him I would see him in the morning.  
Just as I was entering the room, I heard Cas call my name.  
I turned and smiled at him “Hey, I missed you today”  
He smiled briefly but would barely meet my eyes. That wasn’t good.  
“Siobhan, Dean has decided on finding your bunker. We leave at first light, ok” Cas said  
“Yeah sure, ok” I answered  
“Ok good, well goodnight then” Cas said and walked away.

DEAN AU

It was still dark when I woke the next morning. I pulled myself into a sitting position with my feet on the floor.  
I wondered again if I was doing the right thing, looking for this bunker, but usually when I decided something, I followed through.  
Hearing Cas call my name, I told him to come in.  
He walked in with two bowls of stew. I saw his eyes widen and he said “Sorry Dean, I thought you would be up and dressed”  
“Its fine. I’m on a slow go this morning” I said, and he handed me a bowl “Sit” I said moving up on the bed.  
We ate in silence and I was slightly cursing myself as I was very aware, I was sitting next to Cas wearing only my boxers. Was all my defences just crumbling down? I didn’t know anymore.  
Cas cleared his throat and asked, “So what’s the plan for today?”  
“We follow Siobhan’s lead and see where she takes us” I said “And Cas, arm yourself well. We don’t know who we’ll meet on the road”  
Cas nodded, but didn’t look at me.  
“Is something wrong Cas” I asked him  
“No, why?” Cas asked  
“Because you haven’t looked at me once since you sat down, is something on your mind” I asked him  
I was surprised when Cas’s cheeks coloured slightly “No, nothing well maybe I’m just hoping that we are wrong about Siobhan”  
He looked at me then and his eyes flickered to my chest and his colour deepened.

I felt myself go warm all over. I did not imagine that. Is this possible? Is Cas affected by me, like I’m affected by him?  
I can’t think about that now, what did he say to me….

“So do I Cas. I know she’s hiding something but maybe she’ll tell us when she’s ready. But we have to prepare for the worst, you know that right?” I asked him  
Cas looked at me again and this time, he looked straight into my eyes “I know, Dean”

SIOBHAN

After a sleepless night, I got up and dressed, and made my way to the breakfast line. Daniel was waiting there for me.  
“You’re up early” I said.  
“It was my turn to help with breakfast this morning” Daniel replied  
“Wow, you are really a jack of all trades” I said and was rewarded with a smile.  
We made our way over to a campfire and I ate my breakfast with Daniel keeping me company.  
“Do you want to help chop more wood today? Daniel asked  
I hesitated as I didn’t know if he was meant to know about our trip. I was saved by Dean’s voice behind me “Sorry kid, but I’m stealing Siobhan today”  
I turned and said Good Morning to him.  
“Good morning Siobhan. Are you ready?” he asked  
“Yes” I replied, and I turned to Daniel and told him I would see him later.  
I walked over to the truck with Dean to find Cas inside the cab of the truck and Stephen sitting on the bed behind the cab.  
Cas jumped out when he saw me and said “Good morning” to me  
“After you” Dean said, and I climbed up into the cab with Cas following. Dean walked around to the driver’s side and we left camp, me sitting between them and Stephen behind us, each man armed with shotguns and pistols.

DEAN AU

We drove the five miles to Lebanon in near silence. Travelling by day had its risks and we needed to be alert.  
Siobhan seemed to be taking everything in, the abandoned homes and buildings, the discarded toys on what was left of front lawns and burnt out cars. As we neared Lebanon she tensed, seeing the burnt-out shells of shops and stores.  
She pointed to a road leading away from Lebanon and said “Drive for a mile and a half down this road”  
I did as she asked and after a mile she gasped “There” she said pointing to another abandoned structure in the distance. “That’s the building that sits on top of the bunker. It has to be here”  
I continued on until we were directly outside the structure. We all climbed out, keeping a good eye on our surroundings.  
“We need to hide the truck” I said  
“Dean if we can get into the bunker, it has a garage where you can park the truck” Siobhan said  
“Ok, lead on Siobhan” I said

At the front of the building were steps down, ending with a steel door. Siobhan climbed down, with me behind her, then Stephen with Cas bringing up the rear.  
At the door Siobhan turned to me and said, “It doesn’t look like it’s been opened in years”  
“Ok what do I need to do” I asked  
She pointed to a flat panel and said “Cut your palm and hold it here, it should open the door”  
I looked at her a bit dubiously, but I did what she asked  
I cut my hand and holding it towards the panel, I looked back at Cas and said, “Here goes nothing” and hit the panel.  
For a couple of seconds, nothing happened and then with a grinding noise, the door sprang open and stale air billowed out.  
Holding my gun in front of me, I nudged the door open wider and went in.

SIOBHAN

I followed Dean in.  
I had thought for a moment that the door wouldn’t open but here we were, walking through the front door. I hoped it was empty. I wanted them to have this, this security in a world that had taken everything from them.  
As we stood at the top of the stairs, we looked down into the map room. My head was spinning. It looked the exact same. I half expected my Dean and Cas or Sam and Eileen to look up and say, “Where the hell have you been?”  
While we stood there, lights came on in the ceiling, the map table lit up, the whirring of the AC, pumping out the stale air and renewing it.  
“What’s happening” Dean asked  
“The bunker recognizes a Man of Letters, the bunker is coming to life because of you Dean” I said  
Dean looked at me in disbelief and I laughed “We should start in the control room, Dean, let Stephen look it over, make sure it’s safe, then we can search the place, make sure we are alone”  
Dean nodded his head and said “Lead on”

We descended the stairs and I showed them to the control room. The minute we entered Stephen was practically jumping up and down like a kid. He turned to me and said “Siobhan you give me the best toys to play with”  
“Happy to oblige” I replied

DEAN AU

I turned to Stephen “Will you be ok here while we check the place out…………..Stephen?  
“What” Stephen said popping his head from under a machine “Yeah yeah Boss I’m good. You go do your thing”  
“Ok, we will stick together for now, just in case of any surprises” I said, and Siobhan and Cas agreed.  
We made our way out into one of the corridors and started checking rooms. The first rooms we checked were full of books, ceiling to floor shelves weighed down with lore books. Then we found bedrooms, loads of bedrooms with actual beds and wardrobes in them. We came to one door and I noticed that Siobhan stiffened before I opened it. The room was bigger than all the previous ones, with a double bed in it.  
“It looks the same as when I moved into it” I heard Siobhan say  
I turned to see her standing at the door with tears in her eyes.  
“What” I asked  
“This room……………..this is our bedroom back home. Well, you know what I mean” Siobhan said “I didn’t expect it to look the exact same. I don’t know why, you and Cas are the exact same but I just didn’t think……………….Dammit” and walked away.

Cas followed her out and caught up with her in the corridor.  
“Siobhan, stop” Cas said and pulled her into his arms. She held onto him tightly, but she didn’t cry. After a minute, she relaxed her arms and let Cas go.  
“Thanks Cas, I needed that” Siobhan said.  
“I’m sorry Siobhan” I told her “I didn’t think about how hard this would be for you”  
“It’s ok” Siobhan replied “But this is my home. This is where my family live. I just keep expecting one of them to come around the corner, you know. Look I’m good, really, lets continue”

We continued through the bunker. We found the dungeon, the kitchen, more rooms with books, an armoury, and a garage full of cars. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Cas smiled over at me when we found the garage. He knew about my love for cars and fixing them up.  
He smiled at me and said “If we do move in here, I’ll never see you again”  
I winked at him and said, “That would never happen” and he blushed to the roots of his hair.  
I looked at Siobhan, but she had turned her head, but I swear she was smiling.  
To cover up my faux pau I said “I’ll go get the truck, bring it in here. Give me a minute” and I left the garage.

CASTIEL AU

This place was amazing. The rooms, the equipment, the sheer size of the place, could hold their community with no problems.  
Finding the garage had Dean practically giddy. Dean winking at him had him practically giddy. He had to get a hold of himself. They still had so much to see.

One of the next rooms was the shower room. Twelve showers stood side by side. Dean went over and turned on one of the showers and held his hand under the spray.  
He turned to us in amazement “The waters hot”  
Siobhan just smiled. She hadn’t said much since “her bedroom”. She hadn’t cried in his arms but her whole body shook like she was fighting to keep them in.  
He was looking at her now. He knew she was keeping something from them, but he didn’t think it was something to hurt them with. He hoped when she was ready, she would tell them. Until then, they had to keep an eye on her.

They ended back in the map table room.  
“Which way to the control room again, Siobhan?” Dean asked  
“This way” Siobhan said, and we followed her.

Entering the control room, we found Stephen lying on the floor under a machine with only his legs visible.  
“You ok under there Stephen?” Dean asked  
“Oh hey, you’re back” Stephen said sliding himself out. “Dean this is amazing. The equipment is from the 50’s and then was state of the art but it was also built to last. This place has its own generator, backup generator, alarms, bells and whistles, the whole nine yards. It’s what Siobhan said, it’s like a self-sufficient little city”  
“What about security? Is it safe? Are there any nasty little surprises hidden inside?” Dean asked  
“None that I can see. I was going to run a diagnostic program but will have to adapt it for this equipment” Stephen said  
“How long will that take?” I asked  
“A few hours” Stephen answered  
“Ok” said Dean “You run your program. We’ll have another look around, and if everything checks out, we’ll head back to the community and put it to a vote”  
Siobhan who hadn’t said anything looked at Dean and said “We should find the keys to this place; in case they vote to come here”  
“Agreed” Dean said

DEAN AU

This place certainly seemed to have it all. Heat, light, running water and more importantly, security. But he knew he would go with what the community decided. They might not want to live underground. They had lived in tents for so long, it was second nature to them. But there was no security in them. They relied on sentries to warn them of danger. But here, danger could come and couldn’t hurt them. He liked that.  
Siobhan was taking us to a room where they found the keys in her bunker. The room was lined with shelves that has an array of items on them. Jars full of weird, coloured liquids, boxes filled with stuff that he couldn’t identify.  
Siobhan, Cas and I searched through them until Cas said, “Siobhan is this them?”  
Siobhan walked over to Cas and looked in the box. Inside were four strange, shaped pieces of metal.  
“Yes, that’s them” Siobhan answered “You’re good to go”

CASTIEL AU

After finding the keys, we did another sweep of the bunker. By the time we got back to Stephen again, he had finished his diagnostic.  
“Hey Boss” he said to Dean “We are good to go. Everything checks out”  
“Are you sure” Dean asked  
“As sure as I can be” Stephen replied “I wouldn’t risk the community Dean”  
“I know that Stephen, I’m just trying to be thorough” Dean said  
Dean turned to me and said “Let’s go home, Cas. We need to call a meeting”

SIOBHAN

I was relieved to get out of the bunker. The feeling of homesickness nearly overwhelmed me down there. It was too familiar, too the same. With Dean and Cas, I could see the subtle differences between them against my husbands, but even they still took my breath away sometimes, but the bunker looked the exact same, except for my bedroom.  
In a way I was sorry I had told them about the place. If the community decided to move there, I would be living in a place that looked like my home but wasn’t, living with men who looked like my husbands but weren’t and surrounded by lore books that should get me home but wouldn’t, because lore books were useless without magic.

I had just stumbled onto my own personal hell and called it home. That was just great.

On the journey back, Stephen peppered me with questions about the bunker. Anything that Sam had showed me, and I told him what I knew. We made it back to the camp without incident.  
Dean told Cas to spread the word that there would be a meeting after dinner time and that everyone was invited, including the children.  
I made to go back to my room, but Dean stopped me. “Siobhan I will need you at that meeting as well”  
“What? Dean your people won’t like that” I said  
“This is your bunker Siobhan; they will have questions” Dean said  
I finally nodded and turned on my heel and walked back to my room. Yes, this was my own personal hell.

Sometime later as I was sitting on my bed dreading the coming meeting, I heard Daniel call my name and ask if I was hungry.  
“Come in Daniel” I said  
He came in holding a bowl of stew in his hands.  
“You didn’t come for dinner” Daniel said “You’ve been sick, you need to eat”  
“You’re right. That was silly of me” I said, and he handed me the bowl  
Taking a bite, I hadn’t realised I was actually starving, and I tucked in gratefully.  
“Did you hear, Dean called a meeting and even us kids are invited” Daniel said sounding excited  
“I heard, even I’m going” I told him, and he looked at me surprised  
“You know what it’s about, don’t you? It has something to do with your trip today” Daniel asked  
“Daniel, this is for Dean to tell you about. But you’ll find out soon” I said smiling at him  
I heard Cas call me from outside the door “Come in Cas” I said  
He entered the room and smiled when he saw I wasn’t alone.  
“You two are becoming inseparable” Cas said  
I looked at Daniel and thought, “That’s not good”

CASTIEL AU

The look on Siobhan’s face stopped me cold. She looked at Daniel sadly but smiled when he turned to grin at her.  
What the hell was going on with her? He was going to find out. Sooner rather than later.  
“The meeting is about to start Siobhan. Dean sent me to get you” I said  
“Cas, is this really a good idea” I asked  
“I won’t leave your side Siobhan, I promise” I said  
“Neither will I, Siobhan” Daniel said, and I watched as her eyes filled with tears.

The meeting was held outside as they had no structure big enough to hold all of them. It was a warm pleasant evening and the sun was just beginning to set, as Daniel and I escorted Siobhan to the meeting. As we approached, I heard the rumblings coming from the crowd. Siobhan pressed closer to me and I took her hand in support as well as a show of solidarity.  
We took a place up near Dean and he nodded when he saw us. Dean brought the crowd to order but before he could start, a man in the crowd said, “What’s the angel doing here boss?”  
Dean looked at Siobhan and then answered the man. “That’s what you’re here to find out”

DEAN AU

On the way back from the bunker, I thought of how the community would react to going to a place that Siobhan had told them about. He knew the only way they would even think of going is if they knew her better. 

He usually ran the camp like the army. He was the boss man. What he says goes, if you didn’t like it, you could leave. The reason for that was, when he made a decision, it had to be followed. Because it was usually a matter of life and death.  
But this was different. He wanted to move to the bunker. From a strategic point of view, it was the most secure, from a comfort point of view it was a no brainer, but he wanted the security. He wanted a night where he could fall asleep, secure in the knowledge, his people were safe from attack. He trusted Siobhan, well trusted her enough. But he knew there was something she was keeping from them.  
His people didn’t know her. He had deliberately kept her away from them, because some feelings were too raw. But she wasn’t like other angels. She wasn’t like the ones from here and it was time his people knew that.

“Ok, as you all know by now, Siobhan is from a different universe. We are still trying to understand how she got here but right now that’s not important. Since she arrived here, she has told me the truth. She has answered all my questions, she’s co-operated. She also saved Daniels life”  
The crowd murmured at that and Dean held up his hands to quieten them.  
“Today, Siobhan brought me, Cas and Stephen to a bunker that she lives in with her family in her universe. We weren’t sure if it was here, but we found it. I can let Stephen answer any technical questions you have, but I want you to hear it from me, what I think. I want to move the community there”

This time the murmuring was louder, with some people saying, “Is he serious” and “No” but again I raised his hands and the crowd quietened. I explained to them, about the bedrooms, the showers, the books, but more importantly how secure it was and how we could keep everyone safe. I had their attention, but I knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

Thomas, the same man who asked why Siobhan was at the meeting was on his feet again. “Dean, I respect you, you have always kept us safe but how can you trust her?” he asked.  
“By listening to her story” I said “If she will tell it”  
Siobhan looked at me stunned.  
Turning to Siobhan I asked her “Will you tell my people your story?”

SIOBHAN

I was looking at Dean like an idiot.  
What was he thinking? These people didn’t care about her story. But as I looked out at them, they seemed to be waiting. Dean was waiting. I looked at Cas and he nodded his head and then I turned to Daniel. He whispered to me loudly “Tell them the stories you told me” and I saw a few people in the crowd smile. I squeezed his hand and stood up.

Making my way to Dean, I looked up at him and said to him “Where do I start?”  
He answered “Ireland”

I turned to the community feeling like I was at an AA meeting about to declare myself. And that’s how I started it.  
“Hello everyone. My name is Siobhan Winchester, and I was born in Ireland in 1985.

The crowd went into uproar and shouts of “What the hell” were heard. Dean stood up and gave a roar.  
“That’s enough. Now are you either going to hear her out or not?” Dean roared  
“Wait Dean” I said  
Turning to the community again I said “Listen I will tell my story. I promise I will answer any questions you have afterwards. Also, Stephen has my phone with pictures on it from my life there that you can look at. If after all that, you don’t believe me, I will leave this community and you will never have to see me again”  
“No Siobhan” Cas said standing up as Dean looked at me stunned.  
“Yes Cas” I said and turning to Dean I said, “You knew that was the risk here, didn’t you?” and Dean nodded his head gravely.  
“I’m sorry Siobhan” Dean said  
“I understand Dean, better than you think” I replied  
I turned back to the community and asked them “Do you want to hear my story?” and most of him nodded and agreed.  
Taking a deep breath, I began.  
I told them about Brodie, coming to America, being called and made an angel, meeting Dean, Cas, Sam and Jack, fighting the Empty, leaving Dean and Cas, them finding me asking me to take a chance on them, becoming the Conduit, fighting God, Jack taking his powers, Jack giving Cas his wings back, getting married and the hunt I was on when I ended up here. 

I told them everything, and I think they believed me. Like who could make this stuff up. Not me.  
When I finished, my mouth was dry from talking and you could hear a pin drop. One woman put up her hand and I nodded at her.  
“Are you really married to another Dean and another Castiel?” she asked  
I turned to Dean “Do you have my phone?  
He took it out of his pocket and handed it to me. I powered it up and brought up the pictures. Three weeks in another world and it was still going. I must ask Stephen how he charges it.  
I skimmed to the wedding pictures and I walked over to the woman and showed her the photos. I showed her to how to scroll from one to the next and soon there was a crowd around her, looking at them.  
More people put up their hands to ask a question.  
What were angels like in my world?  
What was my world like?  
Some even asked if their relatives were alive in my world?  
Then they asked about the bunker. I told them what I could. And then I said to them “Why would I tell you about the bunker here, when I could keep it for myself. I just want to repay Dean and Cas here for looking after me. I want Daniel to be safe, because he is my friend” I said smiling at him  
“At least give it a try. If you don’t like it, you can always move on” I said

I turned and sat down beside Cas feeling drained all of a sudden. I felt Daniel take my hand and give it a squeeze and I smiled down at him gratefully.

Dean waited about ten minutes letting people talk and watched as my phone was passed from person to person. I sat in silence with Cas and Daniel on either side of me. None of us spoke.  
Eventually Dean called them to order and asked, “Are you ready to vote?” and everyone nodded or said yes.  
“Ok” Dean said “So, a show of hands, who wants to move to the bunker to try it out?”  
Almost instantaneously every hand shot up.  
Dean grunted in surprise and said, “Are you sure now?” and the crowd laughed and roared “Aye”

CASTIEL AU

No one was more surprised then me when the community voted en masse to move to the bunker. I expected a little more resistance. I was even feeling a little envious at how willing the community was in accepting Siobhan. But then again, Siobhan wasn’t born an angel.  
Siobhan turned to me now and whispered that she was going back to her room. She looked tired all of a sudden, like she had used up all her energy telling her story. Of course, now I realise how hard it must be to tell the story of your life and family knowing you can’t get back to them.  
“I’ll walk back with you” I said  
“Cas, actually if you don’t mind, I’d rather you didn’t. Goodnight” Siobhan replied, and she got up and walked away.  
I saw Dean watching her as she walked away and then he looked at me. He looked stricken. I understood what he did. And I understood it hurt him to do it. But in order to show the community that he was on their side, he had to show them he was willing to abandon Siobhan if needs be. And Siobhan knew it. In a world where she had nothing, we had pulled the only security she had out from under her feet.

DEAN AU

It took me the better part of two hours to finish up with my people. They still had a lot of questions and I answered them as best I could.  
The phone was going down as the next best thing, for the technology as well as the pictures. There was a lot of good-natured joking at how I looked in a wedding outfit and saying I cleaned up good.  
Doc and Shelley said the same thing to Cas who blushed to the roots of his hair and I could see them looking curiously at both of us, but they never said anything.  
My elation at the vote to move to the bunker was tempered by the sight of Siobhan walking away from the meeting. She looked tired, worn out, defeated even, when yesterday she had looked radiant and well. And he knew he was the cause of it. Another thing to be ashamed about.  
He left the last few stragglers talking amongst themselves still passing the phone about. Cas had left a while ago, probably back to his own tent. He made his way to Siobhan’s room. As he was about to knock, he heard a sound that gave him pause. He recognized stifled sobs when he heard them. He stood there leaning his forehead against the door and listened as Siobhan cried her heart out.

SIOBHAN

I woke up the next morning with a weight on my chest. The tears I shed last night did nothing to relieve it. But then I had a lot to cry about. I had lost everything, my home, my husbands, my family. And not only that but I lost hope of ever going home. Even Jack couldn’t save me now. Because last night had revealed that in a few short months, I was going to die and there was nothing in a world without magic that I could do about. The only question is how I would survive the next few months in a world terrified of angels.

CASTIEL AU

After Siobhan had left the meeting to go back to her room, I stayed for a while, helping Dean answer the community’s questions.  
Of course, I didn’t have as many to deal with as only a few people liked talking to me. Doc and Shelley and Daniel peppered me with questions and when they got a turn with the phone and saw my counterpart in wedding clothes, the questions turned cheeky, but I didn’t mind. I stared at my counterpart with his arms round Siobhan and the other Dean and I barely recognized him.  
He looked deliriously happy. He was laughing into the camera while Siobhan and the other Dean were smiling at him with such love on their faces.  
I wondered what that felt like.  
My thoughts sobered when I thought, he probably wasn’t feeling like that now. Siobhan had been here three and a half weeks now. They must be frantic trying to find her.  
All of a sudden, I wanted to be alone.  
I walked up to Dean and putting my hand on his shoulder I told him I would see him later. He looked back at me, searching my eyes and nodded.

DEAN AU

I got up the next morning after sleeping only a couple of hours. A combination of excitement, dread and shame will do that to you. After he left Siobhan’s room without knocking, he went straight to his tent. He didn’t even call on Cas and Cas didn’t call on him. He’d worry about that later. Today was a busy day. Today, they started moving to the bunker. It would take about three-four days to move everything. They had only one working vehicle, everything else would have to be carried and the journey was 5 miles. They also had to worry about ambushes. Just another day in the life of Dean Winchester.

SIOBHAN

After washing and dressing I made my way to the food line. The usual stew was on, but I didn’t mind. I liked it. Reminded me of Ireland.  
A few people said hello to me, and I responded in kind. Others smiled in my direction and I smiled back. I found a place to sit and eat and I watched as the camp came to life as I ate.  
After a few minutes someone sat down beside me. I didn’t have to turn to know it was Cas. He had a quiet way about him, and I knew he was leaving it up to me to talk or not.  
“We have a busy few days ahead” I said  
“Yes” Cas replied “It will take some juggling to make sure everyone’s protected on the way”  
“Good morning”  
We both turned to see Dean standing behind us.  
Cas replied with a “Good morning” and I asked, “So where do you need me?”  
Dean looked away before answering, “We could use your help loading the truck and because I know you can handle yourself; I want you as an escort for the women and children”  
“Perfect” I said “I can do that”

DEAN AU

After only a couple of hours, the first group were ready to leave. We were keeping the groups small as they would be easier to protect. The truck was full of food supplies, bedding and clothes. The first group was women and children to help get them settled in first. Stephen was with them to get things up and running when we got to the bunker and Cas, Siobhan, me with three of my best men Michael, John, Morgan made up the guard.  
I walked up to Siobhan and handed her the weapons we took off of her when she arrived here.  
As she took the dagger, machete and gun off of me, she smiled briefly at me and said “Thanks, I’ll bring up the rear” and she walked towards the truck.  
I sighed and followed her.  
Moving out, Cas and I were at the front of the truck, John and Morgan were walking at the sides with Siobhan and Michael bringing up the rear.  
We decided to pace ourselves, as god knows how many trips back and forth it was going to take, and it was five miles in each direction.

We got there without incident. Cas and I escorted the women and children into the bunker, while Siobhan and the men unloaded the truck. After we had unloaded, we broke out some rations and ate before heading back. I gave Stephen strict instructions not to open the door, even if someone knocks.  
“I have a key; Cas has a key. Nobody needs to knock, ok?” I said to Stephen  
“I got it boss” he answered me  
I patted him on the back and climbed into the cab of the truck. I realised that it was Cas and Morgan that shared the cab with me. Looking through the rear window, I saw Siobhan sitting on the flat bed with Michael and John.  
Cas said, “She wanted to” and I nodded my head

…………………………………………………………………  
The next three days were physically and mentally exhausting. The journey on foot, one way and driving back again. Loading and unloading the truck. Taking supplies into the bunker. The risk of each journey either way. But all went well, and the community loved the bunker. Having their own rooms, showers, kitchen and space to move around. 

Siobhan had suggested on one of the trips that maybe they could set up a school and suggested Shelley might like to do that. Shelley loved being with the children. Other than that, she spoke very little, except to Michael who she was on guard detail with. She walked the five miles twice a day, did all the pulling and dragging and didn’t complain once. 

I found I wanted to make things right with her, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t have my counterpart’s feelings for her, I knew now I was already lost in that department, but I cared for her and considered her a friend.  
That is until I threw her to the wolves.

CASTIEL AU

We had just loaded the last of the equipment onto the truck. Except for Siobhan all who was left were men.  
I saw Siobhan take up her post at the rear of the truck, fully alert to her surroundings. As Michael passed me, I pulled him aside and asked if he would swap posts with me. For a minute, I thought he was going to say no, but he nodded and headed to the front of the truck.  
I walked over and joined Siobhan. If she was surprised, she didn’t show it.  
“Hi Siobhan” I said as I joined her  
“Hi Cas. Everything ok?” she said  
“I wanted to do this run with you, if that’s ok. If it’s not, I can swap again with Michael” I told her  
She sighed and looked at me “No that’s fine. I’d like that Cas”  
It was then, I noticed she had a backpack over her shoulders. I pointed at it and said “Do you want me to throw that onto the truck? You don’t need to carry extra weight?” I said  
“Are you calling me fat?” she asked  
I looked at her startled and said “NO” before I realised, she was teasing with me.  
“No Cas, its fine. It’s just some supplies, in case of emergency”  
I nodded my head but again I got the feeling she was hiding something.  
Dammit, I hated this.

SIOBHAN

So, this was it. Last trip. It was like Cas knew and came to join me. In a way I was glad. It would give me a chance to look at his face, to talk to him, the man who reminded me of my Cas, before I left.  
Cas and I walked in silence for a while before we talked about different things. He spoke about the kids racing around the bunker, so excited with everything they found. I warned him that they would have to make some areas off limits. Some of the kids were born after the war started and had never seen equipment or books like it. Cas agreed with me. He told me he thought the school was a very good idea.  
“I think you would make an excellent teacher, Siobhan” Cas said “The kids could learn so much from you, and Daniel is crazy about you”

God, my chest hurt so much listening to him. I was dreading the conversation I needed to have with him and Dean once we arrived at the bunker. I was taking a risk even having the conversation with them, but I hoped they would realise that there was no point killing me when I was going to die anyway. 

“That’s sweet of you to say, Cas but I don’t think that’s a good idea” I replied

When we were one mile out from the bunker, I started to shake. I was terrified. Truth be told I was terrified in one way or other since I arrived here, but the revelations of the last week, had left me so shell shocked, I could barely speak. But I wanted to say something to Cas before we got there.

Still walking behind the truck, I reached over and took Cas’s hand. He looked at me in surprise. “Thanks for everything Cas. I really mean that. You have been a great friend to me here”  
Cas stared at me for a moment and said “I don’t know about that but you’re welcome…………………wait a minute, Siobhan, what’s going on? That sounded like a goodbye”  
I smiled at him and I said “It’s also a thank you”

CASTIEL AU

The call from Dean shouting “Head’s up” stopped my conversation with Siobhan. We walked the rest of the way in silence, keeping an eye on our surroundings.  
As we approached the bunker, a man came from the treeline to our left. I recognized him as one of ours, probably on look out. He approached Dean and greeted him with a handshake “You got here boss. All done”  
“All done Joseph, how are the scouts?” Dean asked  
“The tree’s here give us a good vantage point. We can see out for miles in either direction” Joseph said.  
“Good, is a roster done up for watch duty” Dean asked  
“Yes, Boss and it’s on your desk in your office” Joseph said  
Dean looked at him in surprise “I have an office?” and Joseph laughed and ran back towards the treeline.

DEAN AU

I laughed at Joseph’s retreating back and the relief of getting here unscathed. Finally, some good luck. I turned to help unload the truck to find my men and Siobhan already hard at it. Siobhan was unloading equipment and leaving it at the top of the steps leading down to the bunker. Michael then took it from there and carried it down into the bunker. More volunteers came out to help.  
It was then I realised that in the three days of back and forth to the bunker, Siobhan had never gone in, not even to use the bathroom and today was no different.  
Once the truck was unloaded, I told Cas I would drive the truck into the garage, and they could bring the remaining equipment into the bunker and I left them to it. 

After parking the truck, I made my way to the map table room (I needed to come up with a better name for that) to find it a hub of activity. People were running here and there putting stuff away.  
I made my way over to Cas and grinned at him “We did it, Cas”  
Cas returned the grin and said “It looks like they like it” looking around at everyone.  
Putting my arm around Cas’s shoulders I looked around and realised someone was missing,  
“Where’s Siobhan, Cas?”

SIOBHAN

I watched Dean driving off in the truck to park it, so it wouldn’t be seen. And I saw Cas disappear down the steps with his hands full.  
I couldn’t follow. I felt if I went in, I wouldn’t come out alive. It was a crawling, ugly feeling all over my body, that had me gasping for breath.  
I sat on the trunk of a fallen tree and waited.

It could have been five minutes or five hours later when I hear Dean call my name in relief, such was my state of mind.  
“Siobhan, what are you still doing out here?” I heard Dean ask  
I turned to see both Dean and Cas coming towards me.  
“Siobhan, come on, you have to see them, they are delighted with the bunker. You made that possible” Dean said

“Dean, Cas I’m not going in, I’m leaving” I said  
Dean looked at me puzzled “Leaving, Siobhan you can’t leave, where would you go? Its not safe for you out there”  
“Its not safe for me here either Dean” I replied  
Both Dean and Cas looked shocked, but it was Cas that spoke, “Siobhan, neither Dean nor I would allow anything to happen to you, not again. Not after what happened with Catherine”  
“Cas, you might not have a choice, if it’s the will of the community” I said  
Dean’s face went like stone and he said “You need to explain that Siobhan”

I was trembling so hard that I sat back down on the tree trunk. Looking up at them, I told them my secret,  
“I know you know I was keeping something from you but please believe me, all I had were suspicions, I didn’t fully understand or believe until three nights ago after the meeting. At first my mind rejected it; I couldn’t believe it but that night I had my suspicions confirmed”  
“Suspicions, Siobhan, what suspicions?” Cas asked

I took a deep breath and answered him “When I felt the baby move inside me. I’m pregnant”

Dean and Cas looked at me in disbelief. 

It was Dean that recovered first. “Siobhan how is that possible, I mean up to an month ago you were an angel, and I know your human now but you wouldn’t be able to tell this soon if you were pregnant, unless you were with someone here and ……………”

Dean broke off to look at Cas and Cas held up his hands and said “Don’t look at me”

“DEAN” I shouted at him  
“Listen to me, I was with my husbands the morning that I arrived here. Biology 101 is that it can take a woman 24 – 72 hours to get pregnant after intercourse. Which means when I arrived here and lost my grace and became human again, I became pregnant in that time. The reason I know how pregnant I am is because……

I raised my shirt to show them my swollen belly

“It’s a Nephilim”

To be continued


	4. Summer of Loss

Summer of Loss Part 4

DEAN (Our Universe)  
After the funeral ended, our friends stayed with us for the rest of the day and night and we talked and laughed and drank and shared our stories of Siobhan, some of which even Cas and I didn’t know.  
The next day Cas took them home. We had decided to stay on the island for a few days. We needed to be alone together to grieve. We didn’t leave each other’s side the whole time. Talking, not talking, sleeping, not sleeping, we clung to each other while making love and while resting, we were always touching. Reassuring ourselves that we still had each other.  
And we made two promises to each other. First, we were going to find out who was responsible for Siobhan’s death and secondly, we weren’t going to lose each other while doing it.  
The morning of our departure, Cas and I made love on the beach with the sunrise coming up behind us. It was the dawn of a new day and a new chapter in our lives.

SIOBHAN  
Dean and Cas stared at my swollen belly in shock.  
“Now you see why I can’t stay here Dean. The community will do to me, what they did to Kelly Kline”  
“No, we won’t allow it Siobhan” Cas said  
“How can you stop it, Cas if the whole community are behind it” I said  
Looking completely bewildered Dean ran his fingers through his hair “I don’t understand how this is possible. There is no angel power here, how can this child be?”  
“It’s protected while in the womb, Dean” Cas said and he looked at me, realising what I had realised four nights ago.  
“What” Dean asked looking from Cas to me  
“Dean” I said “No human had ever survived a Nephilim birth. And a Nephilim born in a world with no angel power won’t survive either. We are both going to die in a few months’ time. If I stay here, the community could kill me today. All I’m asking from you is a head start”

DEAN AU  
I couldn’t believe what Siobhan was telling me. Now I could understand her secrecy. It was self-preservation. And I didn’t blame her. After I had told her the story about Kelly Kline, she must have been terrified when she realised, she was in the same boat.  
But there was one flaw in her argument. If she and the child were going to die anyway, they were no danger to the community. But if they could find some way to get Siobhan back to her universe, then maybe she had a chance.  
It looked like he was calling another meeting.

CASTIEL AU  
Dean put his hand on my shoulder and said “Cas, get everyone to gather in the garage, I need to speak to them.  
“Dean, what if they………..”I said  
“They won’t, I will make sure of it” Dean said.  
I walked over to Siobhan and held her face  
“I will come back and stay with you, ok” and she nodded. I turned on my heel to gather everyone.

SIOBHAN  
“Siobhan don’t look at me like that” Dean said “I am not sending you out into this world, pregnant and alone. You will stay here. We will find some way to get you home. There has to be something in the books”.  
“Dean without magic or angel power, those books will be useless” I said  
“Maybe that is true in your world, maybe it’s true here but I’m not going to take it on fact” Dean replied “Siobhan, there is nothing Cas and I want more than to see you back with your Dean and Cas. And now they are going to be fathers. How could I ever look them in the eye, if they came here and I hadn’t done everything I could to save you both”  
Tears filled my eyes and I walked into his arms. Dean held me tight and just for a minute I pretended he was my Dean and I let the tears fall.

CASTIEL AU  
The community were puzzled by the new meeting, but I told them that Dean would be along to explain everything. I walked back out of the bunker to find Dean holding Siobhan.  
This was a calculated risk on Dean’s part. If the community rose up en masse, we would have no hope. That’s why he was going to stay with Siobhan.  
“Dean, they are gathered for you. I want to stand at your side while you do this, but I think I should stay here with Siobhan in case………………….” I said  
“I understand Cas” Dean said  
Siobhan smiled up at Dean and whispered “Thank you” to him and he smiled at her. As he went to leave, I felt real fear for Dean and I stopped him, not knowing what I was going to say,  
“Dean, wait……….”  
I don’t know what he saw on my face, but he walked back to me and put his hands on either side of my neck. He stared into my eyes and said, “It’ll be ok Cas” and then I felt very briefly his thumb caressing my cheek and then he was gone.  
I stumbled back to Siobhan and sat down beside her feeling winded. She smiled sadly at me and said “That’s what I call being Winchestered. My Dean does it to me and my Cas all the time. There’s no resisting it”  
Such were my feelings at that moment, I didn’t even try to deny it.

DEAN AU  
I couldn’t believe my future with this community was coming to a head in the next couple of minutes. Just as we finally found some security.  
But I remembered how I felt after Kelly Kline was killed and how it still eats me alive to this day. I would not add Siobhan to the list. I had enough blood on my hands.  
I made my way to the top of the garage and called for quiet.  
“My friends, I have just found out some news, that I know some of you, hell all of you won’t like but I’m asking you to hear me with an open mind. Will you??  
There were puzzled looks but also nods from the crowd.  
“I have just found out that Siobhan is pregnant………with a Nephilim”  
The gasps from the community and the murmuring grew so loud that I felt a tingle of fear down my spine  
I heard a shout “Now that’s enough” and I looked to see Doc Samuel coming towards me. The crowd quietened some bit and when Samuel reached me, he said “Dean are you sure?”  
I told him “Siobhan is sure”  
Turning back to the community I said “Listen to me, Siobhan told me something that I didn’t know before. A human cannot survive a Nephilim birth, which means Siobhan will die in a couple of months but also the Nephilim, the baby won’t survive being born in our world, because as soon as it’s born, it too will die.  
Samuel turned to me and asked “What do you want of us Dean?  
“Your help. If Siobhan stays here, they will both die in a few months having never been a danger to our community. But if we help Siobhan, using the books in this bunker, we might find a way to send her home and again, the community will not be in danger. I know angels have done us wrong. But Siobhan hasn’t, not once has she asked anything of us, and she isn’t now. She wants to walk away and take her chances out there. Are you really going to ask me to let her go pregnant and afraid, to die alone in this world?”

SIOBHAN  
The fear I was feeling was like a shadow behind me waiting to pounce. I wanted to run away screaming, be anywhere but here.  
Cas put his arm around me and said “It’ll be ok, Siobhan. Listen to me, if the community turn you away, I will come with you. I won’t let you be alone”  
I looked at Cas in surprise “You’d do that”  
“Of course. I can’t break my promise to Castiel now” Cas replied  
At my puzzled look he told me “I pray to him every day, Siobhan, I pray to Jack to come get you. I tell your Cas how you are doing, and I promise him every day that I will keep you safe. I intend to keep that promise”  
My heart swelled with love for this man, “Cas you are the best of men in two universes, you know that, but I couldn’t take you away from Dean. He needs you here and you need him”  
Cas blushed but answered “Dean would be fine without me”  
I grabbed his chin between my thumb and finger and made him look at me “No he wouldn’t”.  
I heard the sounds of footsteps coming up from the bunker and we turned to see Dean approaching us with a smile  
“They said yes”

DEAN AU  
Both Siobhan and Cas stood at my announcement.  
“Are you serious Dean?” Siobhan asked  
“Very” I said “Doc was on my side and we managed to persuade them. A few of them have volunteered to help with the research”  
Siobhan and Castiel were both looking at me as if I had just hung the moon, I was getting a bit hot under my collar.  
“I repeat was I just told Cas; you are the best of men in both universes. Thank you both” Siobhan said  
Knowing I was blushing furiously I said “Come on, let’s get you settled into a room”  
“And I’ll take that” Cas said taking the rucksack off her back  
I held out my hand and Siobhan took it, slipping her other hand into Cas’s and together we climbed down the steps to the bunker.

SIOBHAN  
Despite Dean’s reassurances, my heart was pounding a staccato in my chest. What if they changed their minds, what if Dean and Cas couldn’t get to me? No, I couldn’t think like that. If I did, I might as well give up right now.  
The baby I was carrying inside of me was Cas’s and Dean’s. My husbands, who I loved more than life itself. And I already loved this baby. And if we both died, it would happen knowing I did everything in my power to stop it.  
We entered the bunker and standing at the top of the stairs, I looked down into the map room. Heads swivelled up to look at us, at me, and I saw fear and curiosity, but no hostility and I let out a shaky breath.  
“Thank you. I really appreciate this” I said down to them.  
Doc Samuel called up “Welcome Siobhan, let’s get you looked at ok?” and I nodded.  
The three of us descended the stairs and we followed the Doc back to the bedrooms. “I’ve set you up in a room between mine and Cas’s, that way one of us is always at hand” Dean said  
I couldn’t speak for the lump in throat, so I just squeezed his hand.  
When we got to the room, the Doc asked Dean and Cas to wait outside.  
“No”, they can come in” I said  
“Siobhan its ok, we can wait here” Cas said  
“No, no more secrets. I want you to know everything about this pregnancy, so you can reassure your people” I said speaking to the three of them  
“Ok Siobhan, we can do that” Dean said  
I went into the room and lay on the bed. Dean and Cas stood at the end of the bed while the Doc came up beside and with a “May I” he lifted my shirt to examine my stomach.  
Doc whistled “You have grown”  
At Dean’s puzzled look, Doc told him “When I examined Siobhan after she woke up after Catherine’s attack her stomach was slightly swollen, I put it down to not eating, but now, Siobhan you look like your 4-5 months pregnant. What is the gestation of a Nephilim birth anyway?  
“From what my Cas told me; Kelly Kline was just under six months, but I know I’m not following the same timetable”  
“I’d say not” Doc said “If you are this size after just a month pregnant, you’ll be giving birth in half that time”  
“Yes, I think you’re right. I don’t know how I know but, this baby will be due in two months”  
“Two months” Dean exclaimed “That does not give us a whole lot of time. We need to get started straight away”  
“Wait a minute Dean” Doc said “Siobhan, how do you feel? Tell me everything since you got here”  
I pulled down my shirt and sat up on the bed. Thinking back to when I first got here was not pleasant.  
“When I first got here, as you know I was very sick. My entrance into this world took its toll. The headache eventually faded but my upset stomach never did. But after the attack by Catherine, once I woke up, I was different, I felt different. I felt amazing, healthy……………..I felt like an angel again.  
At first that’s what I thought, that somehow, I had got my powers back, but my stomach was getting larger, not smaller. My mind refused to acknowledge it until the night after the meeting, as I was lying in bed and I felt the baby moving inside me, I couldn’t deny it any longer and I couldn’t deny that it wasn’t a human pregnancy. It was the Nephilim that was making me feel so good.  
“Your bruises” Cas said “The baby healed your bruises”  
“Yes, and healed whatever damage Catherine inflicted as well, which must have been worse than we thought, if I was out for six days” I said  
“So, the baby is strong already” Doc asked  
“Nephilim babies are always stronger than the angel that sired him” I said quietly  
Dean put his hand on my shoulder, “So, we’ve got work to do”

DEAN Our Universe  
Cas and I arrived back to the bunker to find Eileen and Sam doing research.  
Both of them stood up and embraced us, with Sammy crushing me to him tightly. I didn’t mind.  
“So, what are you up to?” I asked when Sam finally let me go.  
Eileen with her arm still around Cas said “Let us show you”  
Eileen led us over to her laptop sitting on the desk in the research room. On the screen was a graph depicting what looked like voice modulations.  
“We’ve been trying to track the phone call made to you, Dean, from the hunter we thought was Harry. We think we finally have something” Eileen told us  
“Yeah, really. What is it?” I asked  
“Dean, the call came from forty miles away………….from Lawrence” Sam replied  
“Hold on, Lawrence, Kansas, our hometown?” I asked  
“Yeah” Sam said  
I turned to Cas “That can’t be a coincidence”  
“No, it can’t” said Cas “We’re leaving now”  
“Wait Cas” Sam said “Let me download the tracking onto my phone. We can get a more accurate reading, once we are there”  
“Hurry Sam” Cas said  
Once Sam was ready, Cas took Eileen’s and my hands and Sam put his hand on Cas’s shoulder and in the blink of an eye we were standing on Main Street, Lawrence. 

CASTIEL Our Universe  
Sam took out his phone and started tracking the call again. He looked at us and said, “This way”.  
Following him away from the town centre, we were not long finding ourselves in the suburbs. Streets lined with trees, pretty houses with abandoned toys, dogs barking as we passed, we continued on until Sam stopped all of a sudden.  
He looked back at us and said “Definitely not a coincidence”  
“Why do you say that?” I asked  
Dean looking over Sam’s shoulder and then up at the house we stopped outside, Dean turned to me, his face ashen and said “This is where our old house stood, this is where our Mom died”  
“Dean I thought the house burned to the ground” I said  
“It did” Sam replied “They obviously rebuilt, but the house looks empty. Is it Cas? Is it empty?”  
A quick scan revealed it was. I had a quick look around and confident we weren’t being watched I flew us into the interior of the house.

DEAN Our Universe  
This was more than coincidence. This was deliberate. Staging a call from the site of our old house. Luring us out into a false hunt. Killing………….  
I took a deep breath. Why, why now, why us? Why Siobhan? The questions were going around and around in my head driving me crazy.  
Cas’s face appeared before me and he put his hands on my shoulders, “Dean, breathe. I’m here. We are all here”  
I nodded “I know, I’m good, I’m good Cas”  
Sam turned to us and said “The signal is still coming from here”  
“What” said Eileen “It’s still active?”  
“Yeah” Sam replied  
“Ok” I said “Lets split up and watch yourselves”  
Sam and Eileen made for the upstairs, while Cas and I took the downstairs. I checked the kitchen and the garage leading off it. Except for basic electrical appliances the place was empty. Cas met me in the hallway.  
“I checked the living room and the downstairs bathroom, nothing” Cas said  
We heard a shout from upstairs. It was Eileen.  
“SAM” she roared.  
Cas and I ran for the stairs taking them two at a time.  
We found Eileen and Sam in one of the bedrooms, staring at one of the walls. Both of them looking stricken.  
Then we saw what they were looking at. On the wall were four pictures. One of each of us. Me, Cas, Sam and Eileen and I knew from the pictures that they were taken after Siobhan was killed. Over the pictures were words and my blood boiled when I saw them  
EENY, MEENY, MINY, MOE, WHO WILL BE THE NEXT TO GO?  
“Son of a bitch” I yelled

SAM Our Universe  
I took out my phone and dialled Rowena. She answered on the first ring.  
“Sam, what is it? Rowena asked  
“We are in Lawrence Kansas; can you get here…………Never mind” I said as Rowena was already standing in front of me  
I took her by the shoulders and turned her around to show her the wall.  
“Bollocks” she swore “Now they’re taunting you”  
“Can you do a spell Rowena, see when this was left………..wait, could there be someone watching us now?” I asked  
“Cas……………” I said but he was already gone  
I turned to Rowena, but she was gone as well, “Son of a bitch”

DEAN Our Universe  
“Dean”  
I turned at my name to find Cas behind me. “I couldn’t see anyone hanging around. If they are watching, they are doing it some other way”  
“Yes, they are” said Sam “The signal has stopped transmitting. They know we found their message”  
“Who’s message? Who’s doing this?” I yelled  
“Let’s find out” said another voice behind me and Rowena stood there with her hands full of ingredients.  
“Stop doing that, both of you. Is it so hard to appear in front of me” I said,  
“I didn’t want to scare you” said Cas looking confused  
Despite everything I saw Sam’s lips twitch and I thought, that’s my Cas.  
Rowena set up her spell and got to work. She was chanting for about five minutes when the spell started to work. Rowena’s eyes flashed a silvery lilac colour and she walked around the room with her hands waving softly in front of her.  
She stopped in front of the wall that had our pictures on it. She turned and said “I’m sensing angel grace and it’s not yours Castiel, I’m sorry.  
Cas looked at me and said “Son of a bitch”

SAM  
Cas flew us back to the bunker to regroup. I was thinking about what we knew. The angel Turiel sabotaging the zahora in Heaven, the Book of the Damned being copied from Hell, and a lure to get us out in the woods.  
Who had that influence, that angels and demons and possibly humans were working together against us?  
The timing was perfect too with Jack out of the way.  
There was something there, some knowledge just out of my reach, I couldn’t put my finger on it and the more I tried, the farther away it got, so I put it aside.  
Then I thought of something else……………..  
“Rowena, if angels, demons and humans are meeting together on Earth, could you do a spell to find them?” I asked her  
Rowena looked intrigued by the idea, “You know what Sam you might be right. Angels, demons and humans all give off their own kind of energy, working a spell to find all three in close proximity should be doable. I need to consult the Book of the Damned, see what I need. I’ll get back as soon as I can, I promise” and she disappeared.  
“Great idea, Sammy” Dean said patting me on the back.  
“Let’s hope it works” I replied.

SIOBHAN Day 31  
The next few days, I didn’t push my luck.  
I stayed in my room researching with Cas or Dean keeping me company. Having a deadline really focuses you but even with all that, I noticed that the one visitor I was missing was Daniel.  
I didn’t ask about him and Dean or Cas didn’t mention him either. My pregnancy was probably a step too far for him and I didn’t blame him. I didn’t blame any of them for being skittish. So, I limited my presence.  
I was alone when there was a knock at the door.  
“Come in” I said, and Doc walked into the room.  
“You need fresh air and exercise” he said by way of greeting “Doctors orders” he said when he saw I was going to protest.  
I had to admit, he was right. The pregnancy was giving me huge amounts of energy and I needed to burn some off.  
I got up and took the arm he held out to me and we left my room. We didn’t meet anyone until we entered the research room and there siting at various tables were around 20 people all with books open in front of them researching. For me.  
The conversation stopped when they saw me, with some looking at me expressionless, some gave tentative smiles and some even said hello.  
I murmured hello back to them as I passed through and Doc led me over to the steps and up out of the bunker.  
Once outside, I took a deep breath of fresh clean air. I looked up at a brilliant clear sky, sun shining and warm on my face.  
“Thanks Doc, I didn’t realise how cooped up I’ve been” I said  
Leading me towards the woods he said “From now on, you take a walk every day. If I’m not available, I’m sure Cas or Dean will accompany you”  
I smiled at him, “Sounds good to me Doc” I said  
“How are you feeling Siobhan” Doc asked  
“Well besides feeling the size of a house, great” I replied “I don’t have any pain, or discomfort, not like my first pregnancy”  
At his enquiring look, I told him about Brodie, “But that was a long time ago. I’d nearly forgotten what it’s like to be pregnant, not that this is a normal one but, I’m good Samuel”  
We had nearly gotten to the treeline when a movement caught my eye and Daniel appeared in front of me, I didn’t know who was more surprised.  
“Hello Daniel” I said  
Daniel blushed and mumbled a “Hi” and kept going. Tears smarted at my eyes, but I blinked them away.  
“Siobhan” Doc started but I stopped him  
“No, it’s ok, I understand really Samuel. Dean has told me what it was like here. I understand everyone’s reaction, that’s why I’m keeping myself scarce”  
“Siobhan, angels killed his parents in front of him. He was eight. They went for Daniel first but his parents sacrificed themselves so he could escape. And he did, but barely. He didn’t speak for the first six months he was here. I haven’t seen him smile much until he met you. You brought him out of himself”  
“And now I’m pregnant with a Nephilim” I said  
“No Siobhan. Now you’re pregnant with a Nephilim, that’s going to kill you. You are just another person he loves, that’s going to be killed by an angel”

DEAN AU  
I had finished my rounds of the bunker, calling in to see how families were doing, getting an up-to-date report from Stephen who was more than enthusiastic to explain everything in painful detail, and finally to stop off at the research room to ask the volunteers, if they had anything.  
They had put anything of value to one side for Siobhan to look at, as she was the closest to an expert in these things, as magic was already gone from our world before most people had discovered we even had it.  
I then made my way to Siobhan’s room bringing the books that had been set aside, to find Cas outside waiting.  
When he spotted me, he said “She’s not answering, Dean”  
“Open it” I said, and he did. We both looked in to find the room empty,  
“She’s gone with Doc” a voice said behind us  
I turned to see Michael standing there.  
“Yeah, Doc took her out for a walk” Michael said  
“Thanks Michael” I replied. I went in and left the books on her desk.  
“Hungry?” I asked Cas  
“I could eat” Cas replied  
Leaving Siobhan’s room, I gave in to the urge to touch Cas and threw my arm around his shoulders saying in jest “Make way to the kitchen then” and was rewarded with a laugh from Cas.  
Arriving at the kitchen which was busy with activity, we helped ourselves to food and I said “Let’s go back to my room to eat”  
For the next hour, as we ate, I enjoyed just being with Cas knowing I couldn’t deny my feelings for him any longer. I wondered would I ever get the courage to tell him. Did he feel the same? Or would I lose my best friend forever.  
The thoughts of Cas not being in my life filled me with an emptiness that was painful to think about, never mind experience. I knew though that I would have to make a decision, one way or another and stick to it. In the meantime, looking over at Cas, just being with him was enough.

CASTIEL Our Universe  
While we waited for Rowena, I told Dean I was going to Heaven to check in with Naomi. I saw Dean hesitate and then he said “Ok”.  
I understood. We hadn’t been out of each other’s company in a week.  
I took his hand and said “Come with me”  
Looking surprised Dean said, “What about Naomi?”  
Leaning in to kiss him I said, “If she doesn’t like it, she can fire me” and I was rewarded with Dean Winchester’s crooked smile.  
Arriving in Heaven, we made our way to Naomi’s office. We met a few angels on the way, but no one stopped us.  
At Naomi’s office, I knocked once, and she called “Come in”  
If she was surprised to see Dean, she didn’t show it, in fact she greeted us both warmly.  
“Castiel, Dean it’s good to see you both. What can I do for you?” Naomi asked  
I told her what we found in Lawrence, Kansas and her face darkened. I also told her about the spell that Rowena was going to perform.  
“I’d like to be there, Castiel, when Rowena finds the people responsible. I want to fight at your side, if it comes to one” Naomi said  
“Oh, it will, you better believe it” Dean said with steel in his voice.  
“Naomi, have you found out anything here” I asked  
“A few things. I’m just waiting on Zadkiel to come back and then I was going to contact you. He’s double checking something for me. I wanted to be sure before I said anything” 

SAM Our Universe  
After everyone had left, I took Eileen by the hand and brought her back to our room. I kissed her almost roughly, but she returned the kiss just as fierce, both of us feeling slightly desperate after seeing our pictures on the wall with those menacing words. We tore at each other’s clothes, ripping buttons and sleeves until I had her naked underneath me and I showed her how much I loved her. I couldn’t lose her, not again and I told her that over and over again. She had died once just when I was starting to develop feelings for her and Chuck had used that knowledge to bring her back from the dead, to use her as a spy, unknown to her. But she was here now, and he was never losing her again. 

DEAN Our Universe  
Waiting was never my strong suit, but I sat quietly in Naomi’s office and waited for Zadkiel to arrive. Naomi had contacted him, so he knew we were there.  
After around fifteen minutes, Zadkiel walked into the office.  
“You are not going to like this Naomi” Zadkiel announced  
“No shit” I muttered under my breath. Out loud I said “Spit it out”  
Zadkiel glanced at me a bit nervously and then turned to Naomi.  
“There’s a tracking spell on both you and Castiel, Naomi” Zadkiel said  
“WHAT” Castiel shouted  
“Did you disable it? Naomi asked  
“No” Zadkiel answered  
“Why not? Naomi asked  
“Because” I said, “this Turiel would know you found it and know that we were onto him”  
Zadkiel nodded and said “Yes exactly”  
Turning to Cas I said “I think we should leave it until we are ready to make a move. Anything else?”  
“I found no evidence that Turiel was working with anyone else, but he did try to recruit some of our brothers and sisters” Zadkiel said  
“How so?” Cas asked  
“He was asking questions, to see if they were happy with their lot, were they happy to be back from the Empty, happy with Jack as their new God. They thought nothing of it at the time but now with what’s happened, they realise he was trying to find……………..dissenters among us. They asked me to apologise to you both, if they had known……………..” Zadkiel trailed off  
I looked at Cas and he looked as frustrated as I was, but hindsight is a great thing.  
Cas turned to Naomi “Is there anything of Turiel’s that we can use for a spell to track him?”  
Zadkiel looked at Cas and said “I know something you can use”

SAM Our Universe  
Eileen and I were lying in bed talking quietly, when my phone rang. I wasn’t surprised to see Cezar’s name coming up on my screen. Ever since he and Jessie had come to the wedding, they had been regular visitors and callers, to all of us. But since the funeral, he had rung me a couple of times to see how Dean and Cas were doing.  
“Hi Cezar, how are you?” I answered  
“Hey Sam., Good to hear your voice man” Cezar replied  
“Your too, Cezar, listen” I said “Dean and Cas are back from the island, if you want to call Dean himself”  
“That’s good to know, but I have some info that might be better coming from you” Cezar said  
I sat up in the bed, taking Eileen with me “Really, ok what is it?”  
“Well remember Aaron that I got to contact you about Harry Murdoch?” Cezar asked  
“Yeah” I replied  
“Well, Aaron was a bit pissed that someone was pretending to be Harry. They were friends you know. Anyway, he started checking into it and he found that a hunter was asking anyone he met about, how would they like to get in with a new player, someone who was powerful, who was going to be the only game in town, and he was rewarding handsomely for cooperation. This guy always played both sides of the fence, you know what I mean, but he did get a bite.”  
“Who was this hunter and who did he get?” I asked

DEAN Our Universe  
Holding the moon rock that Zadkiel had given me, I didn’t realise at first that Cas had flew us straight to our room, until he took it out of my hand and laid it on the desk.  
Holding my face with both hands he said, “I don’t know about you but I have had enough for one day” and he kissed me briefly “And I haven’t had enough of this today” and he kissed me again.  
Smiling at him I said “Do I look like I’m stopping you” 

SIOBHAN  
I was stricken by Doc’s words and hated that I was causing Daniel such pain.  
“Should I try talk to him, Samuel” I asked  
“Maybe give him another couple of days to sort it through his head, yeah” Doc answered, and I agreed with him.  
I wasn’t much company late on in the evening when Dean and Cas shared dinner with me in my room.  
They talked about their day with me and I told them the books they had given me was good stuff but again, needed magic to work. It was feeling pretty hopeless. I couldn’t help but ask Dean about Daniel and he confirmed about Daniels parents and how they died saving him which made me more depressed.  
I pleaded tiredness and said I was going to turn in early.  
Usually, I could separate them from my husbands but tonight both of them were looking at each other with such love on their faces I thought maybe they had declared to each other, that it hurt to look at them.  
They both kissed my forehead and said good night and they left. I lay there, thinking of Daniel, thinking of my Dean and Cas, thinking about our child, thinking about our wonderful life and where had it all gone terribly wrong.

CASTIEL AU  
When Dean and I left Siobhan’s room together, Dean suggested we have a drink in his room. Just as I was about to say Yes, Michael came around the corner and said that Stephen was looking for him.  
Dean looked back me saying “Sorry Cas, duty calls. Later ok?” and I nodded.  
Standing where he left me, I realised where I might be needed.  
Since Daniel arrived two years ago, he refused to be treated like a kid, he wouldn’t bunk in with another family or allow to be cared as such, and he always had his own room. In the bunker, it was no different.  
I knocked on the door and said “Daniel, it’s me Cas”  
Daniel opened the door and said “Do you need me for something Cas”  
“No” I answered “I just wanted to see if you were ok?  
He lowered his eyes and said “I’m fine”  
“Ok” I said “But if you need anything or just want to talk, I’m always here ok”  
I made to walk away when he asked, “Is Siobhan ok?”  
“She’s fine Daniel. And Daniel, she understands you know. She knows what was taken from you and she’s not angry with you. She hates that you’re hurting” I said as gently as I could.  
He nodded and turned to go back into his room, but he left the door open. I followed him in and closed the door. While he sat on his bed, I sat on a chair opposite him and waited. It was sometime before he started talking and when he did, we talked for hours.

DEAN AU  
Stephen had discovered something amazing. Something he was eager to discuss with Cas, but he couldn’t find him. He wasn’t in his room and when he peeked in on Siobhan, she was fast asleep and alone.  
Dammit anyway, it would have to wait till morning. He made his way to his room realising he was more tired than he thought. Yawning, he thought ok it can definitely wait until morning.  
……………………………………………………………….  
“NNNNNNNNNNNNooooooooooooooooooooooooooo”  
I sat up in the bed. What the hell was that? What woke me?  
“No stop it, don’t please” he heard again quieter though this time.  
It finally pierced his sleep fogged brain that it was coming from outside the room. Siobhan.  
He climbed out of bed wearing just sweatpants. Grabbing a t-shirt off the chair, he left the room. In the corridor Cas was already at Siobhan’s door.  
“Did you hear…………” Cas said, and I nodded.  
Knocking on the door Cas said “Siobhan………….we’re coming in” and he opened the door.  
Siobhan was in bed, asleep but she looked like she was having a nightmare.  
Reaching the bed, I bent down and shook her gently “Siobhan, wake up, you need to wake up”  
She quietened down and after a couple of seconds her eyes flew open.  
“Dean” she whispered and then she smiled. A beautiful smile of a woman in love.  
“Dean, you’re here” she whispered again  
Oh god no, I thought, no no  
“Siobhan, I’m not your Dean remember” and I watched as she blinked slowly as awareness sank in.  
“Dean” she said looking more awake “Dean I’m sorry, I just……………”  
“Siobhan, stop it, its fine. You were having a bad dream, it’s understandable” I replied  
Throwing her arm across her face, she said “I miss them so god damn much right now”  
I looked at Cas feeling completely helpless, Cas looked no better than I.  
“Dean” Siobhan asked, “Do you have my phone?”  
“Yes, it’s in my room, I’ll go get it” I said  
When I got back, Cas was sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard, talking quietly with Siobhan.  
I closed the door and Siobhan smiled and said “Sit” patting the space beside her.  
Sitting on the other side of her, I handed her the phone and leaned back against the headboard. I glanced at Cas while Siobhan turned on the phone and opened the photos. For about a minute she just looked, lingering on one photo and then another. When she got to a certain picture of Dean and Sam, both of whom looked like they were holding each other up, they were laughing so hard, Siobhan started giggling.  
“What” I said smiling  
“I remember this photo being taken” Siobhan said “Eileen and I are standing over here somewhere” waving her hand to the right of the phone “And Cezar had taken my phone to take a picture of Dean and Sam. They were so engrossed with each other that they didn’t even know Cezar had taken the picture. They were so funny and happy and relaxed. We had beaten Chuck only the week before”  
She moved on to another photo and told us the story of that one and then another and then another. We laughed at her stories and told her a few of ours. When her eyes started closing, she whispered to us “Just stay another while” and I told her we weren’t going anywhere.

DEAN AU  
Siobhan had fallen asleep tucked into my chest. Cas and I were both over six foot so she was tiny between us.  
Cas, lying on his side facing me smiled down at her when she gave a soft snore.

“Some stimulating company we turned out to be” I laughed

Cas smiled back at me and said “She needs her rest, now more than ever. I’m happy that we can help her with that. Though it must be so hard for her to see us, spend time with us, looking so like them, her husbands”  
“Yeah, I suppose, but I think we bring her comfort in some small way. At least you do Cas” I said  
Cas smiled his crooked smile at me that had my pulse racing and said “I’m not the one she’s tucked into Dean”

I looked down at Siobhan, but the movement brought my face closer to Cas’s. When I looked up straight into Cas’s eyes, I didn’t imagine his eyes going to my lips, I didn’t imagine the pupils dilating until his eyes were nearly black that only a sliver of blue remained, and I didn’t want to imagine any more what he tasted like.

Cas was only a couple of inches away from me when I lifted my head and brought my lips to his. His lips were as soft as I imagined. I could feel his hesitation and his inexperience. I broke the kiss and looked at him wondering if I had done wrong. But Cas brought his face to mine and I took his lips again. This time I probed his mouth open with my tongue and softly explored his mouth. I was rewarded with a groan against my lips and Cas tentatively responded in kind.  
Lying there with Siobhan tucked between us, the only thing touching was our lips, had to be the most erotic moment of my life. I was kissing Cas, finally. For five long years I have wanted to do this, and now I was and more remarkably he was kissing me back and then some.  
I ached to touch him. I brought my free hand up to cup his cheek and to deepen the kiss. Cas was getting bolder. His tongue was probing harder and when he sucked on my bottom lip that had me gasping, my body responded. I broke away from him, not because I wanted to but because I didn’t want Siobhan thinking I was a deviant. In trying to get closer to Cas I was pressed up against her and I couldn’t hide my body’s reaction to Cas.

Now I knew why I never touched Cas before, never hugged him even as a friend. Because I knew my body would betray me. But now……

We both lay there breathing hard, staring at each other.  
“Cas, I didn’t want to stop but……….” and I looked down at Siobhan, that’s when I realised that Cas was pressed up against her from behind. Both of us moved away immediately and then laughed nervously.

I pointed towards the door and Cas nodded. We both took care getting out of the bed, not wanting to disturb Siobhan. Leaving the room like two teenagers we hurried to my room next door.  
When we got inside, I was hyper aware that we were all alone. There were no barriers between us now. I reached for him, loving that I had to bend my head to kiss him. It was like there had been no interruption. We picked up where we left off but this time, I could touch him.  
I didn’t know where to touch him first, so I cupped his face to deepen our kiss. I then moved my hands to his shoulders and pushed him up against my bedroom wall. Now we were pressed together shoulders to hips. Cas’s hands were at my waist pulling at my  
t-shirt until he touched skin. At his touch, I groaned, and I couldn’t get enough.  
I could feel Cas’s arousal against my body, and I wanted nothing more but to rip his clothes off. It’s like I was trying to put five years of emotion into this one action. I felt my body wanted to burst apart in every direction.  
I heard Cas gasp my name and then say something else. I broke the kiss reluctantly and looked at him “Cas, what”  
Cas with his cheeks flushed, his lips wet, and his eyes hooded said “Dean, I need you to stop”

CASTIEL AU  
Lying in the bed with Dean opposite me and Siobhan between us, was the most content I had ever been in my long existence. Anytime with Dean I cherished but this was more intimate, just more. We lay there chatting with Siobhan asleep between us. She had become so important to us, that he hated thinking they were going to lose her in a few months. He hated thinking about it. 

Dean moving to smile down at Siobhan moved him closer to me. I had never been so close to him, I could see the freckles on his face, his lips…….  
I glanced up to see Dean staring at me in surprise, his lips parted and then he was leaning towards me.  
Lips pressed against mine for the first time in my existence was a revelation. I didn’t know they would feel so soft. I didn’t know how intimate it would feel. I didn’t know my body would react to a kiss like this. 

Dean lifted his head and stared at me and I realised I didn’t want him to stop. I raised my face to his and he kissed me again. His tongue inside my mouth was nearly my undoing. I was shaking from the intensity of the emotions it stirred. Was it like this for all humans? Now I think I understand why songs and poems are written about moments like this. Like I said it was a revelation.

I wanted to get closer. As if he could read my thoughts, Dean brought his hand to my face and deepened the kiss. I returned it, wanting to show him how much I wanted him.  
When he broke away, both of us breathing heavy he looked down at Siobhan and I understood. I had nearly forgotten she was there.  
We snuck out of the room and ran to Dean’s, hoping we wouldn’t bump into anybody. We didn’t.  
In his room, Dean pulled me to him again. I didn’t resist. I couldn’t. I never thought I would have this with him.  
As he pushed me up against the wall, and I felt his body pressed against mine, I was losing all coherent thought. I couldn’t believe that he would take a risk with me, me an angel.  
Me, an angel……………no  
“Dean, stop” I whispered before I realised what I said  
Dean pulled away and looked at me puzzled. He was breathing hard, his face full of desire for me but I had to do this. I couldn’t let him risk everything for me.  
“Dean I need you to stop” and I felt my heart break a bit when I said it.

DEAN Our Universe

I woke the next morning to find Cas sitting up in the bed beside me, with a laptop in his lap.  
“Morning” I said yawning “I’m getting used to this you know”  
“Used to what?” Cas said moving the laptop onto the ground and scooting down to lie beside me.  
“Waking up to finding you here” I said pulling him towards me for a kiss.  
“Well, there is no place I’d rather be” he said returning my kiss.  
“Me either Cas. But are you sure you’re not needed in Heaven?” I asked  
Cas moved until he was lying over me, leaning on his elbows he held my face and stared down at me with those beautiful blue eyes of his.  
“Dean, you are my husband, Siobhan was my wife, being with you and finding what happened to her together, this is where I’m needed. I dare anyone to tell me different” Cas said  
His statement had a profound effect on me, tears smarted at my eyes and I swear I never loved him more than I did right then.  
“Kiss me Cas, kiss me and don’t stop” I whispered, and he did, and he didn’t.

SAM Our Universe

In the kitchen with breakfast nearly ready, I sent a text to Dean and Cas, telling them to come and get it.  
On the way to the kitchen, I had paused outside their bedroom door to knock but the noises inside alerted me not to.  
I was eager to tell them what Cezar had found out, so I figured over breakfast was the way to go.  
Eileen came in wearing sweats and a t-shirt and the memory of the previous evening and night had me grabbing her for a passionate kiss.

“Woah, breakfast and a show” I heard from Dean behind me.  
I turned to see Dean wearing his night robe smirking at us both. Beside him I was surprised to see Cas wearing a night robe as well.  
At my raised eyebrow, Cas blushed and said, “Dean thought I should have one”.  
“Looks good on you” I said and beside me Eileen gave him a thumbs up.  
The four of us sat at the kitchen table and I poured coffee for everyone. Even Cas.  
When we were nearly finished eating, I brought up the phone call with Cezar, and the info that the hunter Aaron had found out.  
Dean looked at me in earnest “Who was it? And who took the bait?  
I took a deep breath and said “Creedy and Walt.  
Dean looked at me and then roared “SON OF A BITCH”

DEAN Our Universe

I was fuming. I was pissed. I was madder than pissed.  
Walt who killed both me and Sam. Walt who I had met again at a hunter’s funeral and had given him a pass. Walt who because of that pass might be responsible for the death of my wife.  
If he was, then no more passes.  
And Creedy, well he was no surprise. He teamed up with Kubrick, hadn’t he? Tried to kill him and Sam.  
“Any word on Rowena yet?” I asked  
“No but Dean, you know the minute she has something, she’ll be here” Sam replied  
I looked at Sam knowing he wanted to make things right for me, “I know Sam, I just……………..yeah I know”

DEAN AU

Breathing hard, I stared at Cas wondering how I got it so wrong.  
“I’m sorry Cas, I’m really sorry, I thought……………………….wow, I really picked things up wrong. Look, please forgive me ok…….I obviously……….shit Cas I’m sorry”

I was mortified, and the feeling I had just ruined everything had me swaying on feet.

“Dean, stop, no” Cas said “You weren’t wrong”

I looked at him in disbelief “Then why, did I go too fast? I don’t understand”

“Dean, we can’t be together, you know that the community will never accept it. Never accept us. And you need this community and more importantly, they need you” Cas said

“What are you talking about, Cas? This community knows you. They know you’re here for them” I said

“Maybe some Dean. Doc, Shelley, Daniel they accept me for who I am now but the rest………………” Cas said

“But Siobhan………..” I said

“Siobhan wasn’t born an angel Dean” Cas replied

“Cas ok this is stupid. I want this. I want you. I always have. And I’d rather have you than anything else. I’ll walk out of here with just the clothes on my back as long as I have you by my side” I said 

“No, I can’t let you Dean. I know how you feel for this community. You may keep most of them at a distance but that is simply a self-preservation act on your part. You care for them deeply and if you left and something happened them, you would never forgive yourself and I could not look into your eyes knowing I was responsible” Cas said

“Cas don’t do this” I begged him

I watched as Cas came towards me and grasped my face with his hands. He pulled me towards him and kissed me.  
Then he leaned our foreheads together and he whispered “Dean I will never forget tonight; I will never stop being your best friend. I will always love you, because I do you know, and as long as you need me, I will always be by your side”

I then had to watch as he let me go and walked out of my room.

SIOBHAN Day 32  
I woke up the following morning feeling better. Being with Dean and Cas last night, talking with them about my Dean and Cas helped.  
Something happened last night with them, I was sure of it. Nearly a year of sharing a bed with my Dean and Cas, I recognized the sounds, despite being half asleep. They weren’t here with me now and I smiled thinking of them together.  
About bloody time.

I got up, thinking they were probably going to be impossible to be around now, but I was so happy for them.  
After I showered and dressed, I made my way to the kitchen. Only Stephen was there looking bleary eyed, brewing some coffee, or what passed for coffee in this world.

“Wow, you’re getting big” Stephen said when he saw me.  
“Oh, the words every woman longs to hear” I said sarcastically  
“Sorry” he mumbled “Didn’t get much sleep”  
“And why not?” I asked  
“There’s just so much to find out about this place, it’s amazing” Stephen said  
I held up my hands before he began another long-winded explanation of the fabulousness of the bunker.  
“Stephen, stop and remember that you are the expert on this bunker and the community needs you well and alert. So, you need to sleep. You might also think about getting a few apprentices to train, you know to help out around here, in case you are not available” I said  
“Yeah, actually that’s a great idea” Stephen replied  
“I’ve been known to have them every now and then” I said smiling.

CASTIEL Our Universe  
After breakfast, on our way back to our room to get dressed, Dean stopped at the shower room. He grabbed my hand, and said “Come with me”  
Now an hour later we joined Sam and Eileen in the research room.  
Sam looked up and said “Did you get lost”  
I answered him “We had a shower”  
Sam and Eileen stared at me while Dean gave me a “What are you doing” look  
“What” I said  
Dean rolled his eyes and said “Never mind”

“Hello boys………………and girl” Rowena said appearing in front of us  
“Rowena, you’re here” Sam said “Did you get it? The spell”  
Rowena said “I got it”

DEAN AU  
I knew it was time to get up and start my rounds, but a heavy depression weighed me down. I spent a sleepless night alternating between remembering kissing and touching Cas and our conversation afterwards. Both of which were tormenting me into insanity.

The worse thing was, I knew he was right. and I knew it was partly my fault. The majority of the community just about tolerated Cas, and only because of me. Before his powers faded, they had reacted to him by actively avoiding him or if he came into their company, they moved away.

After his powers were gone, they did relax around him more, but they didn’t seek him out. I was the only person Cas spent any amount of time with and because I was selfish and wanted him for myself, I didn’t try to include him more. Now that selfishness was going to be my undoing.  
How was I supposed to spend time with Cas now, look at his face and not remember kissing him, not remember touching him, knowing what he felt like under my hands. I sat up and put my face in my hands.  
Oh god I can still smell him. Somebody help me.

DEAN Our Universe

We brought Rowena up to speed on what we found in Heaven and what Cezar had told Sam.  
“Ok” said Rowena “So we are completely sure of Turiel being involved and nearly sure that this Creedy and Walt are involved. And kinda sure of the demons missing from hell. Their names are Malphas and Valac by the way. I have some of their essence for the spell. Were you able to get anything regarding the angel?”  
“Yes” said Cas “apparently he liked to travel the universe and collect rocks from various worlds and celestial bodies. We have a moon rock”  
“How exciting” Rowena said “A moon rock. What about this Walt is it? Or this Creedy? Have we anything of theirs?” 

“Sorry Rowena” Sam said but I interrupted  
“Wait Sam, years ago, didn’t Walt give us a machete that we needed on a hunt. I’m nearly sure that’s still in the trunk of the Impala”

“Oh God you’re right, it has a red handle. Let me get it” Sam said running towards the garage.

While we waited, Rowena set up for the spell while Cas went to our room to retrieve the moon rock.  
Eileen walked over to me and took my hand “We are getting closer Dean; I can feel it”  
I squeezed her hand and hoped she was right.

CASTIEL AU  
After I left Dean’s room, I could barely breathe. I couldn’t go to my room; it was too close. I couldn’t let my mind think about what just happened or what I said to Dean, because I was afraid, I would break down. I practically ran out of the bunker and made my way to the tree line.  
As I approached, Michael jumped out of one of the trees in front of me.  
“Everything ok Castiel?” he asked  
“Yes, I thought I would take a shift. Can’t sleep” I said  
“Actually, that would be great. One of the guys wasn’t feeling too good, so I relieved him” Michael said  
“Where was his post?” I asked  
Michael pointed to the furthermost tree and I went there gratefully. Climbing the tree until I had the best vantage point, I settled my mind to concentrate on my job.

SIOBHAN  
It was mid-morning before I realised that neither Dean nor Cas had called in to me. Usually, one of them popped their heads in.  
After I left Stephen in the kitchen, I had retrieved the books set aside in the research room. They had kept me busy for hours but now I could do with a break and a walk and to use the bathroom and not necessarily in that order.  
Making my way to the bathroom, I bumped into Shelley and I asked her about Dean and Cas.  
“You are not the first to ask. There have been no sightings of the boss as of yet and Cas is pulling double watch duty” Shelley replied  
“Cas is doing what?” I asked  
Shelley explained he had been on watch since 3am this morning and was in the middle of a second shift.  
I thanked Shelley and continued to the bathroom. That didn’t sound right. No one had seen Dean, and Cas was pulling double shifts. Crap.

Making my way to Dean’s room, I knocked but got no answer. I was about to walk away when I knocked again but this time I said “Dean I know you are in there. I am going to count to five and then I am coming in……………..one, two, three, four…………..and the door opened.  
I looked up into Dean’s red rimmed eyes in dismay and said, “What happened?”

SAM Our Universe

I arrived back to the research room with the machete to find everyone waiting for me.  
“Did you get lost” Dean asked  
“Couldn’t find it at first” I said “it had fallen down the side of the trunk”  
I handed the machete to Rowena and she began the spell.  
From what Rowena told us, the spell would tell us where in the world, Walt, Turiel and Malphas and Valac were meeting. If we were right, they would be together. If we were wrong, then they wouldn’t be.  
But hopefully they would bring us to whomever was behind this.  
To aid us in this we had a map of the world, hopefully if the spell worked, it would show us where we had to go.  
Rowena spoke the final incantation, and the map burst into flames. When the fire died down, there was only one country, one destination left on the map.

Ireland. County Clare. 

SIOBHAN  
Dean walked back into the room and sat heavily on the bed.  
“I fucked up Siobhan. I fucked up big time” Dean said sounding close to tears  
“Dean talk to me, what happened” I asked sitting on the bed beside him.  
He turned to me and said “Siobhan, for five minutes I had everything I ever wanted”

DEAN Our Universe  
I stared down at the piece of map that was left on the desk. The blood was roaring in my ears and my vision was blurring.  
“DEAN, DEAN”  
Sam had grabbed me by the arm and was looking at me in concern.  
“Are you ok?” Sam asked  
“Yeah Sammy, I’m fine, I just………….what is going on?” I asked  
“County Clare, isn’t that where Siobhan is from?” Eileen asked  
“Yes, it is” Cas answered  
“So, someone is messing with us, is that it? This is just another taunt” Sam asked  
“Maybe” said Cas “But I’m checking it out. The spell shows that’s where they are. Now, we are going to find out why?

SIOBHAN  
When Dean finished talking, my heart was hurting, for both of them.  
“Is Cas right, Dean?” I asked, “Would they not accept you together?”  
“Yeah, maybe. Everyone here has a story like Daniel, where angels are concerned. And it took him a long time to warm up to Cas, but now they’re friends.  
And Shelley and Doc, they knew about monsters in the world long before the angels attacked so they can tell the difference, and they have been good to Cas and the men who were with me the night Cas saved us, they know what he did, but would they accept him as my partner, me being the leader of this community, I don’t know.  
Siobhan, I offered to walk away with him, but he wouldn’t let me, but how can I go on here, knowing that he feels the same way as I do, how do I look at him, how………………..help me, please”

I put my arm around Dean and laid my head on his shoulder. I knew what he was feeling, when I walked away from my Dean and Cas so they could be together, it hurt like hell and it is not a feeling I would wish on anyone.  
If there was a way for this Dean and Cas to be together, short of leaving the community, I couldn’t see it.

SAM  
“Cas, I need you to wait” I said and Cas looking at me exasperated said “Why?”  
“We promised Naomi, Cas” Dean said “And it would be handy to have another angel on our side.  
I turned to Rowena “You’re coming with, right?”  
“Damned straight I am, Sam Winchester” Rowena replied  
I looked over at Cas who was praying to Naomi. She appeared about 10 seconds later and Cas brought her up to speed.  
“I told Zadkiel to take the tracking spell off us when we are about to depart. When is that?” Naomi asked  
Cas looked at me and I said, “Cas, give us five minutes to arm up and then we can leave ok?”  
Cas stared at me and then Naomi and said “Five minutes”

SIOBHAN  
I had spent about two hours with Dean, and I was in more of a need of a walk than ever. I told Dean to get some rest and that I would be back later.  
I headed out of the bunker and walked in the direction of the tree line. As I drew nearer, Michael who I had been on patrol with to find the bunker, dropped out of one the trees.  
“Wow, I’m impressed” I said smiling at him  
“Thanks. Siobhan you really shouldn’t be this far out from the bunker. It might not be safe” Michael replied  
“Actually, I came to see Cas if he’s around” I said  
“Oh right, well he was relieved around an hour ago, I’d say he’s probably sleeping. He pulled a double shift” Michael said  
“Yeah I heard” I said “Thanks anyway”  
“Do you want me to walk back with you” Michael asked  
“Oh no, I’ll be fine. I don’t want to take you away from your duties?” I said

At that moment, an alarm starting blaring from the direction of the bunker.  
Both Michael and I turned in surprise, “What the hell is that?” I asked  
“I hope that’s a bloody drill” Michael said “It’s a proximity alarm Siobhan, Stephen discovered it last night and Dean told us about it. He said it would help keep the bunker safe from attack”  
“AMBUSH” a man roared from behind us  
Gun shots were fired, and Michael grabbed me and we both hit the ground together, with me protecting my bump with my hands. Michael covered me all the while cursing a string of profanity.  
When the shots stopped, I peeked up from under Michael’s arms and the sight that met me had me gasping “No”  
On the ground were the five men who had been on lookout, dead. And standing over them, surrounded by men with guns was Catherine.

DEAN AU  
I had closed my eyes for barely a half hour when an alarm staring blaring in the bunker. I jumped up out of the bed and ran for the door. In the corridor I literally bumped into Cas.  
“Dean what the hell is that?” Cas asked loudly to be heard over the alarm.  
“I meant to tell you last night. It’s a proximity alarm, Stephen found it. He must be testing it. I wish he had given me the heads up though” I said  
I looked at Cas and last night came rushing back. From the look on Cas’s face he was remembering the same.  
“DEAN, BOSS” I turned to see John coming running towards me.  
“Boss, Stephen told me to tell you, it’s the real thing. There’s been an attack. You need to come now”  
Cas and I ran after John to where Stephen was hunched over the map table. The view on it had changed. Now it was showing the town of Lebanon, the bunker and the surrounding area.  
On the map out near the tree line, were over twenty dots.  
More dots were lined just outside the bunker.  
“What are they? I asked pointing to the dots nearest us.  
“Those are our men. They came down from the trees from the opposite side to guard the entrance” Stephen replied  
Pointing to the ones near the tree line “So these are our attackers?  
“Yeah” John replied  
“And our men out there??” I asked  
No one said anything.  
John cleared his throat and said “Boss, I’m sorry but, it wasn’t just our men out there”  
I looked at him with dread and said “Who else”  
“Siobhan” he replied

SIOBHAN

“Well, well if it isn’t my lucky day” Catherine smiled “I heard you survived, and I also heard another little nugget of information about you and look it, that’s true too.  
Pregnant and not just pregnant but with a little baby angel” Catherine stated.  
“And I thought I was going to have to get creative to get you out of the bunker, but here you are, at my feet, ripe for the taking” she laughed “it must be my birthday”

A feeling of cold dread ran down my spine. This was bad. I stared at Catherine and at the men standing behind her. They were looking at me with disgust and hatred. God knows what Catherine had told them. Michael and I were outnumbered and outgunned.  
I turned to him and whispered “I’m sorry Michael. I distracted you”  
“It’s not your fault, Siobhan” Michael replied  
“Ah so sweet. Get up” Catherine said waving a gun at us.  
Michael helped me up and we stood facing her.  
“Well, I don’t need you” Catherine said pointing the gun at Michael and shot him point blank in the chest.

CASTIEL AU  
Dean and I looked at each other after John’s statement. I ran for the stairs and Dean shouted after me.  
“Cas, stop. We need a plan. We need weapons” Dean pleaded with me.  
I stopped on the stairs and looked down at Dean.  
“Go outside and get me someone, who can tell me what’s going on and Cas, come straight back in. I mean it” Dean told me  
I nodded and then continued up the stairs. Just as I got to the door, one of the men, Joseph came in.  
“Where’s the boss?” he asked  
“He sent me to get someone to tell him what’s happening?” I told him  
“Well that’s why I’m here Cas” and we both went back into the bunker together.

DEAN AU  
I looked up as the door opened again and Joseph and Cas appeared at the top of the steps.  
Joseph ran down and stopped in front of me.  
“Dean our men guarding the north post are dead and Siobhan and Michael are captured” Joseph told me  
“Dean” he said gravely “Its Catherine”  
“What, how is that possible? How did she find us?” I asked  
Joseph looked at me knowingly and I drew back from him. “You think someone here told her?” I asked  
“How else would she know?” he replied  
Cas came up beside me and handed me a shotgun and a pistol. He was already armed.  
“Let’s go” I said and the three of us left the bunker.  
My men stood in a line protecting the entrance to the bunker, with their guns ready. I looked across the field to the treeline and I watched as Catherine shot Michael point blank in the chest.  
“NO” I roared  
I saw Catherine look over Siobhan’s shoulder and smirked at me. She turned the gun on Siobhan and all I could do was watch as she opened fire.

DEAN Our Universe  
It was early evening in Ireland when we arrived in the quaint seaside village of Carrigaholt. Rowena’s spell was still tracking, and we followed her as she took us through the narrow streets of the village.  
We had been following Rowena for about twenty minutes when she stopped, at the entrance to a house, with a pretty garden.

“According to the spell, they are in there” Rowena said  
“Yes, they are definitely in there. The place is warded” Cas said  
“Can you enter Cas?” I asked  
“Yes, but my power will be somewhat diminished, Naomi’s too” Cas replied  
Naomi turned to me and Cas, looking puzzled “You do know whose house this is, don’t you?  
“No, whose is it” I asked  
“Dean, this is Siobhan’s parent’s house” Naomi answered.  
Cas and I looked at each other in dread.  
“Well, that’s not good” Rowena said

We walked up to the house, and as we were walking, the front door opened, and a woman appeared. She looked to be in her sixties, she had shoulder length straight grey hair. She was wearing grey slacks and a white blouse, and she looked frightened.  
“Please come in” she said  
We all hesitated and looked at her warily.  
“I’m sorry, but he said he would kill us, if you didn’t come in. All of you” she said  
Dammit, I thought.  
She walked back into the house and with a last look at Cas, I headed in.

We followed the woman into a large sitting room. A man sitting on the couch looked relieved when the woman re-joined him. Siobhan’s parents.  
Standing behind them was Creedy and Walt. I gave them both a look that made my intentions clear.  
“Turiel how could you?” I heard Naomi say and I turned to see the angel standing in a doorway to our right.  
“Malphas, Valac” I heard Rowena say and I looked to see them coming in from a room on our left.  
We all stood around staring at each other. Siobhan’s parents looked terrified.  
“Dean what, don’t you want to know what’s going on?” Creedy asked with a smirk

I stared at Creedy and said “I know what’s going on. Angels, demons and humans conspired together to kill my wife, and for that I’m going to make you all pay”

“Siobhan’s not dead” a voice said behind me. A voice I hadn’t heard in over six months. No, it can’t be. This was not possible.

I turned to look into the smiling face of Chuck.

“Hi Guys” Chuck said

To be continued


	5. Summer of Loss Part 5

Summer of Loss Part 5

DEAN Our Universe

My shock at seeing Chuck, rendered me speechless. None of us moved, all of us just stared at Chuck, former God, former annihilator of universes, former friend.  
Eventually what he said penetrated my brain.

“What did you say” I asked

“Oh yeah, that. Siobhan, she’s not dead” Chuck said, still with the grin on his face.

I looked at Cas in disbelief, but he was staring at Chuck “You’re lying”

“Cas would I lie to you. No, and I never have, well maybe a couple of teeny tiny white ones, but they don’t count” Chuck said

Chuck pointed then to Siobhan’s parents “You haven’t met, have you. Dean, Castiel these are your parents in law. Isn’t that nice?”

“Frank, Margaret this is Dean and Castiel, your daughter’s husbands. Plural” Chuck told them, holding up two fingers.

Turning back to us he said “They didn’t believe me the first time I told them, or the second……………..anyway I showed them a couple of the wedding pictures, well they got it………eventually”, Chuck said rolling his eyes.

“If Siobhan is not dead, then, where is she?” I asked barely able to believe it.

“Well, she’s stuck in another universe” Chuck replied

“More lies” Cas said “You destroyed all the universes, you told us”

“Well, that might have been one of the teeny tiny lies I told you about. I may have spared one or two” Chuck said

I looked around to see what the odds were of taking them on. There was six of them and six of us, with two innocent humans in the middle. And not any humans. Siobhan’s parents.

“I wouldn’t try it Dean, I’m not here to fight you. In fact, I’m here to help you” Chuck said

Cas snorted and said, “Help us how?”

Chuck spread his hands out wide and gave us a look of surprise, “Why, to help you get your wife back of course”

SIOBHAN

I watched in disbelief as Michaels eyes widened in surprise and then he fell backwards onto the ground.  
I turned towards Catherine who with a smirk on her face raised the gun towards me.

I felt a rage brewing up inside me as Catherine said, “I told you, you would get yours” and she pulled the trigger.

Feeling a presence taking over my body I watched myself as I raised my hand up and the bullet stopped in flight. Catherine gaped at me and with my other hand I brushed her aside.

The men behind her were too slow to react and with another wave of my hand, they fell to the ground dead.

Catherine looked at the bodies surrounding her. I stood over her, the rage that was not just coming from me but the child inside subsided a bit and I said “Do you like your legacy, Catherine, death and destruction all around you” I said “You are no better than the Angels”

I heard Dean and Cas calling my name. I turned to look at them and they looked on in horror at the dead bodies, both friend and foe alike.

The other men guarding the bunker arrived and stood in a loose circle around us.

Ignoring my audience for now, I knelt down beside Catherine and told her “You killed no one here today, Catherine. No one”

The power surged through me, as I hit the ground with both my hands and the energy shot out towards the men of the community. One by one, they woke up, looking around them dazed.  
I then turned to Michael who still lay on the ground beside me. I knelt down and touched his face. His injury to his chest healed up and his eyes opened.

Catherine sitting on the ground with her mouth open looked at me as I stood up and looking down at her with contempt I told her, “That’s what Angels can do”

I stood back and I watched Dean and Cas go help the men up off the ground. Dean walked back towards me and eyed me warily.

When he reached me, he looked back at the dead bodies of the attackers still lying on the ground. “You didn’t bring them back” he said  
“No, I didn’t. You are the leader of this community. If you want me to bring them back, I will, but kept alive they could tell others of this place. You would have no peace” I said to him

“And Catherine?” Dean asked

“Again, that’s your decision” I told him.

Dean nodded his head. “She didn’t get here by accident. Someone told her where to find us”

I blinked realising he was right and also, I knew what he was asking. 

I approached Catherine and placed my fingers on her forehead. “Who’s the informant” I asked her

She tried to resist but it was so easy to get the information from her. A face appeared and it made sense.

I went back to Dean and I told him. He closed his eyes briefly in pain and then nodded.

I watched as Dean looked around at his men until he found the one, he was looking for. “Morgan, come here”

“Boss I don’t know what that bitch told you, but I had nothing to do with this” Morgan said backing away.

Catherine snorted and “Oh give it up Morgan and be a man about it”.

I looked into Dean’s eyes and I knew how much he was hurting. Suddenly tired I turned away from him, only to find Cas standing behind me. He put his arm around me without saying a word and walked me to the bunker. Before we reached the bunker, I flinched as two shots were fired.   
It was over.

CASTIEL Our Universe

I was itching to get my hands on Chuck and squeeze the life out of him. Somehow without his powers he managed to get his hands on some, and to recruit an Angel, god knows how many demons and a couple of humans.

I kept rejecting the fact that Siobhan was alive. I couldn’t allow myself to believe it, but I could see Dean’s face and he had hope. If Chuck crushed that hope for him, I would crush him. So, for the moment I would play along.

“Why would you help us and how do you know where Siobhan is” I asked Chuck

“Well, it’s in my best interests to get Siobhan back and also, I’m the one that pushed her into that world” Chuck answered

“What” roared Dean “Why would you do that?”

Chuck smiled “Reasons”

CASTIEL AU

Siobhan leaned on me the whole way back to her room. I was still in shock at what happened. Never in my whole existence had there been a Nephilim in our world.   
Angels did not interact with humans as they seemed to in Siobhan’s world and I only interceded when I saw the wrong his brothers and sisters were doing.

The power of this child before it was even born was staggering and a bit frightening.

Siobhan sat down on the bed and she asked, “Cas will you stay a while”.

“Of course,” I said. I looked at her and said “Siobhan what happened out there…………”

Siobhan sighed and said “The baby is aware of the people around me, Cas. She already cares for you and Dean and the others. She knows that you are trying to help us both, and when we were attacked, she defended us”

“She?” I asked

Siobhan smiled and place a hand on my cheek and said “She”

DEAN AU  
I joined my men in burial detail, and we dug a big enough grave to bury the bodies. Twenty-two in all.  
My head was still reeling from the events of this afternoon. The attack, Catherine, Morgan’s betrayal and Siobhan.   
Jesus, Siobhan and the power that baby had.  
But she used that power to help us. Bring our people back. I know there are plenty of wives in our group who were grieving for a short time before their husbands were brought back.   
A real life, god damned miracle. Who would believe it?  
But I knew, on our side or not, Siobhan’s actions could have consequences with the community. I wondered how long it would take to find out what they would be.

DEAN Our Universe

“Ok I’ll bite” I said “Why can’t you go and get her. Why does it have to be us?”

“Well, it’s not you, plural” Chuck said waving his hands over all of us “Only you and Sam”

“What, why just me and Sam?” I asked

“Because the universe, Siobhan fell into has no magic. No Angels, no demons, no monsters, no magic, just humans, very boring and so, if she survived the transition, so will only you and Sam”

“What do you mean if she survived the transition” Cas said, his voice sounding even deeper

“Cas you know how it is, losing your grace is a bitch. Naomi and you wouldn’t survive over there, and Rowena is basically useless without her magic” Chuck said

Rowena gave him a look that could quietly kill him, if she put her mind to it.

“So, you’re telling me, Siobhan is in another universe, with no Angel powers whatsoever” Cas asked quietly

I recognized the danger tone in Cas’s voice, and I put my hand on his arm.

“Cas” I said warning him with my voice not to do anything stupid.

“And what about the message you left for us?” I asked him

“What message?” Chuck asked

“Really, that’s the way you’re going to play it, the message about which one of us is next to go. And now you want me and Sam to willingly go into another universe, which might not even exist. Yeah, thanks but no thanks Chuck” I said nearly snarling

Turning to look at his acquaintances, Chuck actually looked menacing, “What message?”

The demons answered “Not us boss” while Turiel shrugged his shoulders and nodded towards Walt and Creedy.

Chuck turned to Creedy and Walt who looked guilty “You idiots” Chuck said

Looking back to me, Chuck said “I never told them to do that Dean. I don’t want you dead. I swear. I want to help you get Siobhan back”

“And why would you do that Chuck. Give me one good reason why you sent Siobhan there and why you want her back now” I asked him

“She’s fulfilling a prophecy” Chuck replied

“A prophecy, another one” Cas said

“Yes, So, what’s it going to be?” Chuck asked

“What’s the prophecy Chuck?” I asked “And why Siobhan………..again”

Chuck answered “I can’t tell you………..wait” he said and held his hands up as I started to interrupt, “Dean, its part of the prophecy, that you find out a certain way. You know how it is”

I counted to ten in my own mind before I looked at Cas who rolled his eyes but then nodded.

“Great” Chuck said “I’ll be in touch with the how’s and the what nots soon. Enjoy family time with your in-laws”

Chuck and company disappeared in a blink of an eye and we were left with two very shell-shocked humans.

DEAN AU

Outside Siobhan’s door I took a deep breath before I knocked. I heard Cas’s voice call “Come in”.  
I entered to find Siobhan asleep in bed and Cas sitting on a chair next to her.  
I gestured for him to come out and because I didn’t want to be overheard, I went into my room.  
I waited to hear the door close before I turned around.  
When I saw Cas, whatever I had planned to say went straight out of my head.

“Cas” I whispered

I watched as Cas’s eyes darkened but before he could think I was overstepping his wishes I said quickly “Cas your face, your scar, it’s gone”

Cas’s hand flew to his face and rubbed his hand along his cheek with a look of amazement.

Cas had gotten that scar protecting the community from an attack three years before. It had been an ugly scar, but it never bothered me. He was still beautiful, but now, it was gone.

“Siobhan” Cas whispered “We were talking before she fell asleep. She touched my cheek, I never realised…………….” Cas shook his head in amazement.

I know I was probably grinning like an idiot, but I couldn’t help it. I was happy for him.

I turned and poured a drink for the two of us. So much had happened since we were alone the last time. And if our friendship was all that we were going to be left with, then I was not losing that.

I handed the drink to Cas, trying to ignore the arc of electricity that flowed between us as our fingers brushed together. Dammit, this was going to be near impossible.

“You’re worried” Cas said “About Siobhan”

“Cas you saw what she did” I said

“Dean, she protected us, she saved our people. She’s on our side” Cas said passionately

“I know, she’s on our side, Cas but what she did was frightening, it frightened me, god knows what everybody else thinks” I said

“Dean, you are going to continue to protect her, right?” Cas asked looking worried.

“Of course, I am, I’m just letting you know there could be problems” I told him.

Cas said nothing for a minute or two. He swallowed his drink in one go and put the glass on my desk “Dean, if Siobhan is asked to leave, I will be going with her”

“Cas” I said shocked

“I won’t let her go through this alone Dean. I won’t. Just like I didn’t let you fight the Angels on your own. I fought beside you because I believed you were a good and just person. I believe the same of Siobhan” Cas said

“You said only last night that you would never leave my side, has that changed already” I asked knowing I sounded petulant, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Nothing has changed Dean. But I won’t be gone long. They’re both going to die, remember. I’m just making sure they won’t be alone when that happens” and with that he turned on his heel and left the room.

Brilliant Dean. Fucking brilliant.

CASTIEL Our Universe

“Do you think its true Cas” Dean asked me “About Siobhan. Dammit he could be playing us”  
I wanted to tell him yes, it’s true. I wanted it to be true, but Chuck was a former God, and it looks like he hadn’t lost all his tricks.  
I turned to the others, “What do you think?”  
Rowena walked over to me “For some reason I believe him, I’m not sure if I believe him about a prophecy but he sent Siobhan over there for a reason, a big reason. If he wanted her dead, he could have killed her just as easy, that day in the woods”

“I agree” Sam said “My God Dean, Cas, she really could be alive. I’m willing to take the risk to find her”

“Can someone please tell me, what in god’s name is going on” a voice said behind us  
I looked at Dean and we both looked at Siobhan’s parents.  
“Are you ok?” I asked them, kneeling down beside them.  
“Who are you” Frank asked “Are you really friends of Siobhan’s. What was all that talk about Angels and demons and different universes? Are ye in some sort of cult?”

I stood back up and pulled Dean and Sam aside. “Do we tell them, or do we wipe their memories?  
“I think we need to tell them Cas” Sam said “We can’t leave them here. We have to get them somewhere safe. I know Siobhan is estranged from them, but I don’t think she wishes them harm either”.

“I agree” Dean said, “I just……………can’t think straight right now”.  
“That’s ok Dean, I got it” Sam said “Cas, Naomi, Rowena no half measures. We need to bring these people up to speed and we need to do it fast”

SAM  
It took the best part of a half hour, to tell Siobhan’s parents everything, including what happened to their daughter after she left them. Throw in Cas’s wings and glowing blue eyes, Naomi’s wings and disappearing in front of them, Rowena’s magic tricks and photos from Dean and Cas’s phone.  
It wasn’t until they saw the wedding photos again that they finally spoke.  
“So, it’s true, Siobhan married the two of you, together, at the same time” Frank asked looking at Dean and Cas and looking like he tasted something sour.

The man was starting to piss me off.  
“Of everything we have told you and shown you, that’s what you have a problem with”  
I stood and turned to Dean “No wonder she left”

Cas stood over them. “You both need to pack a bag and come with us”  
“What, why?” Siobhan’s mother said  
“Because if something goes wrong, they could back and this time, they might have a little fun. So, if you want to stay here, fine or you could let us take you somewhere safe” Cas said

“Where are you taking them?” Dean asked Cas

Naomi piped up “I could take them to Heaven”

“Or I could take them to Hell” Rowena drawled in her thick Scottish accent spearing her best Queen of Hell stare at them.

Siobhan’s parents blanched, realising at last, they were serious.

Cas looked at Dean and winked “I know the perfect place”

SIOBHAN Day 33  
When I woke up, I was alone. I had no idea what time it was, but I felt I had been asleep a long time. The events of yesterday having taken their toll.  
I was still in bed when there was a knock at the door.  
“Come in” I said expecting Dean or Cas, but it was Michael who walked in.

“Siobhan I’m sorry, I didn’t expect you to be…………” Michael said  
I waved my hand and sat up and said “Its fine, I’m just having a lazy start. What time is it anyway?  
“Its 2 in the afternoon” Michael said  
“What? Crikey I’ve been asleep nearly 24 hours” I said shocked.

“Well you had a big day………..” Michael stopped short, ran his fingers through his hair, blew out a breath and started again, “About that Siobhan, I was dead, Catherine shot me, in the chest, and then I wasn’t and Joseph told me it was you, you who brought me back, you brought us all back…………..” he said shaking his head, “Well I just wanted to say thank you” Michael finished

“We were partners for three days Michael, on our trip here and where I come from, we take partners very seriously. You always have each other’s back, and if your partner dies, you bring him back from the dead” I said   
Michael sat down on the bed and pulled me in for a hug.  
“Woah, didn’t see that coming” I said laughing   
“Yeah, me neither, but hey you only live twice” Michael said, laughing as I groaned into his shoulder.

After Michael left, I washed and dressed as quickly as I could. I was starving. The baby needed sustenance after yesterday’s exertions.  
Making my way to the kitchen, I found two women sitting at the kitchen table when I entered. I smiled at them, but they stood up quickly and left.  
I sighed and turned to get some stew, thinking I’d better take it back to my room. I dished up some stew into a bowl and grabbed a spoon.  
When I turned, I found my way was blocked by about 15-20 men and women.  
Crap.

CASTIEL AU  
After I left Dean’s room, I needed to do something useful. I went outside to check on the perimeter. Understandably everyone was still shaken up. I told the men who had been shot and brought back, to go in and see their families. I then recruited more people to take their place, myself included. 

For the next six hours, I stood up in a tree and tried unsuccessfully not to think about Dean.  
I tried not to think of how he said my name, when he saw my scar was gone. Tried not to think of the spark that flew between us when our hands brushed. Tried not to think how hurt he looked when I told him I would be leaving with Siobhan.  
Maybe this was impossible.   
Maybe if I did leave, I should just keep going to somewhere where they didn’t know I had ever been an Angel.  
But my mind rejected that as soon as I thought it, because as hard as it was now, I would still rather be with Dean everyday as friends, than not at all.   
Having made that decision, my mind settled, and I was able to concentrate on the job at hand.

DEAN Our Universe

After Cas had dispatched Frank and Margaret, we regrouped back at the bunker. We stood around the research room staring at each other, still not believing what happened.

Naomi was the first to speak “So what do we do now? Do we wait for Chuck to get in touch with us?

“We don’t have a choice. We don’t know which universe? We have no archAngel grace to get there even if we did know? And speaking of, how did Chuck do it?” I asked

Naomi looked pensive for a moment “He’s God”

“Well not anymore, though right? I said,

Cas turned to me, “Dean, when Lucifer stole Jack’s grace, it left him basically human. His grace would return but it could take up to a century for it happen. And Jack was only half archAngel. Chuck was God. His powers could reboot even faster. And even the smallest amount of grace he has now would be enough to open a door to send Siobhan through”

“Wouldn’t Jack have known that” I asked

“Maybe he didn’t think it would happen this quickly. Maybe that is why he said he would only be gone a year” Cas replied

We all just stood there, thinking of the implications of that when I finally let myself say it “She really could be alive Cas, she really could” and I walked into my husband’s arms in front of everyone and I held on tight.

SAM

Looking at Dean and Cas embracing, I was so happy for them. And judging by the look on Cas’s face he was only now allowing himself to believe.  
“Ok while we are waiting on Chuck, we have to find out what he’s up to including this prophecy. Naomi?” I asked her

“Sam, I didn’t see any other prophecy regarding Siobhan, while we were researching the other one”

“Yes” I said, “But even the last prophecy didn’t appear until you looked for it with certain words, like Aquaductus, right?”

“Yes, that’s true” said Naomi “But Sam, we don’t know what kind of prophecy this is or what Siobhan has to do with it?”

“You can still look right; you might get lucky” I asked

“Of course, I will get on it right away” and she disappeared

SIOBHAN

“Look, I was just heading back to my room with some food, I’ll just get out of your way” I said somewhat nervously  
No one moved, but one man spoke.  
“Dean told us what you did out there Siobhan, you brought us back from the dead”  
“Yes” said a woman who turned to the man beside her squeezing his hand “You did the same for my husband”   
Another woman spoke up from the doorway “We just wanted to say thank you”  
I looked at them in amazement, “You did?”

“Yes” said the first man who spoke “I won’t deny your powers are frightening to us, but you have used them for good here, just like Castiel, so yes thank you”  
“Thank you” I whispered, “I was glad I could help”

One by one they left, not touching but smiling at me. I nodded at each of them. After they were gone, they only person left facing me was Daniel. I hadn’t seen him at the back of the group.  
He came towards me, not saying anything and put his arms around my waist and laid his head on chest. Wrapping my arms around him, we stood like that for a long time.

DEAN AU  
I needed to do something. On my way out of the bunker to check on the men, I met Joseph coming in. He told me that Cas had relieved some men and rostered more to take the next couple of watches. I wasn’t on the roster.  
Realising Cas had taken control of that situation, I went to check on Siobhan, but she wasn’t in her room.  
I met Doc and he told me he had seen Siobhan and Daniel strolling around the bunker together. That was good news.  
But it left me with too much time on my hands.  
I decided to check out some of the cars in the garage. See if any of them were road worthy.  
It was there that Siobhan found me.  
I had my head stuck under the hood of a 1958 Austin Martin when I felt a presence behind me.  
Standing in the doorway, watching me with her hand on her stomach was Siobhan.  
“Hey, there you are? Everything ok? I heard you were on a stroll with your boyfriend. Did you make up?” I grinned at her

She grinned back and said “Yes I was. We talked. He’s good”  
I pulled a crate from against the wall and upturned it beside the car, “Sit” I said  
“There’s something else Dean. Your people, they came and found me” Siobhan said sitting down.  
I looked at her sharply and said, “You’re ok right?”

“I knew it” Siobhan said “You were worried. But they thanked me Dean. I have to admit, I couldn’t believe it at first. I was kind of worried myself there a bit”

I blew out a breath “That’s good. I can tell Cas. He had planned on running away with you”

“Dean” Siobhan said looking at me with concern

“It’s ok Siobhan, I screwed up again with him” I said.

Siobhan blew out a breath, “And you are both going to keep screwing up until you hash this out. If the community can accept what they saw me do the other day, then they can accept you and Cas. At least try. Hear what they have to say and decide what to do after that”

I looked at her and said “I’ll think about it”

SIOBHAN  
After leaving Dean I made my way to the map room. Dean had told me that Cas was on watch duty. I left word with Joseph to tell Cas I was looking for him when he came off duty and then I made my way to my room with more books that had been left aside for me, though I didn’t really hold out much hope.  
Despite that I was completely engrossed with what I was reading that the knock on the door, gave me a fright.  
Laughing at myself I called “Come in” and Cas entered.

“Hey, I got your message” Cas said, “Everything ok?”

“No everything’s good. I just wanted you to know that the men I saved, they thanked me, so there’s no need for you to run away with me” I said

“What” Cas said and his face paled.

“Cas” I said standing to walk over to him “You need to give Dean a break. He told me everything that’s happened between you. He loves you Cas and he’s devastated”.

“He shouldn’t have burdened you with that Siobhan” Cas said

“Who else was he going to talk to” I answered “You are his best friend, but he couldn’t talk about this with you. So, who better than me? I know what my Dean and Cas went through. I just wish you didn’t have to go through it”.

Cas nodded his head and said, “This community means everything to Dean. He and Sam started it. When Sam died, it was the community that gave him a purpose to keep going. If he didn’t have it, I don’t think he would have outlived Sam for long” Cas said.

“Bullshit” I said, and Cas looked startled, “I remember Dean telling me the story of Kelly Kline and when Sam got killed. He said it was a bad time, but that you got him through it, YOU Cas, not the community. In two worlds, Dean is all about Sam and you. Sam is his brother, and he adores him, and you are his greatest love”.

Cas was looking at me stunned “And you Siobhan?”

I smiled at him and said “I know that my Dean and Cas love me, I know it, but if I hadn’t come along, I know they would have come together eventually and they would have been happy, just like you two will be, if you let yourselves”

Cas stood there absorbing what I had just said. There was a knock at the door, and I answered it. Standing there was Dean who coloured slightly on seeing Cas.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you” Dean said

“No actually I’m glad you’re here, there’s something I’ve wanted to ask both of you, and now seems like the best time” I said

Dean came into the room and looked at me warily. “Sit please both of you” and they both sat on the bed being careful not to touch. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

“Look I’ve been busy with the books but without magic, it doesn’t look like they are going to be much help. But there is something else that is worrying me”

“What’s that Siobhan?” Cas asked

“I don’t know how I know this, but I think this child will survive her birth here” I said  
Dean and Cas looked at me in shock.

“She’s strong” I said “Strong enough to survive here”  
“And you, Siobhan” Dean asked

I forced myself to look straight at them as I answered, “No, I don’t think so, that’s why I wanted to ask you, if I don’t get home before the birth, would both of you raise her, be her fathers, I know what my Dean and Cas did for Jack in my world and you both are the only ones I truly trust here” 

Dean and Cas just stared at me.  
“Oh god please say something” I begged them

Cas stood up and approached me, “I will Siobhan, I don’t know much about babies, but I’ll mind her, I’ll keep her safe, I promise”

Dean followed Cas to stand beside us, he looked at Cas and then he smiled down at me “I’m honoured Siobhan. I promise you; you don’t need to worry. We will mind her for you”  
“Thank you” I whispered

DEAN Our Universe

It had been nearly a week since we met Chuck and we hadn’t heard from him. If this was just another way of torturing us, it was a good one.   
Cas had returned to Heaven to help with the search regarding the prophecy. Rowena had returned to Hell to see if there was anything there and Sam, Eileen and I went through the lore books again. I felt I should know them all off by heart by now.  
I read again about the prophecies that Siobhan had already undertaken. The Entity, The Conduit, the transfer of power to Jack, but nothing new.  
We started finding as many prophecies as we could to see if any of them could be related to Siobhan, but any we found had already happened.  
I stood up abruptly from the table and at Sam and Eileen’s startled looks I told him, “I’ll be back”  
I walked back to our room and I prayed to Cas. He appeared seconds later.  
He didn’t even give me a chance to speak. He pinned me to the wall and kissed me.  
“I was just thinking about coming home and doing this when you prayed” he told me against my lips.  
“Great minds” I whispered back  
He kissed me for another minute and then rested his forehead against mine.   
“We have found nothing yet Dean. I’m so afraid that Chuck is messing with us” Cas said “Dean what if he’s messing with us. I can’t bear it”  
I held Cas even tighter and said “He’s not Cas. I have to believe he’s not”

CASTIEL AU  
The last week were a busy time in the bunker. Dean had sent word to me that he wanted me to handle the day-to-day activities as he was working on something else. After that I didn’t see him all week.  
I did my share of watches. I had taken over the roster but never posted Dean and I together.   
Siobhan was busy with lore books and Stephen had recruited a couple of people including Daniel to show them the ins and outs of the running of the bunker.   
SHelley had taken Siobhan’s suggestion of starting a school, and all the parents has sent their kids.  
After my talk with Siobhan about Dean, and her asking us to raise her child, I had a lot to think about, so I had kept my distance from Dean as well, but now he had sent a message through Michael that he was looking for me.

I found Dean in the garage, working on one of the cars. He was bent over the engine and his hands were already covered in grease.  
I stared at him for a moment, drinking in the sight of him. It felt like forever since I had seen him. Taking a deep breath, I said “Hey Dean, you were looking for me”  
Dean looked around and his face was serious when he said, “Hey Cas” and picked up a rag to wipe his hands.  
He stared at me for a long time and then said “I just wanted to touch base with you, see if there were any problems I needed to know about”  
I felt a trickle of apprehension down my spine. Dean’s voice sounded dead when he spoke to me.  
I looked at him warily as I answered, “The men seem happy with the new roster, Doc said everyone’s in good health, the kids seem to really like the school and research is still ongoing for a way to send Siobhan home” I answered him  
“Good, that’s good” Dean said

We stood there in silence for another minute.  
“Dean” I began

But Dean interrupted me, “Cas, wait. I’ve been thinking a lot. Of everything you said. And I understand why you won’t leave with me. Or why you won’t risk the community saying no. And I wanted to fight you on this but you’re right, if something happened to them, I would be devastated, and if they said no to you and I lost you, I couldn’t handle it. So, I’m telling you its ok. I’ll accept what we have, ok. I will be your best friend always. You will always have me, ok. And it looks like we could be adopting a baby” he smiled slightly at that.   
“It might take us a while to get back to where we were, but I want to try, if you do”

I listened to Dean talking and my heart was thumping in my chest. I couldn’t believe it. I left it too late. I took too long thinking about what Siobhan had told me and now my chance was gone.  
I opened my mouth to say something, anything but all that came out was “Ok”

Dean smiled at last and then asked “Can I ask for one thing before we return to where things were with us”

“Anything” I whispered

“A moment, just one moment” Dean asked quietly, and I knew what he was asking.

I don’t know who moved first but then Dean was kissing me, and I was kissing him, and I held him tightly like I could sear him into myself, so that when I was alone again, I would remember what he felt like.  
Dean broke the kiss and whispered to me “I love you Cas. I always have and I always will. Don’t you ever forget it” and he kissed me one more time and ran out of the garage leaving me standing there reeling.

SAM  
Not long after Dean had left, my phone rang with an unknown number. I answered it and the slimy voice of Creedy filled my ears.  
“Are you ready. Its time” Creedy said  
“Where and when” I asked him  
“Where you lost her of course, and right now” and he hung up.  
Dammit.

DEAN Our Universe  
I was still holding Cas when Sam knocked on the door  
“Dean its time” he hollered  
I broke away from Cas and opened the door.  
Sam stood there and said “Creedy rang, its time”.

SIOBHAN  
Needing a break, from the lore books, I decided to take a walk around the bunker. Bumping into Doc, I asked if he wanted to join me.  
“Let’s do one better, let’s go outside and walk” he said, and I looked at him dubiously remembering the result of the last walk I went on outside.  
“It’s ok Siobhan, the men have us covered and we have that new alarm”  
“Ok” I said  
It was great being outside. I took Doc’s arm and we stayed close to the bunker, just walking around it, but it was enough.  
Doc was keeping me informed of everything that had been happening in the bunker, of the school and Daniels training, I didn’t have to contribute anything.  
What he said next surprised me though.

“I’m worried about Dean and Cas” Doc said

“Really” I said “Why”

“Well, I know things have been a bit rough lately around here, but it looks like it’s put a strain on their relationship, you don’t agree” he said when he saw my puzzled look.

“Oh, I agree all right, they just need to figure out a few things I suppose” I said not wanting to say too much.

“I hope so, Dean and Cas have been together a long time, they need each other, they’re good for each other, I hate them to lose that” Doc said

I was getting an uneasy feeling like the Doc was trying to flush some information out of me, so I jokingly said to him “Doc you make them sound like an old married couple”

Doc laughed, “Well, I suppose that’s what they are, aren’t they? They don’t flaunt their relationship in front of us but its solid. I have to admit when you arrived on the scene Siobhan and I found out your relationship with your Dean and Cas, that I thought it might cause problems between them, but it only seemed to make them closer, but now, now something is going on with them”

I couldn’t stand it any longer, I stopped walking and turned to Doc and said, “But they’re not a couple Doc, they’re friends, that’s it”.

Doc looked at me in disbelief “Siobhan, a blind and deaf man could tell those two are crazy for each other, surely you can see that. They’ve been together 5 years. You have spent a lot of time with them, surely you know the nature of their relationship”

“You really believe that don’t you” I asked the Doc

“Of course, I do, everyone does” Doc replied

“What, the whole community??? I asked

“Well yeah, Siobhan look I hope you didn’t have designs on one of them, I’d hate to hurt you but you should know………….Doc trailed off when he saw my face

“Doc you have to listen to me, I have had conversations with both Dean and Cas and please believe me when I say, they are not together, because they believe the community would be against it, with Cas being an Angel and ask them to leave. And Cas won’t let that happen to Dean” I said as clearly as I could

Doc’s face blanched and the colour drained from his face, “No Siobhan, that can’t be true. Are you serious??................No no…………… You must have it wrong……..All this time?? They’ve believed that and they still stayed to care for this community??”

He turned and went over to the tree stump and sat heavily on it. I walked over and knelt on the ground in front of him.  
“How did this happen?” I said, “How could they have gotten it so wrong?”

Doc sighed and rubbed his hands down his face, “Dean has always been a private person, Siobhan but after Sam died, well he retreated even further and spent time with no one but Cas. But he still gave everything to the community. Yes, the Angels were brutal, and everyone here has a horror story about them Siobhan, but even we know Cas is different. We might have been wary about him initially but…………”  
Doc took a deep breath and continued, “We were happy for them, happy that Dean had someone after Sam. When Cas had his powers, he used them for good here, Siobhan. If someone was sick, or hurt, he was there. And to think all this time he thought, we don’t accept him, and it’s kept them from being together…………Jesus all this time. I’m so ashamed Siobhan”.

“But this can be fixed, can’t it” I asked him

“Yes, it can. I need to call a meeting” Doc said standing up.

DEAN Our Universe  
Exactly 40 days after we lost Siobhan, we drove to the woods where we had lost her. Cas was in the seat beside me and Sam and Eileen were in the back seat. Cas made contact with Naomi to tell her what we were doing, and Sam had contacted Rowena.  
They wanted to join us, but we told them to continue searching. That information was more important for us to know. Naomi told us she would have some Angels standing by to watch in case of trouble and we appreciated it.

After parking the Impala, Sam, Eileen and I armed up with machetes and guns. We were going to a land with no monsters, but I trusted Chuck as far as I could throw him. Cas and Eileen would be waiting for us here to come back.  
Not wanting to have a goodbye scene in front of Chuck, I turned to Cas and I kissed him. “Do not do anything stupid, while I’m gone, you hear me, or I will be pissed” but I was smiling at him as I said it.

“No promises” he smiled back at me “Just bring her home ok”.

“I will Cas” and I kissed him again.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sam and Eileen saying their own goodbye’s.   
Cas and I waited at the start of the trail for them and when they joined us, we went in together.

CASTIEL Our Universe  
We found Chuck, Turiel, Malphas and Valac waiting on the spot where Siobhan had disappeared. There was no sign of Creedy, or Walt and I didn’t sense them nearby. Maybe they had outlived their usefulness.

“So, you made it” Chuck said smiling as if we were all having a fun outing together.

“What’s with the entourage, Chuck?” Dean asked

“Just making sure someone doesn’t accidently try to kill me Dean” Chuck said

“Fine but once we are through, you disappear, and Cas and Eileen can wait for us by themselves” Dean said

“But Dean, how will I know if Siobhan has fulfilled her destiny” Chuck said smiling

“I’ll call you” Dean said smiling back at him.

I hated this. We were still in the dark about this prophecy and what it would mean. Dean and I had discussed it, what if bringing Siobhan back here was what chain started it, but we were going to take the chance. We needed her home.

“Fine” said Chuck, a little too easy for me. “Ok let’s get this party started” he clicked his fingers and the string of dancing fire that we recognized as the doorway to another world appeared before us.

“You have 12 hours guys to find her and get back” Chuck said

I moved closer to Dean and when I did, I felt the resistance to my Angel grace coming from the doorway, like a warning to not get closer. So, it was true.  
Dean turned to look at me and I said, “Be careful” and he winked.

Then together he and Sam entered the doorway.

SAM  
Coming through the doorway, I looked around and did a double take. Did we just come home!  
The surrounding area looked familiar.  
“Oh my God, Sammy, is that you?” I heard a voice say  
I turned and a man I never saw before was walking towards me. He then turned to look at Dean. “My god the resemblance is uncanny” he looked behind us at the string of fire behind us.  
“Are you Siobhan’s Dean?” he asked Dean

“Siobhan, you know her” Dean asked, his voice barely above a whisper

“Yeah, we do” he said smiling at us “I’m Joseph, this is John and Michael” pointing to the men behind him, “Our Dean had us keeping an eye here in case anyone came looking for her”

“Your Dean” I asked, “Where is she?”

“About five miles from here. In the bunker” Joseph replied

“The bunker. Can you take us?” I asked

“Of course, you can ride a horse, right?” Joseph asked

CASTIEL Our Universe  
After Dean and Sam went through, Chuck came over and handed me a piece of paper  
“My number” he said

“Why Chuck, you never told us why” I asked him

“When I was God, I had foreknowledge of this prophecy from eons ago. I waited a long time for it. In fact, such was its potency, that I still recall it in perfect detail even with my powers and my memories diminished. This prophecy was always going to come to pass and when you realise why, you will understand” and I found myself standing alone with Eileen, none the wiser.

DEAN Our Universe  
Joseph had sent one of the men on to warn his Dean that we were on the way. I was sitting behind Joseph on one of the horses and Sam was sharing the other horse with John I think his name was.  
This place was just like our world but quieter. Joseph told us a little of the Angel wars on the way to the bunker and what had happened to Siobhan when she arrived.  
“She was pretty sick, but Dean and Cas helped her” Joseph said  
“There’s a Cas here” I asked  
“Yeah, he fought on our side against the Angels and has been here ever since” Joseph said, and I smiled at that.  
“But Siobhan, she’s ok right, she’s ok now” I asked, and I felt him hesitate.  
“What, what is it? I asked feeling frightened  
“Look Dean, my Dean, well he’s my boss so I think I should let him explain ok” Joseph said  
“Is she a prisoner here, because she was an Angel?” I asked raising my voice and I saw Sam look over at me  
“No Dean, nothing like that. In fact, Siobhan saved a lot of our butts. Look, we are nearly there, and Dean will explain ok. That’s why I sent Michael on ahead” Joseph said

DEAN AU  
After I ran out of the garage and away from Cas, I could feel the tears raging up inside me and I couldn’t stop them. I ran to the shower room and locked the door. I stripped and stood under the hot spray and let them loose. My legs buckled and I landed on my hands and knees, crying for the future I briefly held in my hands before it was lost. 

CASTIEL AU  
I walked out of the garage in a daze, my mind in overdrive. How could something that felt so right, so perfect, be wrong.  
Holding Dean, kissing Dean was the most natural, easiest thing I had ever done in my life. And I would never have it again.  
I made it to my room without bumping into anyone else. I sat down on the bed and finally allowed the tears to fall.

DOC  
I found Shelley inside and I told her to get as much of the community together as she could and to tell them to meet in the garage. It was the only place big enough to hold everyone. I was nearly jumping out of my skin waiting for them to arrive and when Shelley came through the door and said “That’s everyone, everybody else is on watch” I thanked her, and I turned to everyone there.

“Thanks for coming” I said to them

“What’s this about Doc” one of the men asked “Where’s Dean”

“Well Dean didn’t call this meeting, I did” I told them “This meeting is about Dean……….and Cas”

DEAN AU  
I finally turned off the water and dried and dressed myself. I was battered and beaten, but I still had Cas. He wasn’t dead. He loved me. And he was here. I would learn to accept that friendship is all we would have.  
I now needed to get back to work.  
Leaving the shower room, I made my way to the map room, “Where the Hell was everybody” I thought to myself looking around.  
Just then the bunker door opened, and Michael was standing on the balcony looking down at me breathing hard.  
“Dean, he’s here. Siobhan’s Dean, he’s here”.

DOC  
I had just finished telling the community of the conversation with Siobhan. All of them were looking at me confused.  
Shelley put her hand up and said “Doc she must have picked it up wrong. You know she’s only been here over a month; she must have crossed wires”.  
“Shelley, she told me of two distinct different conversations she had with both Dean and Cas. They both said the same thing. They are not together. they never have been, because they think we wouldn’t accept it. Is it true? Are they right?” I asked

SIOBHAN  
After the Doc left me, I went in search of Daniel. His enthusiasm for his new job was just the balm I needed for my soul after the conversation with Doc. I found him in the control room, and he was delighted to see me. He immediately launched into a descriptive blow by blow of his day.  
Holding up my hands “Is there any chance we can have this discussion over lunch. I’m starving”  
He grinned at me saying “Me too” and we headed towards the kitchen.

DEAN AU  
I stared in shock up at Michael and said, “Where is he?”  
Michael told me he had ridden ahead to give me the heads up, but Joseph hadn’t told him anything about Siobhan’s current condition. He was leaving that to Dean to explain.  
I nodded my head and said “Michael, find Cas, tell him to meet me outside and explain why and don’t say anything to Siobhan until I have time to prepare him” and Michael ran to do as I asked.  
I dreaded the conversation I had to have, with my doppelganger no less, but I knew if I was in his position I would want to know.

CASTIEL AU  
The bang on the door startled me. “Cas, you in there” I heard Michael shout.  
I ran to the door and said “Michael what’s wrong”  
And then he told me.

DEAN Our Universe  
As we approached the bunker, I could see a man waiting there. It was my counterpart in this world. He was not the first doppelganger of mine that I had met but it was still so strange to see. Joseph stopped the horse a bit away from him and I climbed down gratefully, feeling stiff all over. Beside me Sammy did the same. I saw the other Dean glance at Sam and then do a double take.   
And then I watched another Cas climb out of the bunker and join the other Dean.   
They looked at each other and then they watched as we approached them.

CASTIEL AU  
I watched as the other Dean and Sam approached. I still couldn’t believe it. I was so happy for Siobhan. I looked at Dean and asked, “Where’s Siobhan?”  
“I don’t know Cas, but I wanted to prepare them. I think that’s the right thing to do, right? he asked me.  
“Yes, you’re right Dean” and I smiled at him and I was rewarded with a smile back.

DEAN AU  
They were finally standing in front of me. We were all staring at each other. Staring at Sam too long I realised I was making him uncomfortable.  
“I’m sorry Sam, but I lost my Sammy three years ago. It’s good to see your face again” I said  
Sam looks startled “That’s ok, I’m sorry to hear that”

The other Dean looked at me and said “I’m sorry too. And I completely understand” and as I looked at his face, I realised he did. Maybe we weren’t so different after all.

I held my hand out to the other Dean “It’s nice to finally meet you both. Siobhan has told us many stories” and he reached out and shook mine and then he shook Cas’s with a crooked smile and said “Hi Cas” to which Cas blushed.

When the introductions were over the other Dean said, “Where’s Siobhan?”

I looked at Cas and then I turned to Dean and said “There’s something you need to know Dean, and I thought you should know before you saw Siobhan, to give you time to prepare”

I saw Sam look towards his brother and then Sam asked me “Prepare us for what”

“Look” I said “There’s no easy way to say this, but when Siobhan arrived here, she lost her Angel grace, and she became human again”

“We know that” the other Dean said “That’s why my Cas isn’t with us. But your men told us she survived the transition. So, what is it?”

I took a deep breath and told him “Dean, Siobhan is pregnant………..with a Nephilim”

CASTIEL AU  
I watched as the other Dean and Sam absorbed that information. First was the disbelief, then the realisation and then confusion.  
“Wait what, a Nephilim, I thought there was no Angel power here. How could she be pregnant with a Nephilim?” the other Dean asked

“It’s your Cas’s baby, Dean. And it’s being protected in the womb here somehow. But once it’s born, it wouldn’t survive here, or at least that’s what we thought, but now Siobhan thinks it is strong enough to survive here but………………… We have been going through the lore books but with no magic we had no way of getting Siobhan back home to you” I told him.

I saw the other Dean whisper “Won’t survive here” before he looked at Sam with tears in his eyes, “Siobhan won’t survive the birth, no matter what universe she’s in, will she” he said, and Sam said “I’m sorry Dean”

SIOBHAN  
Daniel kept up a running commentary the whole way to the kitchen, even while dishing up our lunch and now seated at the table he was explaining how the telescope worked. I was so engrossed in him that it took me a second to realise he had stopped talking. I looked up from my stew to see him staring over my shoulder with his mouth open.

I turned to see what he was looking at and saw Dean and Cas standing there and then I looked again and I saw Dean and Sam………..but there was no Sam here and then I looked at Dean again and he was crying and he said “Siobhan” and I finally realised.

I stood up and I saw him glance towards my stomach and then he looked at me and I was moving and then I was in his arms and he was kissing me and it was Dean, my Dean finally kissing me, holding me and his kisses were salty from his tears and my tears and I kept saying “you’re here, you’re here” and then I stopped and said “Cas isn’t here, is he because it’s dangerous for him” and Dean whispered “No he’s not. We know Siobhan we know” and then he just held me tight and we both cried.

SAM  
Watching my brother have his reunion with Siobhan was beautiful and bittersweet. To find her alive only to find out, she was going to die giving birth to Dean and Cas’s baby was too cruel. He didn’t know how Dean would survive it.  
Siobhan and Dean were clinging on to each other, when her eyes opened, and she smiled at me.  
“Hi Sam” Siobhan said, and I moved and then I was holding both of them, my brother and my best friend and I cried with them.

DEAN AU  
Standing in the doorway of the kitchen, I watched as Siobhan finally had her Dean back and I realised now she would be leaving us, and I wasn’t surprised to find how much that actually hurt.   
She had become important to me in a short space of time and her presence had altered my life and my relationship with Cas so much, I barely recognized myself from the man I was before she got here.  
I felt a hand slip into mine and give a gentle squeeze before being released again and I turned to look at Cas, who had tears in his eyes.  
And behind the reunion in front of me was Daniel. I was afraid he would be devastated but he was staring at the reunion with a big smile on his face.

SIOBHAN  
I couldn’t believe it. Dean was here. Holding me. My Dean. I didn’t care about our audience. I kissed him and kissed him and held him tight. Seeing Sam, he rushed over and joined us. My family.  
We finally untangled from each other.

Looking at them both I asked, “How did you find me?”

Dean looked devastated when he spoke “Siobhan, we thought you were dead. We had……………………..we had a funeral. I’m so sorry”

I was shocked at that. “So, if you thought that then how did you find me?”

It was Sam who answered “Chuck”

I looked at him “Chuck. Former God, Chuck? But how?”

“Siobhan, he’s the reason you’re here” Sam said “He said you were fulfilling a prophecy”

I stepped back in shock and turned to look at the other Dean and Cas.  
“So that’s what this has been about” I said

DEAN Our Universe  
“Siobhan, what? What do you mean by that?” I asked

She looked down and put her hands on her stomach. She then took my hand and placed it there. I could feel the baby move under my hand. I looked at her in awe.  
“Hey baby. This is your Daddy, one of them anyway” and she smiled up me. “This baby is not following the same timetable as Jack and he was fathered by an archangel. Our baby is going to be born soon and she’s already strong Dean, very strong. I don’t know why”  
“She?” I asked  
“Yes, it’s a girl. This must be what Chuck is on about. This must be the prophecy”

“We need to get back” I said turning to Sam “We need to get this information to Naomi so she can find the prophecy in Heaven”

“Dean I can’t leave without saying goodbye here, I can’t” Siobhan said

“Dean” Sam said “I’ll go ahead and get the information to Naomi and you can follow. Do you want me to tell Cas?”

“Dammit Cas, yes you better tell him. Prepare him for ………………….” I stopped  
Siobhan looked at me knowingly. “It’s ok Dean”

I looked at her and my heart was breaking and said “No its not”

DEAN AU  
I turned to Cas and said “Find Michael and tell him to drive Sam to this doorway in the truck. It’ll be faster. And then call the community together. Tell them Siobhan is leaving us”  
Sam looked at me and said, “Thank you”   
As he passed me to follow Cas, I don’t know what he saw in my face, but he grabbed me in a bear hug and said, “Thank you for looking after her”.

“Your welcome Sammy” I said. He then patted my back, and he was gone.

I watched as Daniel walked up to Siobhan.  
“Dean I would like you to meet my friend” Siobhan said turning to her Dean “He looked after me here”

Dean reached out his hand and placed it on Daniel’s shoulders. “Then I am grateful and in your debt. Thank you, Daniel,”

“You’re welcome” Daniel said solemnly.

“I’m going to miss you Daniel” Siobhan said and pulled him in for a hug.

Cas returned and said, “They’re waiting”.

SIOBHAN  
Walking into the garage with Cas and two Dean’s I heard a little gasp. In a world without magic, they sure had seen a lot of it lately.  
“Hi everyone. I’d like you to meet my Dean, my husband” I said to them  
Doc started laughing and said “Now that is something. You’re the spit of each other Boss”

“Tell me about it” he replied ruefully

Holding my Dean’s hand, I face the group in front of me and said, “Thank you. Thank you for taking a chance with me after everything you have gone through here. For giving me the benefit of the doubt. I will not forget you.   
Please I would like to say something to you.   
You now live in a world with no monsters, no demons, no Angels, which means the world here truly belongs to you. You can shape it in any way you want. You have a leader here, who cares deeply for you and he is surrounded by good people. Together you can make this world a better place for humans to live in. I believe that with my whole heart. Take care of each other ok?” I said smiling through my tears

One by one, they came up and said goodbye and wished me well. Doc came up to me and pulled me into a bear hug.  
“Don’t you worry about Dean and Cas, Siobhan. I’ve got it covered” he whispered into my ear “You mind yourself you hear”.

I pulled back to look at him and he winked, and a weight I didn’t realise I was carrying, lifted.  
Soon it was just my Dean and Dean and Cas, left there.   
This world’s Dean looked at me seriously and said “Thank you for those words Siobhan. They mean a lot”  
“Well, I meant them” I told him.

We walked out to the map room to find Michael had returned in the truck and told us that Sam had made it through ok.  
I walked over to Michael and said “So this is goodbye partner. Don’t get shot ok” and he laughed.  
“No promises” and he hugged me tightly.

And with that the four of us climbed the stairs and left the bunker. The truck was parked outside and the four of us squeezed into the cab. Dean pulled me onto his lap to make room, but I knew it was because he didn’t want to let go.   
I knew the feeling.

SAM  
On the journey back to the doorway, Michael my driver kept glancing over at me.  
He blushed and said “Sorry” when I caught him again.  
“We were friends” I said, then “Sorry you were friends with the Sam here?”  
“Yeah” Michael said “You look so alike, but his hair was longer”  
I laughed at that, “Dean would be delighted to hear that”  
Arriving at the doorway, I jumped out of the truck and Michael joined me.  
“Thank you” I said shaking his hand, then I turned and walked through the doorway to my world.

“Sam, thank god” Eileen said and threw her arms around me.  
I squeezed her tight but was conscious of Cas looking over my shoulder.

“Sam where’s Dean, where’s Siobhan” Cas said sounding panicked

I walked over to him and said “Cas, they are on the way. I came on ahead”

“So, she’s alive, Siobhan’s alive” Cas said smiling

“Yes, Cas she is, but there’s something you need to know regarding the prophecy. I came ahead to tell you and to get the information to Naomi” I told him

“Ok what is it Sam” Cas asked 

I looked at Eileen and then at Cas “Cas, Siobhan is pregnant, with your child. It’s a Nephilim”

Eileen gasped and covered her mouth with her hands while Cas just stared at me in disbelief.  
“That’s not possible, Sam, that’s not possible. The last time we were together, she was an Angel, so she can’t bear children. And as an Angel I would have to make a conscious decision to make a pregnancy happen………………..” Cas stopped midsentence 

“Cas, what is it? I asked

“No, no no, I did this” Cas whispered, and he fell to his knees.

I knelt down beside him before holding his shoulders, “Cas stop, take a breath, tell me”

Cas looked so broken when he said “The morning we lost Siobhan, we were together, all three of us, and I was so happy, and Dean and Siobhan were so happy, and I remember thinking how I wished for a family for them, that I wished it was possible for us. It was a fleeting thought, Sam because I’m happy and content with my lot. It was just a random thought. But was that enough to make this happen? Did I kill my wife, Sam?” Cas asked me,  
I looked at him and I didn’t have an answer.

SIOBHAN  
Dean helped me down from the truck. In a couple of minutes, I would see my Cas. I couldn’t wait.  
But first I had another Dean and Cas to say goodbye to.  
My Dean walked around the truck to them and shook both their hands.  
“Thank you for taking care of her. I will let my Cas know what you have done for us here. We won’t forget it”

Dean and Cas both nodded their heads and said, “You’re welcome” and Dean walked over to stand next to the doorway to wait for me.

I turned to them and said “I wish I could take you with me. I’m going to miss you both so much”  
Dean and Cas laughed “That would be a bit confusing, I think” Dean said

I took Cas’s hands and said “Thank you for everything, my friend. Thank you for nursing me back to health, and being a port in the storm when I was missing my Cas and Dean, and for agreeing to raise this child and everything else”  
“Siobhan, back in your world, will you survive this” pointing to my stomach.  
“I don’t think so, but I promise I will search for a way. I have everything to live for” I answered him.   
I reached up to hug him and I whispered, “I love you Cas” and he whispered it back to me.

Letting Cas go I turned to Dean, “You are a good man Dean, with a big heart. You are not so different from my Dean in that way. Don’t lose hope. I have a feeling your community is going to surprise you. Thank you for everything. I will not forget you” and I reached up to hug him, whispering the same words to him that I whispered to Cas and like Cas he returned them.

Letting go I walked over to my Dean and with one last look at them over my shoulder I entered the doorway to my world and my home.

SAM  
I looked at Eileen over Cas’s head. She looked as shocked as him.  
“Cas listen to me, we will find a way, we will but we need to contact Naomi” I said but Cas seemed beyond hearing.

So, I prayed “Naomi, can you hear me?” and she appeared in seconds.  
She looked at Cas kneeling in the mud and asked, “Cas what happened?”

I quickly gave her the lowdown.   
“Naomi, I need you to find the prophecy. Can you do it with this information? I asked  
Naomi looked as shocked as I have ever seen her, “I don’t know, I’ll try”   
“Ok you need to hurry. Siobhan said this baby is strong” I told her, and Naomi disappeared

“Of course, she’s strong, she’s going to be a God” Chuck said behind me.

We turned to find Chuck standing there smiling, but he wasn’t alone. Beside him was the Angel Turiel and surrounding us were demons, lots and lots of demons.

SIOBHAN  
Dean and I made it through the doorway to find a terrible sight. Dean let go of my hand and brought his gun up, but where to point it.  
My eyes went straight to Cas. His face was lit up with happiness and despair. I saw his eyes go to my stomach and his face crumpled. I ached to run to him, but I was afraid to move.  
Standing directly opposite me was Chuck.

“Whew, look at you, you’ve gotten big” Chuck said laughing

Chuck then clapped his hands and said, “So, it’s like this, Siobhan, you come with me and I’ll let your family live, ok?”

To be continued


	6. Chapter 6

**Summer of Loss Part 6**

**DEAN AU**

Cas and I watched as Siobhan and her Dean entered the strip of fire, dancing in the air. It certainly was one of the strangest sights I had seen, and I had seen plenty when we had magic in our world.

I turned to Cas and said “We better get home. I don’t like being exposed like this on our own” and Cas nodded.

We got into the truck and made our way back to the bunker.

“Not having to maintain a post there anymore will free up more men” Cas said

“Yeah” I replied

“Gives us a bit of flexibility, and with the bunker and the alarm system, the men and women have more time to pursue other interests, besides guard duty if they want” Cas continues

I could barely respond with another “Yeah”.

I was happy that Siobhan had got home, reunited with her family but the reunion was going to be so bittersweet for them.

I was happy that her baby would be raised by her real Dads even though I had been starting to get used to the idea that Cas and I would raise the child together.

I was happy for my community that we had found a secure location, where they were safe, and I could sleep soundly………… alone.

And I was happy that the man I loved, loved me back even if we couldn’t be together.

“Dean” Cas said

“I can’t Cas, not right now, it’s too…” I said feeling the tears rising up in me again. “I just need time”

My eyes filled that I could barely see out the windscreen, but I felt a hand cover mine where it held the steering wheel and give a gentle squeeze.

Cas whispered “I know”

………………………………………………………………….

Reaching the bunker, I drove the truck into the garage and was stunned to find most of the community already in there.

Cas and I jumped out of the truck and I said “What’s going on? Is everybody ok?”

I saw Doc waving, “Dean, Cas up here”

We walked up to the top of the garage near the entrance into the bunker where Doc and Shelley stood.

“Doc what’s going on? Why is everyone here?” I asked again

Doc looked at Shelley and then at Cas and then me “Dean we need to talk to you and Cas about something”

“Ok, what is it about” I asked bewildered.

“Your relationship” Doc answered.

**NAOMI**

I returned to Heaven and made my way to the library. Entering it, I immediately spoke out loud.

“I need to see everything involving a prophecy regarding a Nephilim pregnancy with Siobhan Winchester the Final Prophet and Castiel, an Angel of the Lord”

I watched as the data was being complied and I believed I had finally found it. The words Nephilim pregnancy were the key, but I didn’t know to add them to the search parameters, because I didn’t know Siobhan was pregnant.

While I waited, I pondered what it was with this family. They may not have been involved with the creation of the Nephilim Jack, but they raised him and now another Nephilim was being born into this family. It was a bizarre coincidence.

My attention returned to the data being complied but suddenly it stopped.

The words “Missing keyword from search parameters” was announced back to me.

I puzzled on that, what could be the missing keyword?

I looked at the words I had input for what seemed a long time, when I realised “Of course”

I spoke again, “I need to see everything involving a prophecy regarding a Nephilim pregnancy with Siobhan Winchester the Final Prophet, Castiel an Angel of the Lord and Dean Winchester a Hunter of Earth”.

This time the information came up without any problems. I read the information and I couldn’t believe it.

I shook my head in awe and said “This family”

**SIOBHAN**

I stared at Chuck in revulsion.

“What’s it gonna be Siobhan? Tick tock” he said swaying from side to side

“You know it’s a real pity when people don’t know when they are not wanted” I said “You tried to destroy all creation and Jack gave you a pass. You should have stayed gone, Chuck”

“Enough” Chuck roared “Or I’m going to start with your little deaf friend here and work my way up through your family, and you’ll still be coming with me”

I felt the rage building up in me, but I tamped it down. I looked at Eileen then Sam, and then my Cas, oh god I had missed him and then I finally turned to Dean.

“No Siobhan” Dean said “Absolutely not”

“Yes, you will” I replied “Chuck isn’t going to hurt me. It’s the baby he wants. Isn’t that right, Chuck?”

Chuck just smiled.

I looked at Dean and put my hand on his cheek, “Go please, all of you. You can’t fight all of them” I said turning to the others.

I heard Cas gasp “Dean no” as he walked away from me. Dean caught Cas by the shoulder and said, “We have to go”.

I nodded at Sam and Eileen to follow, and reluctantly they did.

When they were out of sight Chuck turned to me and said “Alone at last”

**DEAN Our universe**

My heart was pounding in my chest as we jogged away from Siobhan.

Cas pulled on my arm, “Dean stop, you can’t be serious, we have to fight”

“Cas, trust me, there’s a plan but we need to keep going” I said looking at Sam and Eileen.

“Go, go where” Cas asked

“About 1,000 feet, give or take a foot, think you could help us out” I answered him

Over Cas’s head I saw Sam finally comprehend and he grabbed Eileen as Cas flew us out of there.

**CASTIEL AU**

My blood ran cold in my veins at Doc’s words. They knew, somehow, they knew. But Dean didn’t do anything wrong, he didn’t. He gave me up, gave us both up. I had to make them understand.

“Our relationship. Doc, I think you have a bit of a misunderstanding there” I said.

I knew I sounded panicked and I did my best to calm my breathing down, but I could see everything falling apart.

I would have to leave the community,

I would have to leave Dean; I wouldn’t survive that. I knew that now.

But Doc was talking again, “So, Dean and you ARE in a romantic relationship, is that what you’re saying?”

“What no,” I replied flustered “No we’re not, we never have been”

Doc looked at Dean and said “Dean?”

Dean looked at me and I never saw anybody look so sad and beaten as he answered Doc “No we’re not”

**DEAN AU**

I was blown away by Doc’s statement. I was more blown away that it was Doc that was asking. Of everyone in the community I thought it would be him that would have our backs.

It broke my heart to watch Cas worry for me, stumbling over his words to assure Doc we didn’t have a romantic relationship. But they were true words. Except for two stolen moments, we were friends. That’s all.

I realised that Doc was asking me to clarify something and I answered him “No we’re not”

Then he said something, and it took a couple of moments to penetrate and I saw Cas look at Doc with a stunned expression and I said, “What did you say Doc?”

Doc looked at me with a strange expression on his face, part bemusement and part shame and he repeated “Why the hell aren’t you?”

**SIOBHAN**

Chuck pointed with two thumbs over his left shoulder with a self-satisfied smirk, “So, shall we?”

I smiled back at him “Oh, I’m not going anywhere with you Chuck, whatever gave you that impression?”

“Siobhan, you can come willingly or…………….” Chuck said looking less pleased

I gave my best smirk back to Chuck, “mmmm I choose………………. or”

I saw the comprehension on Chuck’s face when he realised what I was going to do. My body glowed white and my eyes flashed blue as the power rose up within me.

A flash of shining white angelic grace burst out from me enveloping the clearing and continued on outwards to the surrounding area, slaying demons where they stood.

I sensed that I had managed to kill most of the demons but Turiel and Chuck had escaped.

**DEAN Our Universe**

Cas flew us to the Impala. He turned to me looking absolutely furious and growled, “Will you please kindly explain to me why we just abandoned our wife?”

I knew Cas was pissed but he didn’t know the whole story.

“Cas, on our way to the bunker over there, a guy named Joseph told me of an incident of Siobhan killing men who were attacking the bunker”

Cas’s eyes widened as I told him the story. Sam jumped in and said “That’s right, the guy Michael who drove me back, he told me the same story”

I continued “On our way back to the doorway, I told Siobhan that we could have a welcoming committee when we arrived back here, so I asked if it was possible to do the same again”

“But how was that possible?” Cas asked confused “if there was no magic over there, and even then, Siobhan never had that power, Dean that makes no sense”

I caught a hold of Cas and holding his face I said “Cas, it’s the baby”

As Cas let that sink in, we heard a low rumble coming from the woods. We turned to see a wave of energy hurtling towards us.

**DEAN AU**

I looked at Doc and then I looked at Shelley who had tears in her eyes and I looked out at the faces of the men, women and children of the community. There was no anger or malice in their faces.

But still I asked “Doc I don’t understand”

Doc cleared his throat “Dean, everyone here thought you and Cas were in a relationship. We just did. We thought you were just private about it, but it always made sense to us. It was a conversation with Siobhan that told us you weren’t. Now, don’t worry, she was discreet about it, but when she realised, I genuinely thought you were together, she put me straight and then some.

I hope you don’t mind but I called a meeting Dean, with the community and I told them what Siobhan told me. We were shocked to be quite honest. And the more we thought about it we were upset and ashamed”

“Ashamed” I managed to croak out.

“Yes Dean, ashamed” Doc said “After everything the two of you have done for us, to think you thought we would stand in the way of your happiness, well………………”

I looked over at Cas to see he had gone stone white. I could see he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He wasn’t the only one.

“Now on the other hand, if you are just friends and that’s all, then we apologise if we have overstepped our place, but I thought this was important to say” Doc said

The emotion was threatening to brim over, and I was nearly crying for the third time that day. God I couldn’t take much more emotion today.

But as my heart was beating a staccato, there was a lightness in my chest. I turned to smile at Cas, but he was gone.

**SIOBHAN**

“Dammit, squirrelly little fucker” I said thinking of Chuck

“Baby, you did good, you did really good”, I said, rubbing my belly. I was dazed and slightly in awe as to what she could do already.

I looked around but I was alone in the woods. I could sense no angels or demons or humans.

I was eager to find out what this prophecy was about and hoped Naomi would have some luck finding out but right now I had only one thing on my mind.

On cue, Cas flew into the clearing with Dean, Sam and Eileen.

They looked around and I said “I smited them, at least the baby did, but Chuck and Turiel got away. I’m not sure how many others. They were too fast”

Cas ran straight to me and once I was in his arms, he was peppering me with kisses all over my face and even though he was a full angel, the tears flowed.

Dean hung back and left us have our reunion, but I could see his smiling face over Cas’s shoulder. He eventually leaned back to look down at my stomach, looking awed and stricken at the same time.

“I did this Siobhan, I’m so sorry” Cas said

“What, no Cas this is a gift. An amazing gift. You and Dean, daddies again” I said smiling up at him through my tears.

Dean walked over then and hugged me saying “I still can’t believe you’re here”

“Me either” I replied

I spotted Eileen and Sam and I said, “Get over here you two” and they both ran over and gripped me tight and then we were all crying.

When they released me, I said to them “Let’s go home, we will research and hopefully Naomi will find something too”

There was nods all round. Cas flew us back to the Impala and then we drove home to the bunker.

**CASTIEL AU**

The blood was roaring in my ears so loud, I thought I was going to pass out.

First, I had thought they were going to kick me out and now they were saying that they thought we were together the whole time.

I couldn’t wrap my head around it, so I fled.

Running down the corridor, I didn’t even know where I was running to. The disbelief was threatening to overwhelm me, and I eventually slowed down to catch my breath.

I was starting to realise what all this would mean. Dean and I could be together.

We could actually be together.

We could finish what we started in his room that night. 

We could plan a future and share it like Siobhan’s, Dean and Cas.

I felt a tinge of anger and regret at the loss of the last five years, but there had been enough regret.

It was time to start living and I knew exactly where I needed to be.

**DEAN Our Universe**

I gave Sam the keys to the Impala and he climbed in front, with Eileen riding shotgun. Siobhan sat between Cas and me in the back seat. I didn’t ask Cas to fly us back as he was looking completely shell-shocked and kept alternating between looking at Siobhan’s face and her stomach.

I could tell our angel was losing it.

The journey home was quiet. Siobhan was quiet. We all were. It’s like we couldn’t believe our luck. The good and the bad.

Driving into the garage of the bunker, I heard Siobhan give a tiny sigh, like she couldn’t relax until she was home.

“Welcome home honey” I said squeezing her shoulder and she smiled, leaning her head against my chest.

Walking into the map table room, we all just stood around looking at each other. I wanted to take Siobhan in my arms but now that the initial reunion and rush of joy at finding her was over, there was a barrier, an awkwardness that I hadn’t foreseen. Cas sat down in one of the chairs and then jumped up again. He paced up and down once and then just stopped, staring at Siobhan.

Sam and Eileen were looking at the two of us, a bit bewildered at our reactions or our non-reactions. I didn’t blame them. I didn’t understand it myself.

**SIOBHAN**

I was home. I was really home. Looking into the faces of Dean, Cas, Sam and Eileen I felt I could breathe a little easier.

Once inside the bunker, standing in the map room was when I realised our reunion was not going the way I thought it would.

By the looks of it, Cas was having a full-scale panic attack, Dean looked like a deer in the headlights and Sam and Eileen looked disconcerted by it all.

**SAM**

Getting back to the bunker, we all sighed with relief. Here we felt safe. This was home. Back in the map room, my first instinct was to continue the celebrations but suddenly the tension was there, all around us. I looked from Dean to Cas and then Siobhan.

Cas was pacing, Dean was struck dumb and Siobhan, well Siobhan looked hurt.

I realised I would have to step in……………. again.

“Siobhan, it’s so good to have you home, but……” I said pointing to her stomach “Do you want to talk about it, actually I think we need to talk about it”

Siobhan tore her eyes away from Cas and looked at me like she didn’t even see me, “Emm sure, yeah sure Sam, maybe that’s a good idea”

She sat down in one of the chairs around the map table her eyes still darting between Cas and Dean.

“Take your time Siobhan, why don’t you tell us what happened from the start” I asked as gently as I could.

Siobhan licked her lips and took a deep breath and pinned her eyes on me “I was pushed and then I fell”

**DEAN AU**

I felt a jolt when I realised Cas was gone. I looked back at Doc and he just said “Go”.

I ran all the way to Cas’s room, but he wasn’t there. I checked Siobhan’s old room, I looked around the bunker and even checked to see if he had gone outside, but here was no sign of him. I tried to imagine what he was feeling.

I knew how I was feeling. Dizzy, giddy, breathless and that wasn’t even from the running. It was like lightbulbs were popping inside my brain with the reality of it all.

I made my way back to my room so I could catch my breath and get myself under control. I would find Cas, we would talk, hell maybe the reality of it all might be too much for him.

What if he changed his mind? What would I do then?

I walked into my room and sitting on my bed was Cas.

I stopped dead in my tracks and said “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I thought maybe you had………….”

Cas stood up and smiled at me and said “Where else would I go? You are my home”.

Again, I don’t know who moved first, but then I had Cas in my arms, and I was kissing him, and he was kissing me. I pulled at his t-shirt determined to touch skin and when I did, I hear Cas groan into my mouth.

I pulled away and he looked at me with wet lips and heavy eyes.

“For the rest of my life I will never get tired of hearing that sound coming from your mouth” I whispered to him

Cas pulled me to him and kissed me roughly, ending the kiss by sucking on my bottom lip, “Well, can we please get the rest of our lives started?”

I smiled against his lips as I said “Yes Cas, we can”

**DOC AU**

I watched as Dean ran into the bunker and smiled. Thank the gods. First Siobhan and now Dean and Cas. Today was a very very good day.

I turned to the community and cheekily said “Whoever’s taking over the roster, better take Dean and Cas off it for the next couple of days”

Shelley passed me and with a wink said, “Better make it a week” and I laughed out loud.

**DEAN Our Universe**

As Siobhan started her story, I found myself sinking into a chair opposite her. Sam and Eileen sat down on the steps leading to the research room and Cas stood stock still.

She told us about how sick she was, that for the first week after losing her grace, she was unconscious, how she was brought to meet the leader of the camp and when she met them she thought it was me and Cas, there to rescue her.

She told us then how she was questioned by the other Dean, what she had told them, their reactions to the photos on the phone.

She told us then about the men threatening Daniel, the boy I met and how she and the other Dean saved them.

I was furious when she mentioned the attack by the woman named Catherine. And that when she woke up 6 days later, she knew something was different.

Siobhan continued, “I thought for a while I had got my angel grace back. The other Cas noticed my bruises had disappeared and I tried to fob him off. I made them nervous because they knew then I was keeping something from them, but I wasn’t even sure myself what was going on with me”

“When I felt the baby move inside me, I knew what it was and what it meant. Over the next week, I could get a sense of her, when I slept it was like she was communicating with me, letting me know how strong she was, how soon she would be born……………………….I’m sorry, I know this is a shock to you” said Siobhan pleading with me and Cas with her eyes,

“I know I have had more time to get used to this than you and, I understand. But Cas, Dean this is our baby. She was made out of love. Please this is a good thing”.

**CASTIEL Our Universe**

I listened to Siobhan telling her story and I found myself being dragged in so many directions.

I wanted to scream for the ordeal she went through.

I wanted to drag her to our room and make love to her until we couldn’t anymore.

I wanted to tear this world apart at the injustice of finding her and now realising we were going to lose her because no human has ever survived a Nephilim birth.

And to my shame I wanted to fly out of there and not listen to anymore.

When Siobhan had finished telling her story, she slumped a little in the chair. She was exhausted. I cursed myself finally remembering the energy she had expended, ridding the clearing of the demons.

Dean got to her before me.

“Siobhan, come on, you need to rest”

She looked at Dean and then she looked at me “You’ll stay with me, right?”

Dean answered her “No place we would rather be”

I couldn’t say anything.

**SIOBHAN**

I was wiped after finishing the story. I just wanted to go to bed and curl up in bed with my two husbands who I still couldn’t believe I was back home with.

Dean reached for me and helped me stand up. With his arm round me, we walked towards Cas and he held me from the other side.

We walked back towards our room, but I was puzzled when they stopped outside Dean’s old room.

I looked up at Dean and said, “Why are we here?”

Dean looked down at me and said “Siobhan…. we haven’t……….I mean we couldn’t”…………….”

I looked at Cas, “Siobhan we haven’t slept in our room since you went missing. Look you rest in here, I’ll change the sheets, tidy up………….”

I grabbed both their arms, “No, no I understand but right now I just want to rest in your arms, both of you, please. It feels like forever”

“Of course, Siobhan, c’mon, we can lie down in here” Dean said

We went in and Cas sat me down on the bed. He knelt down and took off my shoes and socks. I couldn’t take my eyes off his face and I drank him in. I noticed though that he was finding it difficult to look at me.

Dean turned down the sheets and lay me back and both of them settled on each side of me.

I turned my face into Cas’s chest and reached my hand back around Dean’s waist, trying to get as close to them both as I could. Cas’s arm came around my shoulders and Dean was stroking my hair.

“We are going to figure this out, I promise” I whispered to both of them.

If they responded, I didn’t hear them as I gave in to the tiredness rising up to meet me.

…………………………………………………………………….

I woke up the next morning to the most delicious sound. Dean was snoring in my ear. I would never complain about it again. He was pressed up against my back, his arm around my belly.

I was curled up against someone else’s belly. An angelic belly. I turned my head to look up at Cas, lying on his back, looking at me with his crooked smile.

“Morning Cas” I smiled at him

“Morning Siobhan” Cas replied “I missed saying that to you, you have no idea”

I moved then to cup his face and he bent down to kiss me. I returned the kiss eagerly when suddenly he pulled away.

“What is it?” I asked

“Nothing” but he wouldn’t look at me.

“Hey, this is me. I know the last couple of months have been rough for all of us, but we can get through this” I said

Dean stirred at my back and squeezed me closer, “Morning, what’s going on”

I looked over my shoulder to grin at him and said “I’m trying to seduce Cas but he’s playing hard to get”

Dean peered at me sleepily, “Cas playing hard to get, no such animal” and I laughed but when I turned to look at him, his face was a blank slate and he got up out of bed.

Cas wouldn’t meet my eyes, “You must be hungry, I’ll go and make you some breakfast, ok”

I reached for him, “But Cas, wait you’re……………..” Cas left the room

“A terrible cook” I said to the closed door and sighed “Shit”

“I’m sorry Siobhan, he’s taking this very hard, like we just got you back and now…………” Dean said

“I know, I know, I just want to make the most of the time we have left” I said

“Oh god, don’t say that, we’ll find a way, there has to be a way” Dean said

I turned towards him and we held each other tight.

**SAM**

As I made my way to the kitchen, I could hear the banging of pots and cutlery falling onto the floor.

I entered the kitchen finding Cas, of all people struggling with the cooker.

“Ah Cas, whatcha doing?” I asked

Cas turned around looking very out of sorts with his familiar confused look on his face.

“I’m trying to make breakfast for Siobhan” he said

“But, ah Cas…………you can’t cook. And anyway, I wasn’t expecting to see any of you for a few days at least. I even bought new ear plugs” I said grinning at him

Cas didn’t smile back, in fact he looked more panicked.

“Cas what’s wrong, is something wrong with Siobhan?” I asked

“No, no she’s fine, look I’ll go out and get breakfast for everyone ok” Cas replied, and I knew he was ready to fly out of here.

“Hey hey Cas wait, stop” I said holding onto his arm “What’s wrong?” but he wouldn’t look at me

“Cas this isn’t about what you said in the clearing to me, about this being your fault, because it’s not, you know” I said

Cas looked at me then and my heart nearly broke for him, he looked so lost.

“I can’t, Sam, I can’t…………….” and then he was gone.

**DEAN Our Universe**

Lying there with Siobhan in my arms, I thought I understood what was going on with Cas. I knew because I felt it too. The thoughts of losing her, when we just got her back, felt so unfair.

I wanted nothing more to make love to her but without Cas there, it didn’t feel right. Siobhan seemed to be of the same opinion, as she didn’t make a move to initiate anything either.

With a sigh, she rolled away from me, lying on her back with her hands on her swollen belly.

I covered her hand with mine, “How do you feel?”

She turned to look at me and said “I’m fine, really. It’s not like a normal pregnancy. I have no aches or pains, I feel great, so definitely not normal”

“Well that’s good, that’s something” I said feeling foolish. I was tongue-tied with my own wife.

Siobhan covered her face with her hands, “Cas is taking this very hard, I thought…. you know what I thought………….”

“What Siobhan?” I asked

“I thought I would be spent from making love to you guys before I had to deal with the reality of this and get stuck into research but now……………….” Siobhan dropped her hands and looked at me again.

I looked at her, but no words would come out.

“Then it’s time I got up; I’m starving” Siobhan said as she walked towards the door.

“Siobhan……………” I began

She turned at the door and said “It’s ok, I understand”

**SIOBHAN**

I showered and dressed and even the pleasure of wearing clean fresh clothes, was not enough to lift my mood.

Something was changed within my marriage and it frightened me. My breath was coming in, sharp and jagged.

I stood looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, willing myself to calm down. A feeling of warmth spread out from my belly and encompassed me. My daughter looking after me before she was even born. But it was enough. I felt calm.

I left the bathroom and made my way to the kitchen to find Sam and Eileen already there. The table was full of takeaway boxes with the makings of an Irish breakfast.

“Hey” I said, and Eileen jumped up and hugged me again. I squeezed her back, before signing to tell her again how much I had missed her.

I looked at Sam over her head and smiled “Breakfast on you? I asked

Sam’s smile faded a bit and he said “Ah no, Cas got breakfast”

“Oh, where is he?” I asked

“I’m not sure. He came back with the breakfast and left again. He said he was going to try contact Naomi, see if she had found anything” Sam replied

I tried to school my features, so I didn’t show how upset that made me, but I don’t think I succeeded.

“Are you hungry?” Eileen asked

I wasn’t anymore but the baby needed nourishment “I could eat”

……………………………………………………………………….

The next three days were nearly worse than being lost in the other universe. While I was there, spending time with the Dean and Cas there, was a torment sometimes, because I had to constantly stop myself from reaching out to them, for a kiss or a hug. It had been exhausting sometimes.

But I realised now, it didn’t compare to having to do the same with my husbands. Cas made sure we were never alone, not only with me but Dean as well. He spent a lot of time in Heaven trying to contact Naomi with not much luck. We couldn’t understand why she hadn’t even contacted us with an update, even if she didn’t have anything to update us with.

Another person we couldn’t contact was Rowena. Her secretary said she was busy, but it was still very strange that she hadn’t come to see me since I got back. I have to admit I was a bit miffed.

Jody, Donna and the girls had promised to be here within a few days, and I was so looking forward to seeing them as life back home in the bunker was not what I expected.

Dean and I delved into research with Sam and Eileen, but a lot of this had been covered by them when they were researching Kelly Kline’s pregnancy.

The nights were the worst.

I had tidied up our old room and we slept in there on my second night back. Cas showed up as we were turning in and he climbed into bed beside me, without saying a word, putting his arms around me and Dean.

We lay there in silence until I finally fell asleep.

I thought I understood. I thought that maybe they were upset about losing me but in the days that followed, I felt like an intruder in our bed. As if I was coming between them. It was a horrible feeling.

On my fourth day back, I felt the walls of the bunker closing down on me and I knew I had to get out of there.

Cas was gone, Dean was in the shower and Sam and Eileen were having breakfast. I crossed the map room and climbed the steps to leave.

“Where are you going Siobhan?” Sam said from below me.

I didn’t answer and he couldn’t stop me, the baby made sure of that.

**DEAN Our Universe**

“What the hell do you mean she left?” I roared at my brother “Why didn’t you stop her?

“I tried Dean, but she put some kind of whammy on me, I couldn’t bloody move” Sam replied

“This is unbelievable. She shouldn’t be out there. Chuck is out there, Turiel is out there. She could be handing herself to them on a bloody silver platter. What the hell was she thinking” I stopped trying to catch my breath.

I looked to see Sam and Eileen give each other a meaningful look.

“What?” I asked

“Nothing” Sam replied “But Dean with her power, or at least the baby’s power, I think she’ll be ok. I’ve been thinking, the only way Chuck knew to get Siobhan to come with him was to threaten her with us. But he didn’t realise how strong she was already. She probably just wants to blow off some steam. She’ll be back”

Again, Sam and Eileen exchanged a look.

“Ok what’s going on? What’s the look for” I asked

Sam craned his neck to look at the ceiling and said “Dean it’s none of our business”

“What’s none of your business” I asked him

Sam blew out a breath and looked at me “Your marriage”

I took a step back in surprise but managed to say “Ok, you had better explain that”

Sam held his hands out in front of him, “Dean you are my brother, I love you, and Cas, he’s family and I love him dearly but how you have been acting around Siobhan since she got back, well it’s painful to watch…………I can only imagine what she’s feeling. Look you and Cas have had a terrible shock, I get that and this takes some getting used to, but Dean…………..she doesn’t have much time left and I know Cas blames himself………………..but how was he to know that this………………….”

I cut Sam off there, “What do you mean Cas blames himself?....................I know he’s upset about, well about everything, but how is this his fault?”

Sam is staring at me in disbelief “Cas didn’t tell you??

I stared at my brother, “Cas didn’t tell me what, Sam?”

Sam swallowed hard and said “Shit, Dean I think you need to talk to Cas, this isn’t………….”

“Sam spill it” I growled at him

“Dean, no……….” Sam replied

I spun around and prayed out loud “Cas get your feathery ass down here, now”

With a whisper of wind, Cas appeared before us. He looked at each of us and said, “Is everything ok?”

“Well let’s see husband of mine” I said biting each word out “Sam seems to be under the impression that you think Siobhan’s pregnancy is your fault, and I would love to know why that is and let’s see is there anything else I need to tell you……………..oh yeah, our wife has flown the coop”

Cas actually went pale at my words, “What. Where did she go?”

I bit out, “We don’t know Cas”

Looking at each of us in exasperation, he turned and was gone.

Sam and Eileen shared an awkward look and I raised my eyes to the ceiling.

“Well, that went great” I said

**SIOBHAN**

I stomped over the fields surrounding the bunker. I didn’t go far; I just needed the air and space. I was scared, I was mad, no actually I was fucking furious, but I was also sad and miserable and lonely as hell.

I craved Dean and Cas’s touch like a drug, but it wasn’t just sex, it was the looks we shared, the smiles, the laughs, the intimacy of being together. The whole package.

I had wanted to give them both time to get used to me being back, but the distance I was feeling from both of them made me think that time was something that wasn’t going to heal this.

I felt I has already lost them.

I felt Cas’s presence before I saw him and the thought that went through my mind immediately was, “I don’t want to talk to him”

Cas landed right in front of me but looked right through me. I watched as he looked all-round me and whispered “Siobhan, where are you?”

I looked down at my stomach in shock and said “You really come with the upgraded package kid”

I would have laughed if I wasn’t so miserable.

Cas took off and I was alone again.

**CASTIEL Our Universe**

Three hours later I returned to the bunker to face Dean. I found him sitting at the map table with a beer in front of him.

He looked up at me and said, “Where the hell have you been?”

“I was looking for Siobhan, Dean. I couldn’t find her. I don’t understand, how she could be gone without a trace” I said, knowing I sounded panicked.

Dean’s face blanched “Well seeing her power first-hand, I think if she wants to disappear, she can. Not that I blame her”

I looked at Dean, “Why do you say that?”

“Because we’ve been behaving like assholes, Cas” I said raising my voice

“You mean I have, don’t you” I replied

“Oh no, I have some blame to take here as well, Cas but first you can explain why you think this pregnancy is your fault, because I would really like to know” Dean said

I was trying to find the words to explain when a voice above us said “I would love to hear the answer to that for myself actually”

The two of us looked up to see Siobhan standing on the balcony staring down at us. She did not look happy.

“Siobhan where have you been? It’s not safe out there. Chuck could have found you” Dean said

Siobhan gave a little snort and her voice sounded a little bitter when she replied “I managed to hide from Cas pretty well, I think I’m ok”

I watched her as she descended the stairs “You saw me”

“You were standing a foot in front of me Cas and looked right through me” Siobhan replied

“Why didn’t you say anything. You had to know I was worried” I said to her

Siobhan looked at me then with anger and maybe some fear, “Really, because you didn’t seem bothered by your wife’s fears since she came back. You know like how she fears she’ll never make love to her husband’s again, or how she fears she won’t be around to raise her daughter or hell, even just never going for a walk in the fresh air again without…………………………well one out of three isn’t bad I suppose” Siobhan stopped to take a deep breath before continuing,

“I just need to know from the two of you is…………..is it too late………have you mourned me…………………..got over me…………I just need to know is this a

two-man marriage now?”

**SAM**

I sat with Dean after Cas had disappeared, but I still refused to tell him what Cas feared. It was up to Cas to tell him. After a few hours and a couple of beers, I made my way to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. On my return I heard voices and realised that Cas and Siobhan had returned, thank Jack. I made to turn away, when Siobhan’s voice filtered over to me “Is this a two-man marriage now?”

Oh god. Those idjits.

**CASTIEL Our Universe**

I stared at Siobhan in shock realising I had screwed up again. Wallowing in my own misery and forgetting about Siobhan and Dean. I had done the same to Dean when we thought Siobhan had died.

“No, Siobhan, no” I said “Not true, not ever true”

Dean spoke over me “God Siobhan, no, not in a million years”

“Then talk to me, please, Cas what in God’s name would make you think this was your fault?” Siobhan cried

Rubbing my hand over my face I spoke “The last time we were together…………in bed……………..the day you disappeared……..well I was so happy Siobhan. It was a perfect morning, a perfect moment in time…………”

Siobhan whispered “Yes it was”

“We were………together and for a moment……………and it was just a moment…………..I wished I could give you a child………..” I said

Watching Siobhan’s eyes widen, I also saw Dean look at me sharply from the corner of my eye, “You were part angel Siobhan, I didn’t think anything would happen…….it was just the briefest of thoughts, it was stupid and reckless but I honestly didn’t think…………….”

Siobhan gave a brief laugh “Cas, how is that your fault, it’s funny because it’s a bit of a coincidence, I had the same thought, I would have given anything to make both of you daddies, I remember thinking I wished it was possible for us, but Cas that doesn’t make it your fault, it’s a coincidence, nothing more”

I realised she didn’t understand “Siobhan do you not remember, that is the only way Angels can copulate, is by conscious thought, even if you were human when we had been together I would have to make a conscious thought to make you pregnant, the baby is obviously Nephilim, and you won’t…………………..you won’t survive this. I did this, I did this”

I sank down into one of the chairs, resting my elbows on my knees I held my head in my hands.

Soon I felt hands pulling at me “Castiel Winchester, you look at me”

I raised my head to find Siobhan kneeling in front of me “Listen to me. This baby was made from such love, how can it be wrong. How can it be a mistake? This is yours and Dean’s baby. She is going to be amazing because she will have the best daddies in the world. And the best Uncle and Aunt to help when you screw up”

Dean snorted and knelt down beside us “You should have told me Cas, I thought we had got better at this communication business”.

I placed my hand on Dean’s cheek, “I guess I had a relapse”.

Turning to Siobhan, I said, “I don’t want to lose you again” and I pulled her into my arms and squeezed as tight as I could.

After a minute or so, I looked over her shoulder to stare at Dean, who was looking at the floor as if he was thinking about something.

I raised a hand and cupped his face again. When he raised his eyes to me, I asked him, “What is it?”

He shook his head slightly and said “It’s funny, I’m thinking back to that morning and I realise, I thought the same thing…………..”

Siobhan lifted her head off my shoulder to look at Dean.

“Thought what?” I asked

Dean gave a small laugh, “I remember thinking the same, just for a split second, how it would be nice to have a child of our own. I knew it wouldn’t happen naturally, but I thought maybe adoption sometime in the future”

Siobhan looked at me and then looked at Dean and said “That is a hell of a coincidence. All three of us having the same thought”

There was a puff of wind and standing on the other side of the table was Naomi.

“Finally,” she said

**To be continued**


End file.
